| | Posted by Chelican at January 14, 2012 |
My life sucks. Last week, I cut my finger on a tin can and it wouldn't stop bleedin g. I go to the doctor, they run all these tests, today I found out I have hepatitis C and I'm might die from it. My credit score is low and my car needs an oil change. I only have one week of vacation at work and I'm down to my last thousand dollars. I just finished my dinner but I'm out of milk for tomorrows breakfast and its waaay to cold to go to the store right now. Plus I think I pulled a hammy. I just don't know how I'm gonna get through this... |
| | Posted by dodo777 at January 13, 2012 |
I am 51 alone and sssooo depressed.I turned to the church but had no help from them.I did hear they are have complaints.I am now meditating which has helped me no end.I recomend it to any one it gives you a strange calmness and peice of mind.
I drank most of my life because I didnt have a job as I got arthritus in my hip.I live alone I have kids but only see them when they want.I would kill myself but havent the bottle to do it.
Times are getting hard in south wales every thing is going up in price.I have a car and that is the only enjoyment I have.
People here are comitting suicide one girl hung herself by a school men are throwing themselves in front of trains one threw hiself off a car parking building so sad.Another guy stabbed his family and then killed his self quite a few times this has happend lately.So many are loseing their jobs and I cant see it getting better any time soon.
I know there are others out there like me but I suppose it helps to type things down.Like I said meditating has helped some times up to an hour but it makes me feel at one with myself.I have made such a bad name with drinking that was ten years ago mind now I dont do nothing now but the damage has been done.I have had quite a few breakdowns as my upbringin wasnt the best been sexualy abused which hasnt helped my father beat me when ever he could my mother was also violent to us my sisters and I .My father though loved my sisters they have done well in life me crap.I feel I am just waiting for the day I become ill go to hospital and die like so many I know.Today if you havent money life doesnt seem worth living.IO eat loads of chocolate to make up the feeling of being lonely I suppose.I am not fat though quite skinny really.Any way thats my sad story.I bet there is millions like me but it seems I am the only one that is suffering |
| | Posted by Elena at January 13, 2012 |
I'm a 24 girl,I have cyclothymia, it is an easier type of bipolar. I enjoy life at one moment at it's highest and all of a sudden I wake up totally depressed. I struggle with this for 11 year now. Developed it during teen age - alcoholic father, family fights, shocks and suffering. Studied a lot though, wanted to become an architect but my depression kicked in right before the exam, failed. Became a civil engineer instead, masters too - I hate this. I developed an inner world, had tons of crappy relationships, suffered great depressions after each one. I have a heart condition for 3 years now. Ended up not pursuing any of my dreams, not finding a job, no guy seems to stick around all though am look really good and I'm fun and easy to be with ( I'm just creating subconscious barriers for not getting hurt). Because of cyclothymia I start motivating projects and then just abandon them when I get depressed. All I want is to feel like a normal person, get affection, have a normal life. Do appreciate your mental health! PS:I will never stop trying to be better nor loose my hope though.. |
| | Posted by timid and lonely fat guy at January 12, 2012 |
i have had anxiety and deppresion all my life and no one understands me because they werent born with a chemical embalence in the brain. i have tried so many differant types of medication but they always give negative side effects and i have to get off them. if that seems like it cant get any worse i am also an ugly fat guy who is a complete turn off to every woman in the world. i dont think there is a woman in the world that finds me attractive. i will never get a girlfriend. even if i was good looking and had girls all over me. it would still not work out do to my anxiety and deppresion like i already mentioned. i am pretty much afraid of everything and because of this i dont drive or go to college because im to timid. i have a boring job at my dads factory that he owns. but maybe one day i can take over. it would probably make me a little more succesful with women but i strongly dought it. any ways i hope there is a cure for all of my horrific problems that have plagued me all my life. im afraid that my only cure is shock therepy to my brain at a mental institution. life really does suck big time. |
| | Posted by anonymous at January 11, 2012 |
My story is quite different from everyone else. You see me and I look just like any other normal person...but my problem is quite different,I am a 20 year old person that has a urinary track infection that refuses to go away. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I ABSOLUTELY HATE myself whenever I wake up wet..and the stomach cramps after is horrible.
