| Posted by heisenburgh at May 1, 2012 |
let me start by saying that my life has gone straight to fucking hell over the last 6 months. I lost my job of 16 years at a major telecommunications company. I could not believe it, BAM!!! OUTTA NOWHERE..... Then two months ago, my wife comes to me and says that my three children are my brothers and they have been having sex now for ten years. took the dna tests, i have no kids...Get it? shit!! Then I lose my house, car and the whore took control over my bank account. I drive a 91 camery now and live in a week to week motel. Did I mention that I work at a carwash now? And to top it all off, my colostomy bag exploded all over a lexus today, when i was trying to dry it, the owner hit me in the side with her coach purse. I got fired. EVERYONE LAUGHED. I WANT TO DIE!!! Please, please someone out there give me some relief. Im almost out of time, they only give you thirty minutes at the library to use the internet. |
| Posted by anonymous at April 30, 2012 |
This will be a long read, so apologies and thanks in advance to those who read this.
I have never met anyone else with a life like mine, ever. Born to physically and emotionally abusive pill addict CA-razy mother (who attempted to kill me with her car once, and poisoned my food another time), I have nothing but bad memories from my childhood and adolescence. My father, although a good man in many ways, such as raising one of my brothers as his own -- a brother who was conceived while my mother had an affair -- was emotionally distant, and sometimes physically abusive. He died from cancer a few months before I graduated high school, which was a couple years after my parents divorced.
My mother had remarried after their divorce, and my stepfather was a sick bastard, an alcoholic. One day, when I'd interfered in my mother's abusive behavior toward one of my little brothers, she beat me with an electric frying pan and bit me (huge bites that bled profusely), then threw me out of the house. I went to live with a friend and her parents.
My stepfather lured me one night with the promise he wanted to help patch relationship between me and Mom, but he was lying. He held me prisoner in his car and raped me at knife point. I'd just turned 18. The police did not believe me despite evidence my stepfather had been drunk and had fake ID, as well as a knife in his glove compartment (after I escaped his car, telling him I needed to use the bathroom,... |
| Posted by PW at April 30, 2012 |
I need to do something here. I feel afraid to leave the house most days, seems like all I want to do is sit around and smoke pot. I have been chronic for more than ten years now, and I want to stop but can't seem to help myself, I feel like I turn into a maniac when I feel the need for weed, like no matter what I do life will always be nothing but duty. Up until now I have managed to keep rent paid, but work has dried up and I can't motivate myself to look anyway. I know I could get work but the fear of the whole process leaves me panicking before I even start. And, of course, reaching for my pipe. I feel ashamed of getting high, and getting high is the only way to avoid the shame. I have made it to 41 now, but I feel the same as I did as a kid; scared, lonely, and unloved. And as I get older, now I am married with a 7 year old boy, I feel the constant weight of responsibilities that I don't feel capable of dealing with. And what's the world's response to me? Same as always. "Suck it up." I hate this world sometimes. |
| Posted by HAFED HASSAUD ABDULA KAIM TURNER at April 30, 2012 |
i feel so bad, someone shit in my turban as i slept, and i am losing my faith in the seventy virgins. I am 46 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. my job at stop and save sucks, and I hate detroit. people come in and call me apoo. I hate life, i hope there are at least 6 virgins waiting for me. i am ready to go |
| Posted by Jake Mittens at April 30, 2012 |
I used tho think money is not important and happiness can be easy to get without it. I was wrong this world is a big social facebook social business world. money is the language to be part of this world. Or you be homeless and end up in homeless shelters, streets, or in jail. Money is only way to get food, water, shelter, clothing,etc. Money is power. Money is power over goods and services of this world. It is our lifeline in this world. Without it we be scrambling around to get it for our survival for air. Many governments, polititians, boards, military, businesses, actors/actresses, athletes, hospitals, doctors, police, construction store baggers, maintence workers, everyone including u and me need money or we be nowhere in life. Some have so much and many have average and most are dirt poor and will try in desperation to get it anyway possible. By lottery or casino, go to college, go pan handle, go start a new business, find job openings, or sell drugs or prostitute or other items, or scamming people or rob or even kill people etc. Money$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ is the TRUE illumanti of life.... people ignore the power or don't see it.. like I Do... it was given power ancient times when bartering became hard with just items and so government/kings/nobles gave power to paper and money is created... if u had lot of it u are wealthy and happy.... and other side if u have too little to nothing u are stressed and u will be short lived and try to find ways to get more to re... |
| Posted by anonymous at April 30, 2012 |
