LIFE SUCKS : Death

Tragic Event Ruined my Life

When my son was murdered my whole life fell apart. My mind has been so messed up I can't keep a job must less find one. I isolate from everyone and at the same time I am lonely. I hate my life. Since I was fired from my last job things went from bad to worse. My utilities are being turned off and I am losing my house along with my mind. So many bad things have happened lately and the pain is becoming unbearable and all I want to do is die. I wrote this letter tonight to the person who killed my son. No one was ever arrested and now it is a cold case. I would like to share my letter.

Murderer

You are the lowest piece of scum on earth. You only think of yourself and you are very selfish and evil. As a matter of fact you should not have the pleasure of awakening to another day, seeing the sun rise or seeing your first child being born. I wish I could take that away from you and all you love because you don't deserve it. Instead everyday should bring you misery and pain because that is what you did to me the day you brutally murdered my son.

I know you have not been caught yet but I know who you are and how I would love to torture you to death. I have been tortured everyday since you murdered my son. I hate you and everything you love. The hatred is deep in my soul. You did not just kill my son, you hurt everyone who loved him. I could not and never will forgive you. See, you stole my life that day and I blame every horrible thing that has happen...

It all went downhill fast right at 6 yrs old...

Two months before my seventh birthday my mom died in front of me. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life.

I am an only child, never met my father and I don't have a close nit family. I don't have a close friend to turn to or a boyfriend either. I'm truly alone. That's what makes life even harder to live. When you look around and realize that no one is there. That has to be the second most painful feeling in the world.

I'm 25 yrs old now and I have found that time does not heal all wounds. My heart aches as much today as it did 19 yrs ago. I'm honestly don't know why I haven't taken my own life.

hate where i am at the moment

I had the perfect life 2 growen up children both with good jobs one a doctor the other an officer in the navy, a wonderfull husband a loving mum and dad i was doing a nursing degree .then bang my husband who was 55 died of a heart attack the day of his funeral ny mum took ill was in and out of hospital for a year i was the only family membre who lived close to my parents so whilst greving for my husband i had a very sick mun to look after and elderly father to support and try to study for my degree mum died a year after my husband 3 weeks after mum died dad took ill and died 6 months later. some how i managed to get my degree but cant get a job. i have a geanetic illness and at the moment cant for some reason get my medication i feel like shite all my friends think i am copping well i cant tell them the truth i an so depressed and lonely it is hard for me to get out of bed i put on a happy face to the world but some days i feel so alone i want to end my life

So...you think YOUR life sucks? Read just ONE of MY stories & then MAYBE youll be GRATEFUL for your "shitty life".

Hello...My name is Bex. Im from Minnesota & im 30. Here goes: U think your life sucks, well read some of MY misfortunes & maybe youll be a little more appreciative of your own life. #1: my grandpa dies. #2. two months later my DAD dies (9 months ago) & i had to sit DAILY & slowly watch him die before me. Then i had to cremate him, his urn now sits in my home. #3: add a crippling drug addiction to the mix, which everyone shuns you for, even though youre only human. #4: have a sick mother you care for on a daily basis & cry yourself to sleep every fucking night cuz youre afraid youre gonna lose her next AND find out ur 27yr old brother is going to die because of HIS drug addiction that caused an irreversible condition (talk shit & i SWEAR ill hurt you) . #5: carry the weight of your ex beating & raping you into your next relationship to the point where its ruined so much of what youve built together that its no longer fixable. #6: become agoraphobic because you suffer from chronic pain to the point where it hurts to even itch your own skin, & cuz of that pain u have no friends & never make plans or leave ur apartment. i lost my friends over this & the fact that i developed a drug addiction from having to be medicated for my chronic pain. #7: add depression & panic disorder AND losing 8 people in 4yrs to said addiction & tell me ur addiction & pain wouldnt get worse over time. LOOK, i know some have it worse than i do BUT dont come here & bitch & moan about how ur roomate ma...

Just another story

I am 25 years old, I have nobody except me and one of my kids. My first four kids got taken away because I got in trouble and went ot prison for saling drugs. Both of my parents died before I turned 18, my dad when I was eleven from a car accident, and my mom when I was 17 from cancer. I was on life support for two weeks when I had my first child, because my lungs collapsed. I was in a five year relationship with a guy who was killed by a motocycle four years ago, then I was with another in which I have to kids who is in prison for 13 years for being a child molester.But I have since then met a really good guy, hope things can get better now.

