LIFE SUCKS

I'm sick of everything

Well, hello.
I'm Elena and I'm 14. I'm actually from Romania, a shitty country of Europe, but 3 months ago, I moved to Italy with my mom.
I left everything behind, my friends, my life, my home. EVERYTHING!
And today was my first day of school here. They are all so cold, and racists, I don't know how I'm gonna' make it throuh the year.
It's pretty hard to speak and learn in another language, and it's not like I'm fluent in italian.
I have no friends here, except for my boyfriend who is also romanian but he lives in another town so it's not like he can be here for me when I need him, and stuffs like that.
I know it sounds pretty lame, but in reality it's hard...
I miss everything.
You know, before I left Romania, I looked back, and I said to myself that it's going to be much better, and I left. I just left. My father is still in Romania, cause my parents are kinda divorced, and my mother has a boyfriend here; and every single person who really mattered in my life, is there. They are all home.
In fact, home is a word that I can't spell anymore. I'm just in a place that my mom likes to home call , but I can't.
I'm all alone. I have nobody. No friends, no nothing. And all I can do is to cry myself to sleep, get up, realise that every morning is a mistake, put a mask and a fake smile on my face, make it through the day, and repeat.
I'm not sure how long I can do this.
I used to make plans, to have dreams, but everything is gone. It's like I'm dead. I can't imagine my future, I don't even want one.
I'm not sure if there are persons who will understand me but... I just needed to talk to somebody.