LIFE SUCKS : Meaninglessness

I don't care anymore if I live or die. Everything I do to better myself just seems pointless. Nothing makes me feel good about myself. I eat too much. I smoke too much pot. I gave up drinking to feel better about myself but I feel like if I drank I would feel better. I would kill myself if my dad told me he would kill himself if I ever did. I would rather not have him do that. So I guess I am a coward if I do kill myself and a coward if I don't. I smoke cigarettes bec I know if I do it long enough it will do the job I am too much of a vagina to do

shotgun or machete?

my life sucks i work all days to support a family that hates me. i never get to have any fun, and my girlfriend doesnt even want to fuck me anymore. i have nothing more to live for cause my daughter has lice. so i ask with all seriousness shotgun or machete?

i don't know

My life just sucks right now, no idea why. Just all of a sudden it hit me. My life is just not interesting anymore.. no one special in my life anymore. They all move away, I don't know why. The most interesting part of my day today was walking my dog.. don't know what to do with myself anymore. Haven't dated in over 4 years, never was truly in love, don't know what it feels like. Liked this one guy, but that didn't work out. Nothing ever works out, so it's not really a surprise. I just want something to live for.

I hate life, period

I wish I could end my life, I hate it so much. Even the people that are supposed to love me don't love me or care about me, my own mother doesn't want to talk to me and my father is manipulated by her all the time. My kids don't ever listen to me and their father died, lucky him, he was in a car accident and left me all alone here with 3 kids. I hate my life and my face and my body I wish I could destroy it and cut it into so many pieces that no body would ever recognize me when I finish with this stupid life. I don't want to go to work I don't want to get up in the morning I don't have any friends and I don't have anyone that cares about me. What's the point of being here what's my purpose I just want to eat and eat until I explode and no longer have to suffer in this stupid world . I'm so tired so so tired of having to keep trying and trying. I keep trying to make things better and give my family more but it just doesn't work stupid luck is never on my side I never fucking win I'm always the fucking loser that everybody makes fun of and uses and doesn't care about.

4 white walls

I'm 22 and i hate life. Ever since high school ended I've felt like there is no purpose to live anymore. People who I thought were friends don't stay in touch and more than that my family relationship is not that good. I wake up everyday and pull out of my driveway hoping that the brakes will go or il just come to terms and run it into a tree. I enjoy being independent but the extended solitude of it makes me want to die. Il be graduating in a few years with a engineering degree but then what? Just one step closer to being alone the rest of my life. I would off myself but there's too many people I can't live behind the world. Fuck the world.

idk

I don't expect any comments or anything I just need to vent.

I try so hard to do all of the right things all the time, say the right things be there for friends give the right advice, make the right grades, live my life right. I just wish I had someone to talk to completely about everything without feeling judged or ashamed. I am never right for anything. I try so so hard and in trying so hard i've developed an eating disorder, disowned religion, fucked up my grades, and am just a horrible person.
I won't let anyone know that though because to everyone else I have it all together. But really I have no friends that I can truly count on, my own sister doesn't understand and she was the closest thing to me before college. It's like college distanced me from my life back home and then when I go home for breaks I have no one to distract me from my own thoughts and I have major panic attacks and depressive moods where i become distant from everyone around me and I don't mean to hurt them it's just I can't be alone with my own thoughts because they consume me and make me feel worthless.

I have nothing to live for, everyday when I go to sleep i remind myself of why I'm alive and it's only because my family would never be able to get over my death. I have NO other reason. I don't have true friends, I don't have a relationship with anyone, I don't have good grades, I don't have a job, my body is no where I want it to be, I have the worst relationship with ...

Different Day

I am a 26 year old male that is here to say, life is a joke. Everyday is the same thing wake up do what your told eat shit and sleep. I am so sick of this same old lifestyle, I have been single now for the better part of a year, I have lost my job, my parents will not speak to me, and everyone around me seems to be better off than I am. I see happy couples in the stores and I think who's cheating on who. I see kids and think, you little bastards have no idea what pain staking horrors await. This world is going to end soon enough with the way things are going and I will be the first one to say bring it on already. I smoke weed just to pass the time, and it seems like the only good time I have is when I am so fucked up on whatever drugs I can find that I can not hold my eyes open. I realize my thoughts are random, but that's just the mind of a future serial killer. My girlfriend left me because I didn't ask her to get married or at least she says, in truth she had already found a replacement. I have nothing to look forward to with no money, no job, no companionship, just me and my random ass thoughts moving forward without a future. Oh well fuck it only thing I can think to do is bitch about it on this website before I lose my mind. People win the lottery, but not me, people die everyday, but not me, people make love everyday but not me. When is my time for anything?