If anyone has any solution, please help me! I'm soo scared of anyone else finding out... |
| | Posted by K at January 11, 2012 |
God hates me. The past four years in a nutshell: My brother gets testicular cancer. My Aunt gets ovarian cancer. My friends refuse to listen and help me through this time. My uncle dies. My grandmother gets ovarian cancer, my father doesn't tell us, I have to find out when they are praying about it in church. She dies a week later. My father is an asshole, I want my mom to divorce him, convincing her takes years and when she finally does serve him the divorce papers she finds out she has uterine cancer and can't divorce him or she will die because she relies on his insurance. I prayed for YEARS for my situation to get better, but mostly for my moms back to be healed from pain because it is so intense that she only can sleep four hours a night, but it only gets worse, her back and my situation. My grandfather dies, my mother's lung collapses, I start dating a guy who is emotionally abusive. I start cutting. I think about dying ALL the time and have planned my suicide out countless times, but I could never leave my siblings like that...
There is probably more but I can't think. I'm in college now and I just started drinking, I do it around twice a week. I'm not sorry either, even though it would break my mom's heart, because getting drunk is the only way I can make sure I don't cut anymore.
I don't believe in a 'god' anymore. And if there is a god, then he is cruel and delights in the misery of people, especially good people.
Thanks for listening. |
| | Posted by Insanity at January 10, 2012 |
My life fucking sucks my life has always sucked and will continue to suck i got held back and had an early birthday say was always older and never fit it i have an abusive mom a dad that never stops working and a sister that lives on the other side of the country moving sucks im always in "programs" outpatient mental hospital ones i have major depression ADHD agoraphoiba depersonalization depersonalization and possible schizophrenia i gave myself a lebret piercing and got a keloid scar possibly for life what girls gonna wanna kiss me also im so anxious i barley ever leave my house plus im always shaking and barley sleep or eat also i have no friends and hate everyone ik i cant fet over my x from years ago and im not even 16 yet i wish i was fucking dead... |
| | Posted by anonymous at January 10, 2012 |
Hello to anyone who may be reading this,
I don't know where and how to begin, but allow me this moment to build up to my "frustrations" as I write along. And as you begin reading, please do not feel the need to continue on for I write solely to express my feelings and none other. I hope that I am able to commit as much of myself to this as I possibly could. Also, please note that I’m really not going to bother with my grammar as much so please don’t be judgmental.
I am twenty four years old. I am Asian but naturalized as a U.S. citizen sometime ago. I am currently trying to look for a job that I can actually do and perhaps enjoy. The problem of course is that I don't have a job experience here in the States so it's very difficult to find one. I'm only a high school graduate so I can't expect to find any job because I practically know nothing.
I've had a rough childhood growing up in the Philippines. I don't know my biological father and my biological mother died when I was eleven. I always feared and hated her though, since she was pretty rough on me (emotional, mental, and physical abuses). Then I lived with my grandparents and I went through a whole lot of intense manual, physical labour, from eleven to the age of sixteen. I thought life before was tough but this time I knew what it meant when people say “life is hell.” I’d experience almost every form of physical, mental, and emotional abuses possible (without physically dyin... |
| | Posted by anonymous at January 9, 2012 |
Present: I am 25, married, with a baby on the way, have a beautiful, loving wife, a house, a car, an education, a business, tonnes of amazing friends, a family who loves me and what would seem to be, not a care in the world.
I know what you must be thinking; what is my problem? The truth is, I don't have any, per se, other than that my wife is battling severe depression. She has attempted suicide twice, and doesn't get out of bed. This illness has consumed her. I live in a constant state of worry for her yet nothing I do has any affect. She is in therapy and on medication(a struggle finding the proper dosage, but pregnancy hormones are a bitch), but is getting worse. I would never leave her, I love her with all my heart. I am worried my child will inherit this disease. I am running out of patience.
Depression is a miserable heartless bitch.
