LIFE SUCKS : Drinking

it all goes away

I love drinking. It's a way to get out of life. I been getting drunk like twice a week. Life sucks and is so unfair.

Life is so shitty I f*cked up bad.

So I'm 21. I got married when I was 18 because I thought he was the one... turns out he wasn't. Legally I'm still divorced 4 yrs later I don't have the money to divorce him and he wont pay for anything.

He put me in so much debt I had to file for bankruptcy. Since then I had a year relationship with someone else and it ended with him beating me up.

I don't know who I am... what I'm doing where to go I'm lost and a lone and I don't want to talk to anyone about it. I get so drunk almost every night I black out. I smoke weed and want to try other things... anything that will let me escape this shitty life.

I hate my job, I hate all the money I've wasted and nothing to show for it. I only have a few close friends who seem to have worse problems then me so I have no1 to talk to.

I just recently starting seeing someone new and he is so amazing and treats me so well, it kind of freaks me out. Maybe because I'm not use to having someone treat me good. I'm pushing him away though like I do with everyone.

I just want to die.

Lost

I dont know what to do anymore..... My life sucks.
First off let me say that im currently a 17 year old male, I live with my mother and stepfather(who is actually my uncle) ill come back to that in a minute. Anyways we are being evacuted come next week, third time this FUCKING YEAR!!! The reason for this is both my mother and step father/uncle are alcoholics. Every pay check my, " STEP DAD", gets they both go straight to the bar that same day. They drink all night long, which eventually ends with my mom getting into a fight with my step dad and getting her ass beat. She still has bruises from the last time.
My Step Father is a ex con who is in turn my uncle from my dads side. So my mother left my dad for my uncle. Sounds pretty white trashy dont it? Anyways i have moved from four different high schools in the last three years. Theres a reason for this, at my original school i was beaten to a pulp by four of my class mates on the football team. Look it up its true. I had a broomstick snapped over my side and fractured three of my ribs. But thats just were my problems start after being in the hospital for three weeks i comeback and the school says i received the injurys from football!!! i know right? Then i rumor gets started that i was sadomized by the broomstick. That leads to me fighting a lot more and being kicked out. Which before i was scared of fighting but i was so angry and deppressed i dont give a shit. So i move to another school. Same story, ev...

Long walk home

I was beaten up while walking home from a party because of my race. I left my vehicle at home because I knew I'd be drinking. While I was being beaten up (probably 15 minutes and we covered a distance on foot of about 250 metres) I sort of lost control of what was going on, and I don't remember it all. A carload of drunks stopped to help me, I freaked out and got in their car, and took off in it. I crashed it into a building. I don't remember any of this, but I do remember the jaws of life prying me out of the damn car and everything after, so obviously it happened. As it turns out, there was conveniently a person in the back of the damn thing, and she got hurt. I don't remember the car stopping, driving the car, or crashing it, so I obviously don't recall her being there when I got in.

I got charged with impaired driving causing bodily harm, over 0.08 and car theft over 5k.

The police wouldn't take my statement without agreeing not to use it against me, so the two guys that beat me up never got charged.

I was angry, and depressed about it all, and I started drinking a lot (I've since quit.) My wife left me.

Friends have abandoned me because of the embarrassment I've caused them in a town of 2300 that doesn't know what really happened. People have told me off in public, and the whole damn town seems to hate me. I've been shouted at across the grocery store dozens of times from the woman in the back of the car: And honestly, I can't blame her, I'd hate me too.

I'm fighting the charges like a dog, because I absolutely believe I am not a criminal, and will probably go broke with legal fees.

Two years later, and the trial is still more than two months off, and will likely be deferred again by the prosecution.