As much as my life is sucks it is an interesting life to live.I am the end product of match-making and inter-racial marriage,and both my parents are of mix parentage too and grown up from a different country and different lifestyle.Both of my parents came from a parents that have a multiple marriages, hence was not brought with proper parents and lacked of love. I am mixed with four different races, but my parents had make a big mistake in choosing one race and a religion for me,written in my birth certificate, as to follow the rule of the country,where they both met and got married.My life was a disaster in trying to be the race that appear in my ID, which was not even the race of my parents.It sucks to live in a country that demand to prove your identity with a race and religion and it is more sucks that I have no power to object to it as I was a baby.I was a confused child as my parents fought alot, my fucking mother started to humiliate my father races, and they lives seperate life,my father go back to his original country,I have to grow up in a two different country with a different lifestyles.I hate to be with my fucking mother as she had abused me alot,especially when she nagging and ranting like a mad woman, forcing me to devot to the religion that she had chosen for me.Unlike my father,he doesn't live based on any religion,his life was just to live and work hard to survive, and at the same time to appreciate and respect nature,as nature in return will be kind to us.Father hard earned money able him to buy a big house overlooking an ocean,he had a plantation,being at father's place is like being in heaven.But I have to go back to my hell mother because I am tied down with school and studies.My fucking mother was not an appreciative person, as father gave her a house and child support allowance every month,she does not even love father.The more I said I love my father,she abused me, and said she never wanted me in the first place,and she accused me as the badluck child that had brought upon the bad luck in her life.Apparently father was diagnosed with brain tumor,mother showed a poker face in treating father until the day he left me forever.To run away from mother,I met with a guy, whom I thought had a similarity of growing up with an abused family.He told me all the sad story that his family didnot loves him,he had been living with a friend. I had noticed he had a tattoo, take drugs and drink alcohol to drive his problems away, but will stop all this for me.When he ask me to marry him, I thought of that I will not be bothered by my fucking mother anymore,that I said yes.He was so happy that he wanted his family to share with him that he brought me to meet his family for the first time.Quite shocked that the parents doesn't look like an abuser but the family was so into religion,but who cares and I thought he dont give a damn.We had the same religion and married under the law of our religion, which I don't even want to take note,let alone to be bothered by it.I had noticed thou,that his family was not to please in having me as part of their family as I am not religious. I had brought up this issue about his family do not like me,and he said that dont worry he will always love me and was I so wronged.Right after first year of marriage, his mother keeps calling him and talk a lot to him,it seems like his mother was like teaching him how to be the man in the house and religious too.He was being brainwashed by his fucking mother, he started to raised his voice even if the food that I cooked was not to his liking.I got fucked up that every weekend had to be a visit to his fucking family religious feast,and if I refused to go,we end up with a heated argument, and he started to shout and scream that I have to listen to him under the name of his fucking religious god. I thought that I can just get by,by his mad rowdy behaviour,little that I know that he started to resort to beating me and still claimed in the name of the religion,that he has every rigt to beat me because of not adhering to his demand.I was punched in the face,thrown a metal ladle at,which luckly it missed,numerous hurtful words,which humiliate me and vulgarities.At the time I was enduring all this madness, I already had a beautiful baby boy and a girl,whom I love so dearly.By looking at my babies faces, would encourage me to be strong and I promised myself I will raised them with no obligation of any religion.But I always cry to sleep as I recalled that I had love once but now is gone under the name of a religion. |
The arrivals
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