Somebody out there please tell me there is a light at the end of her tunnel. |
| | Posted by anonymous at January 8, 2012 |
I'm an 18yo with bi-polar depression. My family life isn't that great, My mother was too busy with her abusive boyfriend while i was growing up, my sister and i can't be in the same room for 5 minutes, my dad was largely absent for my childhood and trying(failing) to make up for it now. My best friend refuses to spend any time with me or take my calls due to his girlfriend (who hates me). The reason we became friends is our mutual affection for the ganja (shrink says it's unrelated to my depression). I was a loner at school who always kept quiet and withdrawn at the back of the classroom. I struggle to hold conversations with strangers which makes employment and romance cripplingly difficult. I also become paranoid about perceived reaction from people when it comes to dating. I wanna know what you guy's think, Am i normal? |
| | Posted by whogivesafuck at January 6, 2012 |
well first i spent the first 20 years of my life as a loner, i never had any childhood friends not that it would matter because now that i am 23 and never worked a day in my life (that i got paid for) and i am hopelessly addicted to Klonopin of which doctors wont fucking help i cant afford and the ER is shit i have blacked out countless times i have had seizures nothig helps like i said i have worked with my dad to pay the rent a lot i am a slave how about that for a thumbs up or thumbs it down be an ass i guess?, also recently got a girlfriend (dont fucking ask how) she is down on herself trying to be skinny for me she's 200lbs and she's not that great looking but at least shee is nice so give me some not that bad on this i guess for that simple reason, i firmly expect my life to be pure shit before i reach 30, and possibly after, if i make it to the after with all the fucking med problems and shit i get pains constantly unless it take opiates with my meds.... i cant touch alcohol its happened ive done a lot of things ive exercised and passed out they told me to eat pizza i eat pizza i throw up i cant get off my meds cause cant afford a doctors visit and please dont get me started on how bad i hate people in my life at this point. i wish i had stayed away from people like i used to , eating my lunch in the bathroom stalls.. my sister fucked my uncle at 13 (longer story but too longto tell) basically he coulda cut my throat when i was 8 and that caused my parents divorce... |
| | Posted by Mark at January 5, 2012 |
Ok so im 30 yrs old and have aspergers syndrome which no body seems to understand which makes my life very diffucult ive been single a yr and a half before that i had 2 long realtionships my last girlfriend turned out to be evil she had bi polar i did everythink for her and she just treated me like dirt my son was born she moved home and wouldnt let me see him and then she couldnt cope and stuck him in care and because she had not put my name on the birth citificate i was not allowed to see him plus she made up lies about me which didnt help.. before she left she rang social services on my brother about his kids the result of that none of my family have spoken to me in 2 yrs only my mum i see and my best m8 occasinally other wise im all alone no one would give me a chance of a job i done a few college courses in the past but nothink recent i have sleep apnea my healths gone down the pan i now have fibermongelic and took codiene which lead me to get addicted neck loads to cope with the pain my dog i bought for company just bites me and poos and wees all over my kitchen 24/7 my life is a living hell i sleep 12 hours from being exhausted i remember a time i was happy with life and had friends people didnt blank me like they do on facebook now i become a social recluse and think about killing myself everynight recently i been sleeping with a razor under my pilar thinkin should i just bloody hack my wrists to bits i went to a bridge in my town to jump off and they shoved me in a mental hospital for the weekend and gave me sycho drugs trouble is i dont have mental health problems although i am down and depressed :( |
| | Posted by H8 Life at January 5, 2012 |
From the very beginning I seem to have been hand picked for suffering and punishment. I have Asperger Syndrome which prevents me from being able to have any kind of normal adult relationship with anyone and makes me so fucking stupid that I can't perform any job past the part time 15 year old type level. If this disability were not enough, I also have arthritis in nearly every joint and have Crohn's Disease. I pretty much can't go 20 minutes without excruciating pain and having to shit my guts out, which provides constant opportunities for embarrassment and humiliation. In the rare times where my illnesses and disabilities don't get in my way, just strokes of plain bad luck will pop up to keep me down. I've worked ten times harder than any person I know and don't have a penny to my name. I'm in $20k of debt, none of which is my own spending, all basically because a "friend" stabbed me in the back and stole my credit card information. I tried taking the case to court and lost because I was too much of a dumb fuck to even do that right. Both of my parents have severe mental illness and I'm largely responsible for looking after them as well as my sister who has severe autism. On top of all of this, I'm going to be stuck single my whole life because I was lucky enough to get some kind of virus that no Dr has been able to diagnose which has caused deterioration in my erectile tissue, making me unable to have sex. Oh yeah, and I'm slowly going blind too.
