|Posted by josh at June 19, 2012|
First things first, I am 19 years old..Entry level discharged from the Marine Corps because of my hearing loss...All my life I wanted to be a Marine...in fact from the farthest I can remember I always did...all my friends looked up to me ...I made decent grades in high school...had lots of friends...i was in the delayed entry program all through my senior year in high school...passed all the requentrants at meps..I was sent to bootcamp..and then the shit hit the fan...the docs on parris island told me I had hearing loss...my dreams were literally crushed right in front of me..I still have nightmares of my DI's telling me that I am worthless...and I will never go anywhere in life..it's been 1 year since I was discharged...I tried joining other branches ...considerd college...but I'm stuck working at McDonald's...hearing aids won't make a difference...it's very hard to keep relationships..I feel like I'm going to be stuck at my sucky ass job for the rest of my life...I live every day hoping that one day I will find a better calling...a future...maybe even someone that I can love and make me forget about how shitty my life has become...my life sucks..
|Posted by sam at June 14, 2012|
it all depends where in the world and in which family you were born and raised.
I was born in iran with a wrong religion that muslim people hate. I couldn't get a govermental job, professional sport, nor finish high school. I was really good at soccer I asked my dad to put me in a soccer club but he always said i might get fingered or raped in the soccer club; i had to play on the streets and guess what i got raped and hurt on the streets; in a game someone tackled me on purpose because he knew i am bahai so my sciatica got hurt and now i can barely walk and whenever i work my veins pops out from my leg and hurts really bad that i can scream. DR says i shouldn't be doing any activity that involves using legs.
I came to usa as a refugee i lived in veinna first for 8 month with 4 other family in one unit one kitchen one bathroom it wasn't bad but when i came to usa i got more depressed No freinds nor family crying for hours and days no result I tried to go take college classes I was acing the science classes but my essay writing sucked so bad that i could'nt pass english 202 and i got stuck, right now i live with parents i am 30 working as a cashier 6 days a week sometimes 7 days I absolutely hate my life i recently had to pay $15000 for my teeth problems, whatever i make goes for my dr visit and teeth surgeries I never had a girl friend
because i have impotency issue when i first came to usa i was lonely so i had to masturbate to an orange and it got my penis messed up anyway No girls now would date me because of that issue that i caused my self because of depression and being shy those days i regretted, I wish my life would fast forward to a happy moment and then i could die but i don;t think that is posible :( fuck this life
|Posted by anonymous at May 16, 2012|
When the recession started my parents lost our house and all of our money that they had. Now the three of us live in a small apartment, and my parents never went to college so they have crap jobs. We used to be able to have fun and do whatever we wanted, now it's like a miracle if we even go to the movies. As for me I can't get a job. I've applied to almost everywhere in the small town we live in, but no one's interested. I had to stop going to college, because of my parents inability to pay, but I can't qualify for financial aid because my parents make "too much". We have a lot of medical bills, because my parents are older and have major health problems. And I'm not a single parent, military, or a minority, so there's no scholarship potential either. I have no luck with dating, and since I'm no longer "rich" or whatever like before, all of my friends disappeared, because I can't pay for all of them anymore. I've gained about 55 pounds since high school ended two years ago, and I yo-yo weight all the time due to past anorexia-type eating problems which have probably killed my metabolism. I never wanted to be anorexic, but I had chronic stomachaches growing up, so I couldn't eat without feeling like I was gonna die. And everything is pretty much going downhill with my parents, and it always seems to go from bad to awful. So yeah that's pretty much my life...sucking.
|Posted by anonymous at April 20, 2012|
In 2004 My me(7),mum,big sister (10) moved to England from Africa,leaving behind my dad ,little brother (4) and little sister (2) behind.In that same year around Christmas my mum gets told that my sister and brother are hospitalized because of a crazy fire at my grandmothers house.I never really cried because I hadn't understood the situation much.
My mum immediately left to Africa,leaving me and my big sis waiting for answers.I was then told my sister had died and my brother was left with severe scars on this head and hands.He and my mum left to England,My dad stayed to work.But due to curiosity I came across a picture of my deceased little sister fighting for her life in hospital with her stomach opened up.I had nightmares.
