LIFE SUCKS

So tired.

Life was all well and good for me up until the 3rd grade when my 20 year old half brother died in a car wreck. I loved him just as a brother and had grown up idolizing him. After loosing a child my mother became very depressed and began drinking again after 12 years of sobriety. Even as a child I could see my mother and father drifting apart. Only one year later my father admitted he had been cheating on my mom and that he wanted a divorce. Not only that, a lifetime of smoking had caught up with my mom and she had been put on oxygen. My mother and I moved out and went to live with my psychotic grandmother who lived 2 hrs away, anytime this women didn't get her way she would badmouth the hell out of us and it always ended up in her blaming my mom for her own sons death. By the time we moved out my mom's mind was worn, at nerves end I guess you could say. We got our own place and things seemed to be going pretty smooth. In 8th grade shit just went straight to hell, my 26 year old sister with three kids died in a car wreck, so now my mom, not only lost one kid but two by the same fate. My sister was a dumbass and put in her will that those kids would go to her friend. My mom got to see those kids three times before her friend decided to stop bringing them to visit due to my other brothers crazy pill head gf calling up the friend that the kids went to and telling her my mom was on drugs. My mother began doing numerous anti depressants and stopped paying attention to me. Then came high school. I was not attentive to grades and I began smoking bud(pot, weed). I was bullied and fucked with everyday by somebody. To resolve this I started skipping school whenever possible because I just didn't want to deal with it. Around 10th grade my moms health had gotten so bad she got put on Hospice and was near death. At the end of my sophomore year my mom died and I went to live with my father who I only saw once a month after the divorce. This man never gave a shit what I did as long as it didn't slow him down. I started hanging out with the druggies at this new school and became a regular pot head. After graduating and turning 18, I found out my brother that died in the 3rd grade took a life insurance policy out in my name that had gained interest for 7 years and was up to 150,000 dollars. I decided to take 20,000 of that to get a car and start going to school, the rest of the money I decided to sign a paper saying it would stay in control of the life insurance company until I'm 25 so it would gain even more interest. I intended to get a job and pay for insurance on the car but it was too late. A few months ago I pulled out in front of some old lady and she totaled my new car, and now her insurance company is suing me for 6 grand. I have no car to get a job and my life sucks, having money doesn't change shit. I'm constantly depressed and the only reason I haven't offed myself is because of my sweet little dog and weed.