Can't catch a break

My dad, my best friend. 67 lost his life to leukemia. i struggled with him side by side for 4 years. his life was miserable. just to turn around and lose the battle.... i haven't been the same since. I don't know what to do. and a couple months before that i broke up with my gf of 5 years... so my life has been completely flipped upside down. the stress, anger, pain, emotions are so overwhelming, and then having to live day to day and fake everything is ok. just to come home and drink my pain away. im stuck in a rut. and when i finally think i found something to help me through my struggles.... a new g/f. i adore her, and want to treat her like gold.. but she has a lot of "guys" that are friends, and its causing a lot of issues. im not a jelous guy but some things she is saying isnt adding up. anyway, i can't really complain. i have my health, friends, a roof over my head. i feel bad complaining but i feel everyone has their own demons to deal with. watching my dad gasp his last breath, and i hugged his neck, was by far.. the worst day of my entire life. he was afraid to die, and that struck a chord with me. it bothers me everyday knowing he was scared when he left this world.....

I miss my dad.

It's hard for me to talk about this right now, but I am sixteen and my forty year old father died suddenly of a heart attack on Dec. 23, 2011. I don't know what to do with myself anymore..I'm depressed and hurt and confused and I just want my daddy back. He was my best friend, and just going on with life is a struggle everyday. The night before it happened I was talking and laughing with him like usual, and the next day I get picked up from school, brought to the hospital, and told he had died. Just like that- no goodbyes, nothing. Now I'm filled with sadness and regret, and I can only think of all the things my daddy wanted to do but can't. I just..miss him. More than anything i want him back. I would give anything..

I lost my wife suddenly

All at once and with no warning. I had been out of town the week before, was a planned business trip. Somewhat rare for me to be gone for that length of time. Many weeks before we had planned to see a musician we both liked on the evening I returned. We did and stayed out much later than an old (21 years) married couple like us usually did.

We got home about 2AM and I very shortly went to bed, she stayed up a while. I woke much later than usual, never forget the time, it was 10:10 AM when I got up and went to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. I found her on the kitchen floor, on her side, with a hand under her head like a pillow. I thought she had not made it to the couch or bed. I chided her verbally and actually chuckled at where she was sleeping as she had fallen asleep at the kitchen table before. But she wasn't asleep. Her body was cold to the touch and after that first touch I knew shew was gone. I cannot describe the next few moments. There are NO words for that.

That marked the end of 'normal' for me, the 27th day of August, 2011.

Today, the shock is gone, and I'm starting to realize what it means to have suffered a traumatic amputation of a part of your soul. You don't recognize yourself. You thought you knew what loneliness was. You realize just how much of your life was tied to being part of a couple, a 'half', and perhaps not the better one of that.

I fail at describing how much I miss that girl, the mother of our child, my confidant, my conscience, my anchor to this world.

So, help me tell Lesa how very much I miss her, every single day. Her compassion for others, her creativity, her never ending patience with her unreformed male example of a husband.

I don't want you to be sorry for me. I do want you to grieve for a world that no longer has that woman in it. It truly is a meaner place for the lack. Of that, I have no doubts.

i miss my baby

I was searching on the net about relieving the pain of a loss baby then i got on this site. i'm 17 years old... when i was 16, i got pregnant. i was happy. yes, true, i'm very happy. honestly, it's the happiest thing that ever happen to me.. i love my baby so much and my boyfriend too, he's very supportive of me being pregnant. we've already discuss about baby names. but when my parents knew, i thought they will support me. but no, they didn't. they killed my baby. they let me take medicines on force. of course, what can i do? i'm so small compare to them. i tried a lot of times to hid the medicines under my tongue and just spit it when they won't see me. i can feel it very bitter but i sacrifice for it. but, they caught me doing it and so the next time they let me take medicine they had been so sure that i swallowed it. then, they made many ways for me to be parted with my boyfriend. and then, they won. my baby died 2 months in my stomach. my family is very heartless. they never feel pity on me and my baby.
until now, 7 months had pass, i still can't accept my baby died. i miss my baby everyday. since he/she died, i never found true happiness. everyday i cried. supposed to be this month i will give birth to my baby. and it made me so sad thinking i haven't done anything to help my baby. if only i had been strong enough maybe it's alive until now. i didn't even know if it's a girl or a boy. i keep on blaming myself that's why a lot of times i committed suicide.but, i...