I 2005-2008 I lived an awesome life I even found my fated best friend.Things couldn't get any better..until mum started threatening me that she'd make me move back to Africa if I didn't do this and that.I for one honestly am not scared of threats but Africa I hate! Africa!! My mum knows too.She doesn't know Im scared of the place now everything about that place scares me especially the country I lived in..Botswana I hate that place.We went there to visit every holiday and mum would kid about telling me I'd stay there for-ever.I never like visiting.
When I got into high school my mum started beating me with a belt,stick,shoe anything that hurts.I'm so used to it the pain..I don't feel it anymore.I wish I could die just t...
|Posted by anonymous at March 16, 2012|
My family moved to a different country. A spanish speaking country. I've been speaking spanish my entire life, but my vocabulary isn't that big. I had the option to stay in the United States for a while longer, but I didnt want to leave my family suffering by themselves. Im the youngest in the family. I was in high school before I moved. The thing is...I moved in the middle of the school year. Now that Im here, no school wants to accept me because its half way through the school year. Theres a public school option, but no one in my family wants me to go because of the danger. Im the social type, I really am. I had tons of friends before I moved. Im scared to speak to people here though. Im scared that I'll get tongue tied(which I always do) and be embarassed. I try to speak it, but I even have trouble communicating with some of my other family that lives here. Since Im not going to school, Im not meeting anyone thats my age. Theres no hang out place that I can go to to meet people. I dont know what to do. I want friends and I want someone to talk to besides my family. I have cousins, but none of them are really around my age. My two female cousins are 20 and 25. My sister is 26. My brothers are 29 and 31 and my two younger cousins are 2 and 5. I try to talk to my friends back home, but it seems like they dont want to talk to me. They dont care about me anymore. They're living their lives normally while Im in a different continent considering suicide. And none of them care. I thought they were my bestest of friends. I had known them all for a long time. And it hurts that the dont call or ask me how Im doing through facebook. It makes me feel like they never cared at all. Theres nothing I want to do more than to go back, but now that Im here...I know I cant...what can I do? Is there even anything I can do? I dont want to take my life away. I really dont, but sometimes it seems like the better option.
|Posted by anonymous at March 3, 2012|
In 1995 I was born to a mentally disabled women by the name of Rita. She was raped. Ever since then I've been bouncing around from relative to relative, all of whom don't want anything to do with me. My poor mother died last week.
I cannot even begin to describe the sadness I feel. My mother – the only person who ever truly loved me – went through literal hell, her child forcibly taken away from her because of something she had no control over.
Why would any man abuse a woman such as she? A woman with a mind of a child and a heart of an angel. I am ashamed to call myself human. I see nothing good about our species. Nothing.
I wish I could just die. Leave this world and be with my mother.
|Posted by anonymous at February 2, 2012|
My life sucks because I'm living in Kansas with no means to move. I've been stuck here since 2005. I don't belong here. I wish a tornado would rip through here and take me to fucking Oz, wipe out the Westboro Baptist Church and all of Johnson county and the wealthy conservative fucks who live here (I do okay but I'm in that lower half of the middle class that gets screwed hard). I didn't even want to come here in the first place, but my ex-husband got a job here and so here we are. The sprawl of Kansas City is unbelieveable. Nothing but McMansions and strip malls as far as the eye can see. All the damn suburbabn twatwaffles with their douchestache husbands and their 2.4 bratty children...I don't belong here and I can't escape. It's like living in a bad dream. All my friends live somewhere else. I hate the weather. I hate the drivers. I hate the state government. Sam Brownback really does blow. I'm an extreme lefty who belongs up in Portland or British Columbia, but no. I'm in Kansas. I personally used to be pretty okay, but I'm losing my mind living here. It's literally turning me crazy - I was diagnosed as bipolar 1 recently (no sign of it in my life until I moved here) and also have PTSD from nearly being killed in a car wreck on a perfectly normal street here. I used to be pretty well adjusted and happy, but not anymore. I HAVE to get out of here. People still argue about evolution for chrissakes. There are so many churches and if you don't go to one (I'm an atheist) you're shunned. I hate the guns. I hate the flatness. I hate the highways. There aren't enough psych meds or therapists in the entire world to mitigate how crazy this place is making me. I hate Missouri too for whatever that's worth. I don't know if I can stand it much longer.
|Posted by No at January 16, 2012|
I really hate my life right now.