God just loves me so much. |
| | Posted by Christmas Navidad at January 3, 2012 |
I hate everything,I'm ugly and I have paranoid schizophrenia my life has always sucked I recall no pleasant memories i had a terrible childhood my father smoked crack and would leave for extended periods when he was home he would beat the shit out of me as did my mother she was also so very cold and emotionless. I've never had friend in my life.I never get to leave my house because my dad won't let me,this has resulted in major social anxiety a trip to the doctor or grocery store or whatever almost always results in a panic attack and I have no education I admit that is my fault for dropping out of school due to anxiety and depression I could have stuck it out .I'm such a loser I have no goals or anything to look forward to, I am always completely alone but that's fine I hate everyone any way I've spent the last 4 years laying in my bed & crying I should be in college or working but here I am: 19 in my parents house wishing I had the balls to kill myself. I used to collect vinyl records to pass the time and give me something to do but I don't care anymore it was just a waste of money,And I'm very embarrased I cared so much about a first press KING TUFF LP or whatever the fuck none of it matters life is so pointless,stupid and gross I'm a loser cry baby |
| | Posted by LittleSister at January 2, 2012 |
So I'm 44 yrs old now. I was the "pretty girl" growing up. Very popular in school, excelled at everything from swimming and tennis to playing pool and basketball. Nothing I couldn't do! Always had tons of friends, plenty of guys to choose from etc. My personality drew people to me. Never met a stranger, friend to everyone. I wrote the book on charisma! Held great jobs with major corps. I always has to be "busy" with something, couldn't be still and certainly never had a moment to be lazy or withdrawn. I've been married for twenty years now to a wonderful man and we have two children. I've felt blessed my entire adult life.
In 2008 I began going through menopause. Wasn't that bad really but as the months went on, I developed an essential tremor in my neck. My head began to shake/bobble somewhat. The more I concentrated and tried to make it stop, the worse it got. If I were in a stressful situation, it was really bad. Had a lot going on in my family - death of my Mother, getting stuck overseeing the care and wellbeing of another elderly family member, moving to a new house, losing a job I loved etc - all in the span of 6 mos. One particular weekend, I felt as if I had the flu and I never recovered from it. Long story short, after a gozillion appts with various Docs, I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Totally ruined my life! I lost my memory. Struggled to complete sentences at times, cannot think of simple words. I couldn't sleep. The tremor sometimes makes ... |
| | Posted by Water at January 2, 2012 |
I live with my (recently emotionally abusive) boyfriend of 8 years and his sister, brother in-law, and their two kids for past 4 ½ months. I have Major Depression but can’t take medication because I’m trying to have a baby. I’m 33 years old and have Endometriosis and I’m showing bad signs of infertility. My doctor told me to try to get pregnant as soon as possible and avoid any stress so I don’t have a miscarriage because I am running out of time. I’m also dealing with a stomach disorder due to the effects of the depression on my appetite; I lose my appetite instantly when I’m upset and my stomach curls up like acid. I’m always upset or uptight in the home we share with his sister. I also have anemia and other minor aliments caused by the more serious aliments (Depression & Endometriosis). Basically my hair falls out every time I shower and I sleep over 12 hours every day I have off from work and still feel tired. I no longer take care of my personal hygiene. All I’ve ever wanted was a child my entire life. I love children. I stopped trying to get pregnant after the miscarriage I had, after I moved in. I knew it was a horrible thing to bring a child into this. Me and my bf had gone to counseling to work out issues before we moved in and he had made some great changes. However, I saw that my bf going back to his old behaviors. We were supposed to get married but I put a hold on it when I started noticing him let things slid with his family disrespecting me. My he... |
| | Posted by henry s. at December 31, 2011 |
i'm 45 years old, unemployed, separated, and about to go through a divorce.
i couldn't believe how well things were going in 1999-2000, the .com internet days! I had stock options worth over $4,000,000, just been married for 2 years, had a nice, new home with bright prospects for the future.
now, i'm over $100,000 in debt. i've failed at starting my own business, found out my wife had a sexual affair outside the sacred bonds of marriage, been diagnosed with mild depression, can't find a job, probably am about to lose my car, and the self-pity story goes on and on...
how did i find myself in this predicament? can things get any worse? probably. but then i think about cancer-survivor lance armstrong who came back from death to win the tour de france an unprecedented 7 consecutive times! sure, he's been accused of taking drugs, but has he? i don't think so. after all, in america, we are presumed innocent until proven guilty. such inspiration in lance armstrong's story.