Hi, I'm not good of a write so my story may be completely short. I grow up in a house where people never told me that they love me, really this is true, both mom and dad. They always told me that I was a mistake and should of never been born in the first place. I have an older sister that my so called parents adore so dearly. They brags on her and treats her like she's God and show her off to the public, and I'm standing in the Background looking pathetic. So my sister moved out and seems that things gotten worst on my end because she moved out it seems they took it out on me which they did in fact, say I was the reason why she moved because I'm a annoying little bastard and that I should be the one that goes. My sister moved with her boyfriend and don't clearly think that is had anything to do with me. I'm 18 years old and if I play my cards right I will get out a good job and move out their goddamn house and they probably never see me again. Yes I was raped, raped by my damn dads long time friend, and I couldn't tell both my parent because no one would believe me as they never does. I have no friends, well, not the kind that I can trust. Despite it all, with no support from any parents, I made it out of high school and now probably off to college. I just wish I had it better. |
| Posted by anonymous at April 30, 2012 |
for a long time ,i didn't have the feeling loving a person and to be loved.i have boyfriend and some good friends,but i still feel lonely.when the night falls,when i close my eyes,i wish someone in my mind ,but my life is so empty,there is no one can give me that great memory to think of.everything i did is wrong ,i just make it worsen every step i take,and now i pay for the price,i become the loneliest person. |
| Posted by anonymous at April 30, 2012 |
well..here is another life story. 16 yrs old seems like a long time, ever since i can remember..ive been... unusual,(that weird kid) i dont know what it was growing up..the fact that im 6"4. or maybe really fat. who knows but i was never accepted by kids. i didn't let it get me to down just kept going to school every day. i always hated it. failed my classes i was very unintelligent. if it wasn't for the spell check you would be seeing as you read this long story.lol. kids got worse around 7th grade. thats when puberty was hitting everyone hard i guess. lines were drawn on who were the "popular kids"..and the losers..(me)..i got bullied hard,
i dont even know why? i was at least 4inc taller than most of em.. i didnt put up much of a fight. being raised as a hardcore christian, i was more like a giant teddy bear than a huge fighter.. i never did make friends...just sat through my classes each day every day.. come high school i found that one friend. and who would o thunk he was a "popular kid" so just like that i got into the group?
but i didnt know why they were " the popular kid" how they got all the chicks
seems like they were praised by everyone even the cool teachers.then i took a good long look at it they were huge rebels, ya pot smokers, crime, doing what ever they want basically. being raised a good christian kid i despised that, but.. they were the only friends i got? so about mid way through freshman year.they turned on me..said i should just kill m... |
| Posted by anonymous at April 30, 2012 |
I just want to say that I feel all of your pains. I hear that some people says....Life is what you make it. I think not, I think that some people can't handle when things get out of control, and they just can't handle it, no matter how hard they try. There are things that we just doesn't have control over and its not because you're weak. Never mind some ungrateful comments people leave here as if they don't no you a tall and they don't know your feeling nor never walked in your shoes. God loves you, and would never put anything on you that you can't never handle. I have problems as well, and I can say that I deeply know your issues and pains. If only I had a magic little stick and could wave it across the world to help people pain and problems go away I will but only God have that kind of power and he will make a way for you all. I don't know you all but I love you all and leaving a nasty comment like some people does, by all means if that makes you feel better go ahead, as it won't hurt at all but I will forgive your nasty comments because I know you probably don't know any better....God bless each and everyone of you and I wish you all the best.....Take care of yourselves |
| Posted by anonymous at April 30, 2012 |
Where do I begin. Well since no one knows me on here I'll keep it simple and trust me it still may be confusing! When I was a kid my father cheated on my mom.. Okay sad day, not a big surprise the way people are today. Well a whole lot of shit went down from when I was 7 till today where I'm 17! Now onto the real fun part. My single mother has a decent job but for some reason the bills just don't like to see people having food on the table. As my mom is trying to raise two kids on her own she can't handle it, soo her mom moves in! Yeah cool for the first two minutes! She is simplily a terrible women. My uncle moves in because he is stupid and lost his job so we took him in. Well a year later and Yupp you guessed it, he is a heroin addict! Please hold the applause it gets better. Throughout the next couple of years after him we had my Aunt and a cousin move in(separate times) now currently I have another cousin living with us an yes my nana still lives here too! Well he has a STUPID wife with three kids! So on the weekends, I yes I get the babysit (unpaid) three kids! Ages 6, 4, and 2! And wait theres more !! You ready? I bet none of you are expecting this.. His wife alcoholic has 'mummy ' issues! She is living with her mom though. Her mom says no drinking, she says screw you. She goes out leaves her kids at home and when she comes home at 2 in the morning locks are changed! She goes off in her car crashes and now is parylized from the neck down! That was a lovely phone ... |
| Posted by Deejays at April 30, 2012 |
So I come home from university for the easter break, haven't seen my mom in a fair while and thought it'd be good... Turns out she's resorted to alcohol at some point since I've moved out and prefers hitting the bottle to anything else...
