|Posted by That One Girl at March 31, 2012|
After reading everyones story I feel fucking stupid to feel the way I do. You all have pretty good reasons to hate your life.
I grew up in an okay home..with great parents..still, I managed to get into heavy drugs and run a muck. Dont get it twisted im not spoiled by any means but to me..something has always been missing in some way or another. My constant struggle to stay off of drugs and alcohol gets harder and harder as I get older..sounds like an addiction problem right? But when i kepp myself busy or have a high proiority in life (such as a job) the drinking and drug habbits dissapear. But thats the thing I dont want my life to be only about work or hobbies. I feel like there is something more..and I cant figure it out. I see people I gew up with getting married having kids travling or just hanging out with their friends (which I have none)..and it makes me jealous and confused as to why im still in the same rut i have been in since as fa back as I can remember. Like I said, my story doesnt even compare to most of you and I bet you wondering why is she even complaining..and I dont know. I have been in about 3 elationships and looking back every guy has been suppotive and loving but im such a psycho jealous bitch who is never happy. I dont want to kill myself (have tried but chickened out) but where does life get better......
when does life get better?...
Reading these stories make me feel dumb for feeling the way I do...
I just wish there was a website where people can share how there life went from bad to better...
I believe that would help people like us..
|Posted by Miss Emotionally Defeated at March 31, 2012|
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two and a half years. We met our freshman year in college, and we are now living together in an apartment while attending university. He has terrible anxiety accompanied with major jealousy and trust issues.
After a year and a half of dating, we were already fighting almost everyday. I think this is mostly because he was on the wrong medication, and now we don't fight as much, but the things he said back them still hurt me. We would fight about pretty much anything. Normally he would think I was flirting with another guy, or I was making secret hand-signals to flirt with somebody, or I was doing drugs, or if I made a mistake or forgot to do something important he would say I was doing it on purpose to sabotage him, etc. Then he would get so upset he would grab the sharpest object he could find and try to hurt himself, or he would try to jump out a window or throw himself down a flight of stairs, or he would punch the furniture, or hit his head against the walls, etc. Then we would get into loud physical battles over the object or me trying to keep him from hurting himself, but he was just too strong. Once he hit his head so many times that he got a concussion. In these moments of struggle, I often got hurt in the process, not because he hit me (he has never hit me) but because I would accidentally get cut by the scissors, or fall and get bruised, or even sprain my fingers.
Our fights would get so bad that our neig...
|Posted by Cool Breeze at March 31, 2012|
I was once upon a time I was a Billionaier.But I believe in everbody, to be on my side.But never beleive in myself,only in my so call friends to se me thought.But family was there when I had money,and when I did'nt have money my family was there .I gave millions to family and friends.So let my tell my story.Everybody expect so much from me.I got into realestate and made a fortune.I had over a million homes in my possion.But made bad business with the wrong people ,that I though that was my friends.They took my business from me .They fame me saying that the business was not mine.So I loss everything. My 40 million dollar home.My bentlys and my mercedezs and my rollsroyces .So I live on the street as a bum,but once I had it all.So what ever it takes to be the best ,I must not stop,but pick myslf up and start all over again.If I have a nother chance, I would choose a better choice of friends.
|Posted by Undefined at March 31, 2012|
I am trying to find if someone in this world think the same way as me.
I do not like to live in this world as a human being. I found everything in this world is too annoying, especially the emotional side. I truly believed that I will be way much more happy living as anything else but human being.
I have mom, dad and brother, however, we have no communication at all. I donít like to talk much, and my family thinks that I am weird and rude not to share my thinking, and I guess as a return, they donít talk to me either.
I am well educated and doing really well at work, weird thing is that I am able to joke and keep a good relationship with colleague. Used to have a husband, not any more, again, hate to get into relationships as it hurt my feelings when bad things happened.
I know all these happened probably because I am a defective person. I blame no body but myself. Well, think about it, I guess it all started because those who decided to bring you to this world without asking for consentÖ. Seriously, I wish I never come to his world.