also, i've been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, slightly obese, and out-of-shape. my doctor wants me to lose about 20 pounds as my goal. so, i guess i gotta cut out the cheese and other fatty foods when i go to harris teeter with my vic card... oh well
will my problems ever cease? probably, not. i hope i'm not being too whiny, but you-know sometimes i get down, y know. it happens. and it is very slightly therapeutic to vent anonymously on the internet.
oh well, dog bless! and happy new year!
keep the faith! strenth and honor! what we do echoes in eternity! |
| | Posted by anonymous at December 31, 2011 |
Well my story is diffrent from alot. I lived in Florida got my degree and moved to Mississippi to start a TV carrer. I loved TV was so happy, making and saving money. A couple of years ago I got offered my TV dream job in Colorado, I quit my job in MS and flew to CO, when I got to my new employer I was only to pass a drug test to start work, I was clean then. When I arrived I found the young guy at the TV station who told me I had a job informed me he gave the job to a young hot girl with big boobs. I flew back to MS to try to get my old job back, but I was too late. Its been 3.5 years since then. I look for work all day and all night, but the little town in MS I'm in is dying. No new jobs just places closing its doors. The money I saved for retirement is almost gone. With no insurance I lost my ability to go to the doctor for my scoliosis so I had to get medication from other than legal ways. The meds I used to take where non addictive, but you can't find those on the street, so pain killers it was. Then I got so board my house became a prison to me, so I started taking them to pass the time. Now Im hopelessly addicted. I even went to school and became an EMT because the hospital here had 16 job openings, when I became and EMT they had none. I still look for work, but know spend about 18 hours a day in bed. Sometimes I think life just is not worth living. All I have is my cat he has been my savior. He is 13 and I know he won't be around much longer. I don't know what I will do when he is gone. Well thats my story not as bad as some but its my personal hell. I'm stuck in a dying town with no work and one friend who is also a hopeless addict. |
| | Posted by Misery at December 29, 2011 |
I'm 33 years old and my absolutely blows goats. I conceived by two teenagers who never wanted kids. My dad left when I was baby leaving my mom to raise me by herself. She couldn't handle it and turned to substances (e.g. pot, cocaine, LSD, heroin, crack, etc.). She subsidized this habit by resorting to petty crimes and got involved with drug trafficking and gangs. She instilled in my mind that if I ever told the police, I would die since people that's what happened to people who told on one another. She met an abusive partner and I witnessed repeated torturous domestic violence. She begged me to call the police as she was beaten and then told me not to. It was paralyzing each time as I was scared for her and at the same time scared of the consequences of telling on someone. This isn't even getting into the physical and emotional abuse and neglect. As a result of my poor circumstances, I was bullied in school and the boys chase me home and hurt me. My mom made it clear that I was an unwanted child and my dad made it clear by disappearing from my life.
I ran away from home at 16 when I knew the police couldn't stop me. I moved in with an abuser who seemed to be better choice. He was physically, sexually, and emotionally abusive.
I held on hope that if I finished school, got a good career and met the right person, life would turn out okay. That plan did work for me for awhile.
From a father who never wanted me, I inherited a very rare ge... |
| | Posted by anonymous at December 29, 2011 |
Life is so fucking shit. If you're not fucking up then you're getting fucked up. It seems that much worse because I'm the only one I know that seems to have to put up with so much bullcrap.
I have Epilepsy, Complex Partial Seizures both whilst awake or asleep. I've had it since I was 11 (1998), just after starting secondary school. Prior to my seizures starting I was in top groups for every subject and was told by many teachers how far I was likely to make it in life. Then I started having them. 99% of my time was spent at home for the first 2-3 years as the hospital had no idea what they were doing. I was put on lots of medication resulting in lots of side effects such as acne, shaking, major anger issues, tiredness, weight loss, dehydration etc. etc.
Of course I was bullied, BIG TIME, in school (when I was actually there) being the only person with Epilepsy and having to cope these side effects. Even people I classed as friends back then would pick on me, where I'd become such a social outcast and have no self-esteem. The school were no help at all as that just happened to be the schools worst years, so they didn't care. I ended up in all the lowest classes and left school with nothing.
I tried an art course but had to quit after attempting to commit suicide. I was diagnosed with depression and put in care for 6 months. I also had an operation for my seizures in this time which seemed to do the trick, both for my seizures and mood. I went bac... |
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