I am an illegal immigrant, but not by choice. I am not Mexican but I came on an airplane with my parents and my sister. They wanted to give me a better education. We did apply for citizenship but was rejected because we weren't poor enough. My dad only has a citizenship. The rest of us nothing. Mom and dad decided that we should at least finish college here and go back home. I'm a sophomore now and doing very well in school. Band, cross country, class ranking number one freshman year and all ib classes. I aim for northwestern university. But cause we don't have a citizenship we cannot do one damn thing. My sister wants to drive so bad but she can't. She is a senior and all her friends ask why not but we can't say. We can't travel. I haven't seen any of my other family members in years. And my sister is stressed because she might not go to the college she wants cause she is not a citizen. But I am being adopted now so I could become a citizen. Before you judge, I support America and don't just tell me to get out and reapply for citizenship the right way because it will take years and I won't even be able to go back to my country since I don't really know the language. Since I'm being adopted, I had to move to a new house new family ad new people new state. I hate this. My adoptive family is just uncomfortable to be with. Making new friends is a challenge. I can't see my parents anymore and Im just so miserable right now.
|Posted by Bvb at December 21, 2011|
I used to have a nice family, but then everything got destroyed. I used to live in Germany, now I live in a pile of shit; Pakistan. All the bullshit in this country, the illiteracy, the hostile people, are now haunting me. Everyday my parents have a major fight and I am the one who tries to keep them happy and content. I also fear that my father is an extremist, and that he will kick me out of the house if I don't obey him. My father's salary has decreased by three quarters and it is because of his religious obligations. I constantly feel like committing suicide, my sister already attempted it once, but I saved her. I am 17 and still have not been to any party, and am still a virgin. My father even tries to keep me away from my only enjoyment which is football and girls. Even though I am brilliant in academics, my father and my mother fail to appreciate me and tell me I'm stupid. My father calls me a piece of shit. I ran away from home once, but realised it isn't safe in this country.
|Posted by anonymous at December 13, 2011|
It sucks being the ugly one in the family who inherits all the crappy genes (crappy metabolism, gaping pores, butt like spongebob, eyes too close together so I actually resemble that squid from spongebob, arms like a gorilla). And I'm a 22 y/o female stuck living in an area filled with hot, gorgeous imported girls who wear Chanel make up and bebe clothes. Thanks to my low self esteem I ended up with a guy who is no good for me. He used to be physically abusive and now is only emotionally abusive. He is controlling and it feels horrid to be treated like shit and the only way to calm myself down is to hit myself over the head repeatedly because it calms me down. I want to leave but before I can I need to finish school. Our relationship has gotten better since he works nights and I'm at school all morning. We also have a baby together who has not witnessed how awful our relationship is and who I plan on taking and running as soon as I graduate. Anyways back to my hideousness.... I think my ugliness held me back in life. As soon as some loser high school dropout asked me out when I was a teenager I jumped at the chance because no guy ever even had an interest in me. What sucks is even that guy has never called me beautiful. He has gawked at all those beautiful girls in their stilletos shopping for lettuce and whenever we go out he is always looking at them. Before we started dating he would comment on how gorgeous a girl was or whenever we watched movies he would gush over h...
|Posted by Doblado at December 7, 2011|
I'm only sixteen and for the most part Ive had a great life. But not at the moment. I know the beginning of my story may seem not bad at all, but keep reading. A few months ago my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me and I still love her. At the same time my parents began routinely fighting and are now getting a divorce. While this was happening, the biggest role model and best friend I have in life, my brother, became addicted to heroine. Eventually he was put in treatment but recently relapsed and got a DUI while at it. My family that used to be so happy is falling apart. My best friend outside of my family tells me that he considers killing himself everyday and is thinking up new ways to do it. This puts me in a hard position and I can't persuade him to get help. My other friend Dev died last week in a car accident. My nest closest friend Brian, was diagnosed with cancer in his rectum a few days ago. I try my hardest to cry but i can't even force myself. All my emotions are inside me but i have no way to get them out. I thinking I am becoming depressed and drugs have become more appealing. My life is pretty fucked up at this point.