Meaningless

the only way i found to feel anything is to get high i dont matter to anyone i have no friends i stay bored to death there is absolutly nothin to do i do have a boyfriend who i cherish but wow thats no big thing i stay wherever cuz i lost everything if i died nobody would care and thats sad as fuck why am i even here it some sick joke

pretend to be happy, it make it easy on others

i feel so alone with no one to talk to. when i first met my boyfriend four years ago, my friends stopped spending time with me. everyone in my social circle now is a long time friend of my boyfriend. it feels like my boyfriend has this huge support group of people who identify with him and share his interests, but almost all his friends are uninterested in anything i ever have to say. my boyfriend doesnt share my interest, and i dont feel close to anyone i know. I feel happiest working on creative projects, but when i finish, nobody cares about it, it makes me feel like i am wasting my time and i feel no sense of purpose. I have struggled with depression for so long now. the worst part of depression is feeling alone, feeling like all these things that are so hard for you, nobody cares or wants to listen, when you talk about feeling depressed people just brush it off and usually make you feel worse. after a while you keep all these horrible feelings inside, probably forever, and nothing is ever going to make it feel okay, nobody is even going to care, so you just pretend nothing is wrong and you feel empty like you are living a lie. its especially sad when you spend every day with the same person for years, and they dont ever try to make you feel better. my boyfriend wont even listen to me when i'm upset, i feel like i will live a complete lie for the rest of my life.

Hello, I am 18 years old. My life sucks. I lost everything. Money, house and myself. The material things are not that important but what is happening to me is not to be explained. Everyday, for a month now, when I wake up the first thought is what am I doing on this planet. My existance or anybody elses wont change anything. I dont see any reason of us, people living. It is terrifying that we are alone here, nobody knows why or for what. All of us get to do the same things. We grow up, go to school, learn to have a job than a family and after 60 it gets really bad. Than we die. End of story. Could you find anything important here? Coz I couldnt. There is the same pattern that is repeating itself on and on. I dont live to have a great life and bring out of it all the best, I am waiting for my death. I dont see any great future here.

Might as well try this

I am a 21 year old female, about to graduate from college, I have a loving family (sort of), and some loving friends (sort of). I should be thankful for my life, and some days I am...but most of the time everything is meaningless.

I suffer from clinical depression, and I honestly think I am bipolar because I never know how I'm going to feel when I wake up every morning. I have recently developed a drinking problem which I blame on my constant state of loneliness.

I have always tried making good decisions, yet I always fail. I'm almost convinced that I love to feel pain. I love to hurt. Ever since I graduated high school my life literally flipped upside down. I realized that I love putting myself in bad situations. My expertise in making poor decisions led me to have sex with a teacher from my high school the night that I graduated. This fucked up little fling lasted two more years until I got pregnant and really had no choice but to have an abortion. Best part about this man is that he literally did not have a heart and could not express emotions.

Before I actually became pregnant, I had asked God that I was ready to fall in love...so he sent me a piece of shit who used me and took advantage of my good qualities. He walked out of my life a few months later...and when I say that he "walked out" he really punched me in the face and set my soul on fire before he skipped away.

One month later I was fucking the teacher. One month later I...

No purpose, No drive.

Ever wonder why some people are workaholics?

Why people want to find a way to make themselves pathetically busy, to the point where you are almost unable to see them regularly?

Why some people cannot seem to stay single, why lottery winners hang themselves, why celebrities commit suicide, why there's so much depression in the world?

In my opinion, one of the main reasons for all of the situations above is PURPOSE. Finding a purpose for your life, a meaning for your existence, something/someone waiting for you to wake up in the morning, a motivation to put on clean clothes in the morning and get out of your safe, comfortable bed.

The reason why im on this very site. I feel as if I have no purpose. I search, I dig, to find some hidden talent, some passion, some interest... I don't come across any. I have very good looks but that almost seems to be about it. And that only gets your foot thru the door (not in every case) but after that?