Anyways, good luck everyone.
|Posted by bob at March 31, 2012|
Two and a half years ago i got devorced from a very controlling woman who put out once.evrfy two.months or less. Within 6 months I found a wonderful, fun, attractive woman that i started dating. I wont even get started about my job, ive fucking hated every minute of it for 16 years. Now, with the economy its cut into my hours. I still owe my ex money that i cant afford to pay. I boughg a beater so icould sell my car to.give my.ex.the money to try to get rid of the payment so i can make it on reduced wages. With all the stress i started getting a.case of performance anxietg. At first my grilfriend didnt understand a was too upset to do anything supportive. Then she reqlly figured it out and was trying to help me get thru it and get confident again. Then she 180'd again and is only putting pressure on me thats making it worse. I feel like she's gonna snap anytime now. So my ex is getting the last laugh, I have to sell my car and cruise around in a rusted out 1986 pickup till i get outta debt. And my girlfriend that i love very much that is just the kind of person i dreamdd of findi g when i got devorced could be gone tomorrow. I need the world.to stop spinning for about a month so i can get it together! I hate my life!
|Posted by anonymous at March 31, 2012|
Graduating from college should be a triumphant event, but instead it breeds fear in the eyes of people experiencing it. I am one of those people. I'm about to graduate, lose my health insurance, my finances and basically my well being. I know realize that this dead end of coffee shop job, which I hate, will now become something that I will have to rely heavily upon. Also the cruel reality that if I want to do something with my degree I will end up working about 3 jobs to maintain what I need to survive- health care- primarily because all the jobs in my field (botany) are temp. jobs. It seems like a minor complaint but I am just not looking forward to 12hr day of work that is in my future. We work so hard in life to get by and for what to be successful, wealthy, and happy. Is it really worth it? Why continually try to succeed if its always going to be a uphill battle? Why infest time and energy into something to get no where? What if I just ended it now instead of putting my self through all this turmoil? whats the point of pushing forward if the outlook is unsure?
|Posted by RoyallyFdUp at March 31, 2012|
I've never been a terribly happy person. I had it tough growing up and life has always been hell for me.
I was raised by my abusive alcoholic father: my first memory is being beaten up against a wall by him: being held by my throat and lashed with a belt. The mistreatment went on all through out grade and high school. I ended up in foster care twice, and my sisters ended up in an orphanage when I was in college (which I dropped out of to help them). On top of this my mother left when I was three and my father told me she was dead. Just recently I was messaged on MySpace and was contacted by my stepsister in west Virginia who told me my mother was alive and well.
I went to visit her, as she told me she had something very special planned for us. She proceeded to pull out crack rocks and offer me a smoke. I did it because I was scared and never had the acceptance of my mother, so I didn't want to ostracize Myself. To this day my parents both are worthless and neither one will help me with anything in my life. They are dead to me.
I have degenerative disc disease and outrageous continuous daily pain inu back which is nearly crippling. I can't find any doctor willin to treat me and suffer daily because of it. I started buying pain medicine on the street to take care of my back and now I've ended up hooked. I wake up every morning in a sweat and cold: pain wracking my body and feeling like shit. I just can't get off the pain medicine and it's making m...
|Posted by juice at March 31, 2012|
I am 23, and a virgin. I never had a relationship, just don't know how to do it, so I surfed the net and tried to learn some tricks for hooking up with women, nothing worked and in the process I developed such a low self esteem that I couldn't even function. I had severe anxiety issues, whenever I was around somebody or in a social situation I couldn't function normal, I would stumble upon the things in my way, I would try to walk like a macho man just to hide my anxiety which would make me look like I am gonna beat the hell out of somebody, so it only scared the people around me. I approached this girl called Tanya in my college and she gave me her number. But I didn't know where to take the relationship and I messed it all up. I used to see her in the college everyday and it only deppressed me further. My grades fell dramatically and no one could understand what was wrong. I kept doubting my body language all the time and always felt like there is something wrong with what I am doing, maybe I should do it some other way, like they do it in the hollywood movies, but was never satisfied with myself. The deppression became severe and I started to experience episodes of vomiting. I would puke everyday in the shower. Things got worse, and I wanted to end my life, not because I hated it, but because it became difficult for me to operate normally in society due to the anxiety. I stole 5000 bugs from my home and asked one of my friends to buy me a gun and told him that its one ...
|Posted by anonymous at March 31, 2012|
I don't know what the hell I did wrong but it seems like I did something really bad because my punishment is living hell. i don't know what to do anymore. People keep telling me to be positive and things will get better, but how the hell can I say positive if things keep bringing me down!!?? I can't help feeling sad. It's not my fault. I want to be happy but it's impossible because God hates me!!! He wants to punish me for something!! All he does is bring me suffering and pain and the ability to not be able to tell my feelings to anyone. So please tell me how the hell can things get better!!?? God, LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!1
|Posted by anonymous at March 31, 2012|
I'm a 28 years old man,and I'm a university student. My place is crap, my learning is crap i barely make not enough money to get by.I really hate my life at this moment. I need a grant for a few time almost for 2years.
At the moment life is difficult for me.