|Posted by anonymous at November 11, 2011|
My parent and I went to the US on a tourist visa when I was 12. My parents ended up staying and working. I started going to school and felt like an outcast and out of place. I didnt speak english, therefore I didnt talk to anyone in school, I just sat there with my head down. My parents didnt have much money at the time, so I was wearing cheap clothes, and I could hear how others would talk about how poor and weird I am. I had zero confidence, zero motivation to do good in school, and no friends, I was bullied and made fun of. Finally I meet someone in one of my classes, we later became very good friends. He was the only person I actually spoke to in middle school. After school I sat at home all day and played runescape that was for 2 years in middle school, then came high school. 9-10th grade I was like a ghost in school, nobody knew I even existed, i and developed bad acne...and that guy I meet in middle school didnt want introduce me to his friends he hung out with, because i guess he was embarrassed to know me, again i played runescape to kill time, I was depressed and felt like a total loser, while everyone was partying, dating, having fun, I was at home all day everyday. In 11th grade I decided to change that, I went to the gym, I started talking to everyone, asking questions in class, and got noticed. I got my driver license and started hanging out with my new friends, everything changed to better, i got my first kiss, first gf, got laid, I felt great, finally i...
|Posted by anonymous at November 3, 2011|
well i was raised in a christian home my mom and dad always loved me but then a few years back my dad passed away and its all been down hill from their my dad was a vet so we got social security but when he died in was subtracted by alot but i kept going on figured things would work out went to a new school made some new friends things where starting to look up when my moms car got reposed not as big i know but i have a point we got a new car i bounced back things where looking up again and thts where i am now just found out today the company where my mom works is going bankrupt now well have to live on next to nothing im not mad bad things happen im mad nothing right ever does i try to be a good kid but no matter what it always ends with my life goin back down the drain i know i may sound whiney and i probly am im just confused with no one to have my back
|Posted by puck1965 at October 24, 2011|
I am despondent. I cannot save or protect my wife of 21 years from some unknown, unnamed medical problem. She's been ill for 3+ years. She had an abdominal ultrasound today. They found something, but haven't told us what yet. I don't know if she is dying or will recover. No one seems to know. The only constant is that she is in pain daily.
I am powerless.
My 18 year old special needs child is being accused of harassment by a 17 year old special needs child and her mother, who also has some type of anxiety disorder. It has progressed to legal action on the part of the mother. I have no idea how to fix this. I am powerless to protect my son, who (according to corroborated sources within the school administration) has done nothing wrong.'
He doesn't understand; nor do I.
I am powerless.
The gentleman who has sat next to me at work for the past 5 1/2 years and who has functioned as a mentor for me died today.
All this (and MORE!!!) happened in the past five days. I am lost. I am powerless.
|Posted by Humanoid at October 14, 2011|
i feel so empty so depressed all the time.. im praying to god everyday for a better life but nothing from that.. one month ago my dog was poisoned and died.. it changed my whole life it was only 4 months old and i took the blame because i took it for a walk and it swallowed something got poisoned and died.. 2 weeks ago my grandma died of cancer it broke my heart i never knew what its like to lose somebody you love but now i know and it feels horrible i just cant believe that shes really gone i feel terrible watching my dad and grandfather wearing black clothes it tears me apart.. my mom is not feeling okay today her blood pressure has never been this low.. im writing this with my eyes full of tears and im so scared that i can lose someone else i love again.. i cant take this anymore im just 17 and i know that life goes on but i just cant forget the things that happened in the past.. im so freakin scared of everything.. god please help me and my family!
|Posted by anonymous at September 30, 2011|
Hello im only 23 and in the last year my life really went downside...imagine this, about 2 years ago i was in 2nd year of collage, was doing ok with money and stuff was in a good relationship, basicaly had no worries and i was really optimistic about life and the path i was on. Last year on 22 Oct my dad died then things started to go downfall, i was depressed and couldnt take my exams so i missed a year from collage, my dad left me some money so i started a small business cause i need a income...my school is expensive + all other bills needs to be payed. I pay rent now, bills and thats pretty much it, my business is not going anywhere and every day i see how i fall a little more while the money my dad left me are almost over. I cant afford to go back to school cause its to expensive [i am a student at programming enginnering, better say was :( ] So 2 years ago i was dreaming of becoming a programmer, get a nice job and figure things out one step at a time but life kiked me in the head and my only option now is to close my business, get a job that requires only a highschool degree and on top of that i cant finish my collage. Its so unfair, got so many problems...dont know what to do srsly.