Sophia

I lost my baby. Nine months of berfect pregnancy, and just before labour, she wasn`t moving inside me anymore. No one knows why, it just happened. And i still had to go through all the labour pain and the labour, for nothing. And now i`m scared shitless, will i be able to have another baby, will it be ok. But nothing really matters, i lost MY BABY. I lost Sophia...

MY dad died when i was four. My mom raised me the best she could but was working most of the time to try and give me and my brother a good life. I got fat with no one ever telling me (as a young child) waht lack of exercise and bad diet would do to me. now everyone i love just kind of tolerates me because theyfeel bad for the fat kid that no one likes. then my mom died when i was 14. now i found a girl that is exactly like me. same interests, hobbies, everything, but she doesn't let me get close to her and just kind of tolerates me like everyone else. she's so damn pretty and nice... i just want to spend time with her, i honestly don't want anything other than to be around her, but for some reason she won't grant me that.. :( i really hate myself and don't enjoy much about life. it sucks. it's hard. and no one ever fucking helps. fml.

Why 2011

This year has been the worst at the beginning if this year I lost my son when he was only six days old turns out a nurse over fed him and burst his intestines, a few months later I lost my mother in law from an accidental overdose my husband went crazy with grief and we had to move in with his grandfather cause we lost our house. A few more months went by and everything started looking up and I started getting sick all the time I was in and out if the hospital from my heart messing up and I was fainting from any amount of stress. I was fired from my jib of two years so they could replace me with my managers neice...... its now Christmas and it sucks even worst I miss my son and everyone keeps sending me shit about babies and happy this and happy that screw it all

My only son committed suicide Oct.31,1999 - My darling wife of 43 years did the same on May 10,2010. I have a daughter 42 that seems to blame me for their deaths and will have nothing to do with me.
My son had a wife and 5 children when he took his life after losing his job, his home, and his wife to divorce.
My wife fell, broke her back, and couldn't get the doctors to believe just how much pain she was suffering, and took her life when I was away buying groceries.
I am 69 years old, living all alone in a huge house with nothing but my darling wife's little chihuahua and my memories of when I was a family man.
They are wonderful memories and they are all that I have to live for now.
Each day is nothing but a consistant repitition of previous days,television, playing with the chihuahua,checking for mail that never comes,paying a phone bill for a phone that never rings,and talking to my departed wife as if she was still here with me. Life for me is a heavy weight around my shoulders that gets heavier with each passing day. I bought a .45 caliber handgun and keep it for the day that all this finally gets to me. If it is true that there is life after death, I long to be with my dear sweet wife again forever and always.

my life feels like its over

My life feels like it's over. My creative, funny, kind, smart and sensitive son took his own life in May, a day after his 20th birthday. I need to tell anyone that is contemplating suicide: please seek help. please talk to your loved ones/Mom, etc. My heart, and so many others are broken. We "survivors", if you can call it that, are in shock, feeling the most incredible despair, and asking ourselves every day " what did I miss", "how did I fail him", and thinking that we must have fucked up royally for this to be. It's easy and tempting to blame one another-more hurt! I am so depressed and have so little left, that I can't pick up the phone when a friend or family member calls. I have trouble interacting with my husband or anyone, my despair runs so deep. So on top of losing the love of my life, my son, I'm losing everyone else as well. I beat myself up for missing signs. I retrace every f'ing step I ever took as a parent. I feel like my whole life must have been a fucking lie that I told myself, because I had though I was a good mother and had a happy and well adjusted son, who wouldn't call me back b/c he was knee deep in exams! Now I know otherwise. He must have felt alienated from me. Why else would he have not reached out to me for help when I told him several times that he could talk to me about anything, that breakups happen and it gets better, that we'd love him regardless of sexual orientation, etc., etc...my words must have seemed empty to him. Because he didn't reach back and he fucking offed himself. I must be a hideous, horrible human being. I must have failed him beyond belief, for this to happen.

my son

Epilepsy is not known well enough. I was trying to get ss for myself when my son spencer had a seziure and died instantly. He was 11 yes old, very smart that he test @ 10th gr level in 5th gr.he is the youngest of 3 kids. I seem to be the only 1 greeving still it happened 2/8/10.noone talks about it @ all and he was the life of the h anyway in ill u r sus to have 13 seziures before u get ssouse and the funny one. Anyway u r sus to have 13 seziures before u get ss so I gave up cause I would of taken in a pict of him and said now u tell me does it look like it took 13 or just 1

I Found Her.