She's always had a bit of an issue with anger because of being beaten by her dad when she was a child but, lately it's been worse with regards to the alcohol...
When I came home for this easter break, she comes in after being out on the piss all day and starts giving me verbal abuse for no apparent reason, I tell her to go to bed, which is the worst thing I could do as she goes psycho!
Long story short, arguement erupted which ended up with her trying to strangle me and throwing heavy objects at my head (paperweights, ornaments etc..)as well as destroying the majority of the house...
I have to call the police, get her arrested (under the mental health act of whatever...) and I came back to university...
Before the police came she cut her wrists (not properly)... The thing is we're talking, but I can't trust her at all... I feel awkward talking to her, I don't know how to act? I would like a little closure on the whole thing, and I've brushed it off thinking it hasn't had an affect on me.. But it really has. So, what do I do..? How do I go on from here?
|
| Posted by anonymous at April 30, 2012 |
Ever since I started balding at 18 women are afraid of me. They fidget awkwardly around me as they move to cover up their boobs with whatever is available (I never even look down there), and refuse to make eye contact with me unless absolutely required. I've always been socially awkward and never have had a girlfriend, but now I can see that any chance at that is OOOOver. I could at least land a date and talk for 5 minutes before being rejected while on that date, but now I can't even get a girl to look in my general direction. I'm stuck rail thin and bald like steve jobs because my body doesn't properly absorb nutrients. When you're bald and rail thin at my age, it becomes the centerpiece of conversation wherever you go. There's nothing more humiliating than having to laugh off people's jokes about some of the most depressing parts of your life. The cancer patient jokes are the worst.
I've lost my job and can't even muster up the courage to do the things I enjoy like I used to. I used to be able to muster up the courage to at least enjoy life living alone, but after 28 years of just suffering I can't do it anymore. I can't kill myself because that would wreck the people I love, and I can't live happy. I am stuck in an endless no mans land. What the hell am I here for? |
| Posted by anonymous at April 30, 2012 |
I have no parents. I'm addicted to all kinds of drugs and I'm a lowlife fucking alcoholic. My bitch of a girlfriend took everything from me because that whore has to be perfect, and now that I've left her I barely have a fucking life anymore. I witnessed my own fucking mom dying, and I don't even give a flying fuck anymore. I'm at the lowest of the low in my life. For fucks sake all my friends have been driven away because I'm a fucking idiot. I'm no better than my asshole of a dad was. What the hell did I expect? To become a fucking lawyer? Yeah, right. I could never, will never, and can't accomplish any fucking goal I set for myself. I'm writing this in the final rage flash I have before I jump off the fucking building and finally get rid of all my fucking problems. What pisses me off more is the fucking idiots who think they have it so shitty. Try growing up without a mom and an abusive dad. I've been doing drugs since I was fucking 12. Because I have no fucking friends, I decided to let the people on this site who probably don't give a shit either know, GOOD FUCKING BYE. Fuck you, fuck me, fuck everything, I'm dying tomorrow. |
| Posted by J R at April 29, 2012 |
okay so im 18 and a virgin, ive never had a girlfriend or anything witch is pathetic atleast in my opinion but whatever. ive got this girl im good friends with and she sends me ridiculous mixed signals, one day she will hang out with me until midnight just talking to me in my car about random ass shit (alot of times sexual making me think shes a slut) and openly talks about sex to me like oh i love giving blow jobs and swallowing yet sometimes when i put my hand on her lap or say something suggestive she seems awkward and uneasy. i just can't fucking tell if she wants more then friendship out of me and i don't want to try making a move as we have been friends for over a year. she also talks to me about another guy she is currently hanging out with at like 3am and it is just obvious she is fucking him yet she says she is more into fuckbuddys right now so i feel like she might want me. i dont even know if i could take being just a fuckbuddy for her anyway i kind of want more but am just soo confused. what should i do because i also dont want to fuck up our current friendship. |
| Posted by poopenfriegen2036 at April 29, 2012 |
This site is useful because it helps you remember that everyone is going through difficult shit. But face it everyones life is hard and shitty. No one has a life they think is easy, even rich people. Everyone adjusts to their situation. People in Africa dying of AIDS would be happy to be in your shoes. How many of you are happy in real life but just exaggerate how bad things are here because it makes you feel better and you want pity? Everyone has problems. So tell me, how do other people perceive you? Do you think they know how depressed you are? Or do you think you hide it pretty well? |
| Posted by Amy, 23 y/o at April 29, 2012 |
I have been very upset with myself and my life for a long time, I chose a great career path and will be graduating with a degree in 4 months, but I really don't care for the job. I live with my parents and siblings but we rarely speak to each other. I've been acting out silently in ways those that know me would be shocked. I've secretly been finding men off websites and fucking them, no money or drugs involved, just liquor and sex. I can't stop myself. I've done this about 15 times in the last 5 months. I can't really say why- I'm lonely, bored, desperate for attention, mentally ill, not ready to begin my adult life? I don't know and most of the time don't really care. I'm hoping this is just a phase I'll forget about in the distant future, but when you think about how bad your life is, try and think about what I've done to myself, then you'll realize you're not that bad. |
| Posted by alice at April 29, 2012 |
My dad asked me the other day, "Why are you so sad?"