So for all of you that read this, thank God or whoever you belive in, or not, that life got you in one problme at a time, it didnt give you a taste of acomplishment and then take all you got while u witness your own downfall and you cant do nothing about it :(
Dont worry im not emotionaly disturbed, i wont kill myself or do something stupid like rob a bank but except trying to survive while these "best years of my life" pass me i cant do anything else. I really dont care if my life will turn better when im 40 -50 years old its to late then...
|Posted by anonymous at September 29, 2011|
so my father dies when im only 10 months old. my mother decides she wants to move to the united states. we do on a 3 month visa. i was only 1 year old at the time. we go to newyork. my mother is barely 21 and decides she'd rather enjoy her 20's than stick by her son and be a good mother. im left to be raised by my grandmother and whatever babysitter they can afford to put the burden of my life upon. fast forward 15 years and we live in georgia now. mother is now an overprotective jesus freak. i cant get a job because my visa ran out 14 years ago and am considered "ineligible to work in the united states". That means no drivers license either. Stranded at home and BEGGING for rides from friends when they can spare one at their goddamn convinience. im a very independant person and having to rely on others causes me alot of frustration, stress, and anxiety. i turn 16, puberty hits and my face breaks out like a ticking time bomb. mom had the same in her teens, so geneticaly im fucked. puberty+stress+shitty genes+being to fucking poor to see a doctor+mother not caring enough to provide as much as a little knowledge or support+poor mans diet=total face fuck. i mean these werent just pimples, but deep rooted, puss filled balls from fucking hell. even without picking at them they managed to fuck me up completely. im 20 now and have horrble scars all over my face. i cant even go outside without people GAWKING at me. peoples faces are what greets the world, its what people remembe...
|Posted by anonymous at September 12, 2011|
I am an International college student in US now. Because my parents had applied green card for me, and the application was rejected in early 2010, and both of them went back to my home country leaving me alone in States. I can't leave the States for home, and have to keep continuing being enrolled in college even if I felt that I am often stuck by serious OCD, even depression sometimes. I felt so lonely now, because for me it's difficult to make friends here because the cultural differences, and also I felt so confused about my future and felt that there's no hope. I wish I can lead an ordinary life just like other students in my college, or like my high school classmates, but I guess it's just impossible. Things just happen, and I guess the best way is to accept that this is your life, and you should deal with it, and wait until the day that everything becomes better.
|Posted by anonymous at September 12, 2011|
I'm Elena and I'm 14. I'm actually from Romania, a shitty country of Europe, but 3 months ago, I moved to Italy with my mom.
I left everything behind, my friends, my life, my home. EVERYTHING!
And today was my first day of school here. They are all so cold, and racists, I don't know how I'm gonna' make it throuh the year.
It's pretty hard to speak and learn in another language, and it's not like I'm fluent in italian.
I have no friends here, except for my boyfriend who is also romanian but he lives in another town so it's not like he can be here for me when I need him, and stuffs like that.
I know it sounds pretty lame, but in reality it's hard...
I miss everything.
You know, before I left Romania, I looked back, and I said to myself that it's going to be much better, and I left. I just left. My father is still in Romania, cause my parents are kinda divorced, and my mother has a boyfriend here; and every single person who really mattered in my life, is there. They are all home.
In fact, home is a word that I can't spell anymore. I'm just in a place that my mom likes to home call , but I can't.
I'm all alone. I have nobody. No friends, no nothing. And all I can do is to cry myself to sleep, get up, realise that every morning is a mistake, put a mask and a fake smile on my face, make it through the day, and repeat.
I'm not sure how long I can do this.
I used to make plans, to have dreams, but everything is gone. It's like I'm dead. I can't imagine my future, I don't even want one.
I'm not sure if there are persons who will understand me but... I just needed to talk to somebody.
|Posted by CQ at August 27, 2011|
I am 30 years old.I had a dead end job ..got fired and cannot find work.i have seen one of my best friends get shot and killed by my other good friend on accident.my BEST friend just died at 28 back in april...my step dad which was like a father to me died cuz of drugs.i was engaged for 3 years she got pregnant and the baby ended up not being mine.i have anxiety issues so bad if i don't take my meds i feel like i am having a heart attack.I just wanted to post on this cuz alot of people have it rough and maybe i can relate to alot of these posts.i also got into coke really bad after my step dad died..luckily i been clean for 7 years...that is really one of the good things about my life..that and i have a supportive mother that lets me stay at her house cuz i can't find a job to save my life.Things usually get better in time for most people but i'm waiting for my life to get back on track..when i was 17 i had a full time job..a good job and had an app...now i am 30 no job living at home..i don't know just thought i'd share