Today I had a horribly depressing day. and I will tell you this, I AM PMSing. That is very true. But apart from my raging hormones, underneath, I have some needs that are not met.

When I was younger, I always envisioned myself to be a successful, beautiful woman who everyone would love. I envisioned a handsome guy finding me and taking me away.

I am 23 and apart from receiving my bachelor's degree, I havent achieved any other goal. I look at people who have had the same time on ear...

life I didnt want

I'm 20 years old and live in a small town in Oklahoma. I have a job that takes 10 hours of my day. I work nights and sometimes weekends. I had so much plans after high school. I planned to go to college, hang out with friends, and a relationship. But I've been out of high school for two years and havn't went to college, havn't had a relationship since high school, and havn't talked to anyone outside of work in over 8 months. I come home to no one, see no one, and hate having a boring life. There is no places to go to meet anyone here. There's only a store, and I could only meet someone from 8am to 11am so you know no one my age is out that early. Life doesn't seem worth it. Just wish life would change.

12 years alone

I am 29 years old but I have allays felt older ever since i was a kid L could never relate to if so a few people i never had a girlfriend in high school and I thought i was because I am shy with women but after 12 years it most be something in me that is broken I have never had a mining full relationship. i was living with my mother and brother until last year and that did not help me and after I moved away this feeling of anxiety hit me and i went out and I meet some women but I did not know how to treat them so I lost there affection that was short lived and the last woman I met I really liked her but one more I did not know what to do and after one encounter and my stupidity she do not want anything to do with me and for the past last moths i being in this depression That i don't want to do nothing or go out and the only thing that help me from feeling worst is pot because I went to get drunk and my depression got much deeper and this feeling of just want to be numb and the separation of the few friends that I got had not help and I the feeling of just wanting to ended all but i do not want to do to my mother of her son committing suicide just because i not happy will just bring more pain to her but I know if I die tomorrow only she will care and this is after I started watching suicide videos mostly the one of Budd Dwyer and thinking that be me one day because I do not know how long i can feel this way before i can't take more because i am so alone and unhappy that life is not word living this way and I feel that i don't belong any were and that i am repugnant to women but is all in my head and i do not know how to scape it I am 30 years old now and do not have reasons to live for and also i can't sleep well or get pleasure from any activity i am broken inside i do not why or how to fix it and also I do not dream any more and when i do is me the moment of my dead and it wakes me up and I feel my life is being a waste

Nothing was not bad nor was it right

I am 57 male,without a single friend in this world.But,god has been good to me always.Looking back,I can see the blunders I have been through.I used to masturbate a lot even when I was a very small kid.It used to give a sort of comfortable pleasure after.I used to stammer a lot,and that made me the laughing stock and object of being ridiculed by everyone,small and big people alike.My father was a stern man,who had never really given us anything like other peoples dad,but is quick to scorn and scold and beat me everytime he gets a chance.By the time I crossed my 18th age I cannot control my desire for a physical sexual relationship with a woman.And thus I got involved with a widow 10years my senior.Even from the first experience itself,I found out this is the only real pleasure I got in my life,and I hung on to her for 7 years.She too was willing,so much so that,I can go and have her any time and place I feel like.Even in a conservative society like mine,I used to signal her to come out when there are guests around,and make her come to the toilet where I will be waiting.I have even made her masturbate me in the midst of other family members without their knowledge.She was ready for everything.But the day I got married,I stopped going to her,and she too got the message.
But,now,after all these years,I am getting old,and as already mentioned,without a single friend in life,no one to talk to even when wife goes to work,I am tired and disillusioned with the world.I cannot get along with people at all,I desperately need something to do in daytime.But what,I dont know.How to make people like you,and accept you.

depressed

lifes such a sh*t. got married a year back n now it looks like everything i do is for someone else.. noone really cares.. no one cares bout my feelings.. my studies..my career.. everything is bout others.. lifes so useless.. feel so dead, so suffocted wanna run away n keep running till dere is no energy even to feel d pain.. help me god

I am just your average fucked up individual with no meaning in life and no real reason for existence. I fantasize everyday, tell myself I have some meaning. But then I realize it's just bullshit. It's just hope that keeps you going. It's just hope that keeps the poor occupied while the rich live the fucking life.