And I replied, quite honestly: "Because I hate my life."
He huffed and puffed and then walked away and yelled "So fix it!"
Seems logical. It's what I'd tell anybody else if they were feeling shitty about their situation, but applying that simple little suggestion to myself seems impossible.
I suppose I should start with fixing my physical body. I've been overweight since I was a child, and I know that when people look at me they have just as much disgust for the fat bulging over my pants and chubbing up my cheeks as I do.
So, what? An hour on the treadmill, diet pills, and the scarce (but manageable) healthy foods we have in this house?
I can try. I /will/ try because really - this body is mine and I can undo what I've already done.
Logical, understandable.
But how do you 'fix' two years of post-apocalyptic mental warfare that's left you utterly friendless and completely miserable? Let me clarify a bit.
I was a bratty teen. A raging hormonal bitch with a vengeance for society. 'I don't give a fuck' was my slogan and I wore it well. I think I was about sixteen when I just quit going to school. Instead I cultivated a tweaker pad on my front porch. My doorbell would ring about eight a.m. Most of us were drop outs but the kids who didn't want to go to class knew I had parents that worked and an open door. I'd let them file in one by one and out of my inner need to impress I... |
| Posted by Ye at April 29, 2012 |
I'm 21 yrs. old, gay, no job and still living off of my rents. Got dismissed from college due to some health issues and now i'm fucked up can't get a job anywhere with just my H.S diploma. In love with the guy living two houses from mine but doesn't seem to know i exist. He's straight so i know there's no chance he'll ever notice me. I've never had a bf before, fell for many guys but never got a chance to experience how it is to be loved and cared for. And maybe i never will. :c |
| Posted by anonymous at April 29, 2012 |
33 years old, addicted to drugs, no friends, always broke, and I live with my mother who is sick and an alcoholic. Was engaged, life started to get better, lived with her and she cheated on me several times. So I have nothing except and drug habit that I cannot get rid of. I have a horrible fecal impaction that I cannot get out. So it keeps me in constant pain. I went to the ER for it and they did nothing, treated me like a drug addict who was there for a fix, ha, imagine that. So when you complain about ohhh I am gay, nobody gets me... yeah right, there are tons of people like you. It could be way worse for you, you could be just like me........ |
| Posted by anonymous at April 29, 2012 |
Ya know... Had this really story to tell about how my life sucks but it got to long so I'm just gonna tell the main ideas...
My father died when I was around 9. Supposedly of suicide. I was young, confused. Didn't even cry at the funeral... I loved my father with all my heart..... I'm not going to go into how he did drugs and drank alcohol. Fast forward. I was popular in elementary school. But in middle school I was the exact opposite. I was quite, shy, and I kept to myself. I was talked about but I survived. In 8th grade I fell in love for the first time. I told him everything and we talked and texted all the time. Unfortunately, he was dating my friend. And its funny and sad because everyone knew I was in love with him even her. Before the end of the year they broke up. However, me and him never got together. He moved. And when I started talking to him again he was different. Gee broke my heart. So I developed abandonment issues because him and my father. Didn't trust anyone. I thought I could trust my best friend but she had changed too. There was a guy I liked and I told my friend this. But I knew that when they meet they would start to date. They met once and dated for 9 or 10 days. Heartbroken. But I got over him when I found out how many girls he had dated and dumped. 10th grade year I stated to get close to him again. He was dating someone on and off. I fell in love with him because I realized how much we had in common. He talked me into dating him. First kiss... |
|