Fuck my life sucks big time.
|Posted by Mme at March 31, 2012|
I `m used to people reject me , i`m always lonely and I dislike so badly how I look .I do not get it why people do not talk to me , whatsoever .I have few "friends " which obviously do not understand me ,they are so shallow . I got no boyfriend , I `m so fat and my life is always the same .I`m 22 ,does it matter ?
|Posted by rob at March 31, 2012|
I'm alone and a straight 58 year old guy.. There's no doubt about it being alone is difficult. Its as if the world around you is tailored around people with other people, even in the f..k..g supermarkets its; buy this based on 2 people sharing, and so it goes on, at times I feel like I'm invisible. I came from a family of 4 others who are all older than me and we all kind of split up and went in completely different directions, but I hung around the family home, never married, and took care of all the heart breaking things you have to do when someone dies, in this case, my parents. This was 20years ago, and basically, I've been alone in this world ever since. I have had relationships over the years all of which deteriorated after a short time for various reasons. I suppose I should enjoy the freedom of it all and not let the loneliness get to me but that's easier said than done, especially at times like Christmas when I find I have no one to be with. YER I would say that all in all being alone SUCKS!
|Posted by BC at March 31, 2012|
I always drew strength from my marriage. Having faith that I had the security of my relationship with my wife allowed me to have the confidence to go forth and take on the world. Then I found out my wife was unfaithful. It has hurt my psyche more than I could have ever imagined. I think I'm ugly, physically and intellectually, because my wife had the need to find satisfaction outside of the marriage. I have no more confidence in myself. My job has always sucked, but the strength in the knowledge that my marriage was solid allowed me to perservere. Now my job sucks, my marriage sucks, my life sucks. I have very little going for me. For the first time in my life, I actually understand the plight of those who have taken their own lives.
|Posted by anonymous at March 31, 2012|
This story of mine is a little long, so I beg you to take your time and read it.
Before I start my story I apologize for mistakes you find in my typing, English is not my first language so please bear with it.
5 years ago when I was 17 I met a girl, she was 15.
I liked her but since I was too young it was nothing serious.
After so many efforts I could get her phone number and we became friends.
Gradually I started to like her and after 6 months of friendship I got my first kiss with her.
After that I deeply fell in love with her...
but things weren't going as expected.
Her father got a mission and they had to travel to another city located 590 km away from me.
It was hard so she decided to breakup with me...
I was depress, but after 1 week she returned to me and I thought that nothing had happened, so I started to love her more than before.
For 2 years we spent a long distance relationship, sometimes she had time to travel to my city and we had fun but she never stayed.
When 2 years finished, her father got another mission for another city located more than 900 km from me...
Again she decided to breakup with me because it was really difficult this time
but again she returned
Everything went smoothly till the last summer.
Last summer, suddenly she changed.
She said they're going to live forever in that city and she said that this time we seriously need to breakup.
She said terrible things to me such a...
|Posted by anonymous at March 31, 2012|
When I was younger, I never would have dared to believe that the world was so malevolent and vindictive. I had hope; hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a happy future, hope for a life in which I would not feel such emptiness and loneliness as I do in this one. It wasn't because I was happy, but because I refused to believe that this was as good as it got. It wasn't until recently that I realized that I was only fooling myself. I am only 18. All of my very short life I've been deceived, I've been manipulated, I've been openly despised, and I've been shown how worthless I am. Need those grisly examples? Well it started before I was born. My parents did not want a child, so when they discovered me, my mother decided to get an abortion. The only reason I'm still alive is because they couldn't afford it. Now I think most parents would have the decency of at least pretending to care for their child, but after six months they decided instead to try and kill me. This obviously failed, and a pair of broken legs and a dozen court sessions later, and I was with my grandparents, who are without a doubt the only good part of my life. The fun only starts there. My parents were still allowed to visit me because they weren't convicted,so as I continued to grow they started cheating on each other, physically harming each other, and and eventually separated (unable to afford a divorce). They blamed this all on me, cursing my existence as the bane of their love. And the truth is, they ar...
|Posted by Rangeen at March 31, 2012|
Though There is a lot to see in my life I find No joy in something exciting. There is no specific reason why i hate my life so much. I have Tasted all - The sweet and the sorrow. I have been loved by my parents and friends in contradiction i have been rejected by people as friend or something else. Love of any kind was something I used to think about when i was 15. But now its like my life is dead. At times I feel so empty that I want to end this life.But I never do So because I am not that strong to kill myself. I just Pray to God to take this life in any way . Its True I want to die. The Reason behind my depression what i infer is - that most of the people around me act in a weird way . This Weird way i cant understand . All I can say is that my faith in God is nothing more than existence.I believe god exists but he wants us to suffer all through. Its like a television show. All I say is That keep your feelings down to yourself . Feelings of Anger hate jealousy are all made by God. where there is love there is jealousy. This is all a vicious circle of God of which we all are part and which is the only depression of this life.