Sometimes I wish all the hurt and broken people would unite together. Then maybe we could heal. But fuck it. We're weak, that's the only reason we're in this shit anyway.

I don't know how to accept that. I don't know how to accept that I am just weak and I always be, and that I will never change my fate in life, because I couldn't even be fucked or motivated enough to try.

I thought I found true love, twice. Those two girls are the only ones I ever shared anything with - and now? Fuck I don't even know where they live or what their numbers are... we've just drifted apart and it's been five years since I've seen either of them.

So now I spend christmas alone. Fuck I don't even believe in god. Christmas is just about family and gathering around, feeling connected. I never feel connected.

I am 21 years old and just another face in a sea of faces. We're all going to the same place. The same graves. And it makes no fucking difference what any one of us thinks about it.

I think about sex constantly. Sex has ruined my life. I've had every sexual thought imaginable.

I'm intimitely hopeless. I couldn't be intimate with a girl because I don't even know what intimacy is - besides I've been fucking ignored by girls my whole life.

I'm so bored of all this shit.

My only son committed suicide Oct.31,1999 - My darling wife of 43 years did the same on May 10,2010. I have a daughter 42 that seems to blame me for their deaths and will have nothing to do with me.
My son had a wife and 5 children when he took his life after losing his job, his home, and his wife to divorce.
My wife fell, broke her back, and couldn't get the doctors to believe just how much pain she was suffering, and took her life when I was away buying groceries.
I am 69 years old, living all alone in a huge house with nothing but my darling wife's little chihuahua and my memories of when I was a family man.
They are wonderful memories and they are all that I have to live for now.
Each day is nothing but a consistant repitition of previous days,television, playing with the chihuahua,checking for mail that never comes,paying a phone bill for a phone that never rings,and talking to my departed wife as if she was still here with me. Life for me is a heavy weight around my shoulders that gets heavier with each passing day. I bought a .45 caliber handgun and keep it for the day that all this finally gets to me. If it is true that there is life after death, I long to be with my dear sweet wife again forever and always.

Ugh

Everyday is basically the same, and I pretend I'm enjoying something in life. In reality, there is nothing to joy. Life isn't fun. It's misery. If there is a hell, even if I went there, how much worse could it be than the one we're living in right now? Everything that once was interesting for whatever reason seemingly became boring. Picking up girls use to be the most fun thing for my friends and I to do. After a brutal relationship, I haven't even really tried. In fact, I don't think I can anymore. Whatever the reason is why, I don't think girls find me charming or even that attractive for whatever reason anymore. Currently, I go to college, seeking a stupid degree for a stupid job that I most likely won't even get, because my effort is sub-par when it comes to school. In the meantime I work at another stupid job and I am around depressed people 24/7. Instead of working there, I probably should be them. But the last time I admitted I had depression, nothing worked out well. I felt the same, so what's the point? No matter how many times you cry wolf, nothing is going to chance 180. Life, for whatever horrible reason, doesn't work out that way. It's a pure misery, and sadly enough, I have at least 80 percent of it, if not something happens, to go. Pfft...

why go on

i have two brothers that used me to help them accomplish themselves and than both in a drop of a dime forgot that they got to where theyre at with help of others, one brother has made it big for himself and never looked back, and i resent him and disowned him because i used me and dropped me like sack of bricks once he didn't need me and left me with nothing, another brother was my business partner in which i took him on as a partner to help him get off his feet. but he ended up losing all of our companys assets and inreturn left me with the debts and took the business contacts for himself, so i became an agry person, and got myself into a bar fight where i almost came close to killing someone, now at age 29, i have nothing. no money, no income, no support, i could be looking at jailtime, why even go on, i used majority of my prime years helping others and in return this is the thanks i get. my girlfriend left me because shes a bitch that didn't wanna hang around when times are rough. my friends are no longer friends because i have nothing to offer. i wanna just give up . i have no reason to even wake up some days. the glass is half empty. i would consider just ending , but i'm not man enough and the end result would cause my parents to have a heart attack and prolly follow in my footsteps, worse of all i dont even think anyone would care or miss me if i actually did just die.
i go to sleep at night and wish i dont wake up...life just sucks right now. why even make the effort if the end result is gonna get me back to this shitty feeling i have now. still waiting for karma to work its magic on me. because life certainly has not been fair to me at all!