I'm a lesbian teenager living in Texas, and I had a steady girlfriend for a year and a half.
I was bullied constantly at school for being gay, or being "emo", and basically just for being different.
I began cutting myself at age 10, and contemplating suicide by 12.
My girlfriend had a lot of the same issues as I did.
We would always randomly surprise each other by just showing up at their house, and on this Monday night last July, nothing was different. I knew she was home, I knocked on the door and her step-mom answered. She told me my girlfriend was in her room, so I headed back there and opened the door.
At first I thought she was standing in the closet. Then I noticed the blood on the wall and the shoelace tied around her neck.

Random fuck up

If I was to tell all my story then their would be a lot of public scrutiny. But to sum it up, I might be able to use a few paragraphs. I'm 37 about to be 38. I look good so people tell me but I've been divorced once 2 kids with a mom that committed suicide. Not like I didn't already brand myself by slashing my arms over 48 times. I get with a woman I think is not going to have more medical mental problems and have 2 more kids. She has escalating mental problems due to disability, turns to drugs and I leave her. I raise these kids on a daily basis thinking they are what I live for. Joke is on me. They are all female and here I am raising 4 girls all alone. I cry every day wishing I was dead. I get laid off of a job after 6 years. I move thinking there's gotta be more of a life for me elsewhere. I still want to end my life on a daily basis. I know better because their are 3 girls that depend on me still for 1 has reached 18. Nobody is hiring. Some stupid ass named Rick perry wants to allow more aliens to take our jobs from us and my unemployment will run out soon. Aliens that could have committed God knows what crimes come to our country and takes our jobs while our people with only misdemeanors suffer with our families. Thanks Rick Perry! You a bright fucker. So while I sit back allowing bright fuckers determine the fate of how my family life is I will live off the states until someone with brains step in. Well, my life isn't just his fault. It's my very own. I made my mistakes. I love females but every damn one of them have done me wrong, including my female kids. I just have to wait till they are old enough to do so. More so they just enhance me wanting to kill myself but I know different. Anybody with common sense would not have children. Don't ever invite a child to an evil world such as this one. I wish I was never born. LIFE JUST SUCKS!

Please read

I just want to remind everyone to come here to vent when they feel depressed, Chances are those who care about you enough and would actually help you out arn't even aware how seriously depressed you are.

My dear, old friend Mark commited suicide at the end of Febuary this year, I had lost contact with him over 3 of years, I got busy in my own life having children but always thought once my oldest reached kinder age I'd have more time to get back in contact with my close mates.

If he had of called me or I had any idea he felt that way or was going to do it, I would of done anything in my power, I hope my other friends would come to me, I've learnt a huge lesson in presuming people will still be there when it suits me. I'm disgusted by myself, I got so lost in my own life, and the saddest thing of all in Mark commiting suicde, is the fact when I was 18 he stopped me from commiting suicide. He saved my life when I didn't want to be saved but in time had my children and became so greatful to of been saved. He hangs himself, all alone with out warning and I who owed him so much was too wrapped up in my own world, I presumed he had it all together, the last person I ever expected to suicide.

When I was depressed and suicidal I could never of imagined ever feeling happy again, I do get sad and have down moments and it is hard to hold out for the light sometimes, and usually putting my issues aside and helping someone else who feels the same as...

Well my mom got diagnosed with a serious heart condition when she was 40 and I was 18. Since then she had 4 open heart surgeries the last one being a heart transplant. As luck would have it her new heart developed a very rare form of rejection and was denied a chance at a new heart! So my moms heart finally could pump no more and she freakin died at the ripe old age of 51! She was my best friend and we spoke several times a day and saw each other weekly. So she died in February and my dad calls me 2 days ago to inform me that my sister and I need to come get moms stuff out of the house because he has asked his new girlfriend and her son to move in with him! Yayyyyy LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!!

Yes, my life has turned into one cliche after another

My story is long. Too long and too painful. Anyone out there ever have their spouse cheat on them while they are slaving away as the trial attorney in a death penalty case? Anyone out there ever ever watch their mother wither away from a stroke and die 7 days later? Anyone then experience their father do the same on the 3 month anniversary of their mother being declared brain dead? Lost the husband. Lost the mother. Lost the father. I am lost.

This was just the abbreviated version. Takers?