|Posted by NoWhereToTurn at March 31, 2012|
I don't even know where to start. Usual, abusive childhood, pregnant at 17, pregnant again at 23, then children's father died in 2005. From there, life has been hell. No friendships, no viable relationships, sitting alone, 37 years old living with my mother. My daughter lives on her own, and is doing better than I am, still trying to raise my son, but without my mothers help, we would be homeless. I cant find a job, no one is hiring, I have even tried fast food! I was a stay at home mother for years, so I have no work history. High school graduate, but no further education. I attempted college but owe loans, so cant get back in until I can pay those off. My only friendship was a texting friend from Norway, and now he has stopped communication after 3 years... what did I do? It's so sad, to actually come to terms that I have no one to talk to. My own mother is going through a divorce after 17 years, so she has her own problems. I don't want to scare my son, so I cant talk to him, and my daughter.. she has her own life, not concerned with mine, I rarely hear from her. Sad part is, I have contemplated suicide so many times, but after my children's father passing away, I just cant do that to my kids. But what use am I to them, like this? I cry and cry, scream at the walls, sit in my room feeling sorry for myself, every time an application for employment is turned down, I just get even more depressed. I have no vehicle so even finding work is a task in its self, but I keep trying! It just seems like a futile effort. I'm lonely, hurt, and scared... is this all that's left to my life? To live it out alone, and die single, with no one to love, to share with? This life is a joke, my life, is a joke.
|Posted by lilbit at March 31, 2012|
I was around 4 when I was molested by my brother and then he brought his best friend along. Then my aunts boyfriend came along a few yrs later. When I was 11 my parents split and dad got a girlfriend who's father thought it was ok to mess with me(did i have a sign on my head that said "easy"). At 12 I started drinking ALOT and letting men use me so I felt loved.I was with men twice my age trying to fill a void but it's still there. I am now 37 and still can't stop drinking but someday I hope... After suicide attempts and my brother killing himself, I think that I may get over this.... someday
|Posted by anonymous at March 31, 2012|
Hi, I'm 14.
I know, I know teens always seem to have LOTS of problems, but please hear me out.
I just skipped a grade to catch up my lost year and am in year 8. I have great grades and a wonderful family. My parents are proud of me. I started to publish short stories in magazines and newspapers when I was 11. I am not ugly. I know this because strangers would call me 'beautiful'. My MOM calls me 'hot'.. Which is really weird.. I am 173cm in height (5ft8). I have long 'spidery' legs. I was an ex-model. (I'm not bragging or anything. I know eeeww). I have a super good-looking 15-16 year old brother who doesn't even know or cares that he's really beautiful and that LOTS of girls are crushing on him. He loves me and tries to help me. I can completely trust him. He has no interest in girls and was only once in 'love' with an older girl who rejected him. So lets get to the point:
I am in SHOCK. From 6th grade to 8th grade is a huge shock for me. From playing tag to smoking cigarettes and shit. From innocence to .... From love to hatred. I was bullied the first few months because I was still childish. I had insomnia and self-mutilating problems. But then I started analyzing myself and changed. I am quiet. I don't care anymore of what people thought of me. I grew taller and taller and started to have a 'women's body'. Ever since then, people stopped bullying me. A guy started to touch me in class. I was scared. I was so uncomfortable and didn't dare say anything ...
|Posted by lonelyperson at March 30, 2012|
I am writing this because i am lonely and don't have anyone to talk to and maybe it will make me feel better. I am 27 and a guy and i should be happy because i have health and a family. but i have never had a girlfriend and never get laid or have any ladies who want to spend time with me. i pay for prostitutes like once a year and it sucks. i try to not masturbate but then i dream about sex and it comes out at night. i am so frustrated to not get any women. when i go out and see happy people or see someone i like and they ignore me it sucks. there have been many times when i tried to get to know someone politely but they always reject me and call me a creep. i try to be happy and do good for my family but seeing women or thinking or sex makes me feel impotent and frustrated. i get so angry and can not deal with anything. i have a very large penis but it has never helped me to get laid. women always find me uninteresting and weird. i can't drink alcohol and that makes meeting people harder. i know no one cares but life shouldn't be this way. i think about the iroquois nation, their name meant 'people who are building a longhouse' and their philosophy was the best mankind knows, to always be in a community, modern capitalism and american culture has destroyed people's communities here, and there are so many people in pain because of it. lack of community is the root of most problems in the world. biologically humans must relate with each other to function properly. people ...