Currently 21. Wake up every morning go to work, sit in a cold grey cubicle for 10 hours straight, go home, cook dinner, clean up from dinner, go to sleep and then do it all over the next day. My live in boyfriend of two years does not pay much attention to me and every day I think more and more of just ending my life. My dad died when I was 14, my mom is a psychopath that mentally and physically abused me for many years. Nothing in my life has turned out the way I wanted. I'm ugly,my weight fluctuates a lot, and more and more my characteristics/mannerisms resemble that of my mother's..which makes me hate myself for being like her. On top of all this I have no friends and some money issues. I feel more alone every day. I love my boyfriend but idk... im just unhappy with myself and my life. I feel lost. | |
I wish you the best of luck and I hope you succeed by taking my advice
When I'm not there, I'm working part-time at a fastfood restaurant. I used to be overweight but slimmed down a lot due to my current lifestyle. I walk a lot, ya know. I don't rely on vehicles because I can't afford one. I ride my bicycle to work. So doing this pretty much helps me stay in shape. Nothing like forced exercise.
So there's my week for ya. Rinse and repeat. Social life? Ha, it consists mainly online pretty much. So you might wonder, gee man, what's your drive to live on?
I have confidence in my mind, and my intelligence. I'm not a straight A student by any means, but I'm up there still. I feel like compared to a lot of people I know, I am pretty intellectual and don't make the same stupid decisions as many of my peers do. I'm great at helping other people or so I've been told (ONLINE) hahaha
Here's my point: a lot of the stuff you've described you have the POWER too change! Your not terminally ill! Take control of your life and stop complainin'! I mean I would feel more sympathy for you if you were under the age of 18, but your not. Your an adult, so dump the BF. Get a place of your own you can afford. Join a gym, or do what I do! Walk to work! Ride a bicycle! or do it whenever ya can! Get a bicycle with a basket and bring your groceries home that way. I mean if you REALLY want too, you can do it. It will take time.
It took me years to get to the weight I did today and I even once looked in the mirror and thought to myself i cant believe I actually did get to this point, ya know its kind of amazing to me how I lost all this weight in just a short number of years by simply changing my lifestyle.
I think when you associate the world ugly with your appearance your being very wishy-washy there. I mean your overweight, we don't know what you would look like if you lost some pounds. There's something really awesome to be said when someone doubts themselves, then they go around and turn their life around and become the person they never thought they could be.
Who you are and why you do with your life is largely up to you. I don't have a definite clear-cut course for my life and sure I feel a bit lost at times, but I think what keeps me moving forward is my education and my own aspirations of a better future. I'm really proud of what I have accomplished so far, really proud that unlike some individuals, I can stick it thru these tough medical courses Im currently taking whether it results in success or failure: I REFUSE TO GIVE UP.
I refuse to give up because in my eyes I see nothing but my end goal: My career. I want it. I'll go to the end of the earth to get it. I think what drivesme the most in my life is knowing I'm a good hearted person, that my voice deserves to be heard and that any dream or obstacle can be overcome with a little bit of optimism :)
Good luck to ya
I am having a hard time keeping my apartment clean and I am worried I might get evicted.
I have no job
I don't have any close friends except one that loves to yell at me and tell me how nasty (unvlean) I am
I have been praying to God for the past month to please just let me off of this world (I don't want to commit suicide because of fears of hell plus I am too scared to do it). I hope he hears my prayers because I have had enough of this world and the BS that goes on in it
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