| | Posted by Gone2Hell at December 2, 2011 |
I live in an "upscale" neighborhood where the houses are anywhere from $300 to $500,000. Last year the neighbor directly beside me rented out his house to a black family of four. I don't have anything whatsoever against blacks in particular but I don't like anyone who doesn't take care of their property! They constantly have their rap music blaring in their cars, don't cut the grass and don't own a weedeater. They allow newspapers to pile up in the driveway/yard. The property has gone down a lot since they moved in and obviously effects my property value.
Their garage faces the four windows of my bedroom. They come in/out at all hours and they MUST back their damn cars in! Wtf? They spend more than five minutes backing up, readjusting, backing up until they can get the car in the garage - in a space it was clearly not designed for. What's the point? Isn't is SO much easier to pull in the garage when you come home and back out, drive off when you leave? I just don't get it! Why do black folk have to back their cars in? Crazy! They don't consider their headlights blaring into my bedroom windows at all hours, the loud music which intensifies between two brick walls etc. I HATE THEM because they are inconsiderate idiots who could care less about the property they are renting much less the rest of us who actually own the houses here. |
| | Posted by She is prettier dead than she ev at October 25, 2011 |
I'm 22 and Everyday I wake up and wonder what the hell I'm doing out of bed wishing why the fuck can't I just hurry up and kill myself already? I've flunked out of college due to my schizophrenic psychotic episodes and delusions, mixed with my bipolar that put me inpatient last year. As a result from going inpatient my father has disowned me and my entire family is somehow convinced I'm such a good attention whore of a liar that I've fulled various doctors and shrinks to get this diagnoses.
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I have an older sister who I help babysit for sometimes, she owes me two hundred dollars or so and keeps avoiding to pay me. I'm about ready to give up on everything and not care anymore. Fuck the medical bills I have to pay fuck the banks. She thinks I'm a liar like my father does anyway. Thought sister's were supposed to support their younger siblings.
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My mother believes me but really doesn't care. Too wrapped up in her drug abuse. I was lucky enough she let me move in a year ago when my father kicked my ass to the curb. I used to have a best friend, but now I'm not so sure... who felt more like a brother to me, now he's convinced I'm too "bat-shit crazy" to even consider helping anymore. So he's detaching himself from me to avoid my 'crazy'. I feel worse than I ever have before and ignoring the voices telling me to kill myself is getting harder and harder because they're getting really persuasive.
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Some-days I eat a lot like a normal person and some ... |
| | Posted by anonymous at October 24, 2011 |
If anyone has the patience to read this I will be surprised. I barely have the motivation to type it.
I am uncertain of where to begin. My life is a mystery to me. Currently I feel as the title describes, which is the prevailing emotional paradigm of my life. I feel as though I have no place in this world; as if I were foreign to it--alien to it entirely. I am about 25 years-old, and am a man/guy/boy (or whatever pronoun suits your perspective), of a healthy weight, and with an athletic build. I am of average height, and am told I am attractive, a sentiment I tend to agree with for the most part. I am told I am funny, fun-loving, and fun to be around, that I am intelligent and witty, et cetera. I am agnostic, and profoundly spiritual, but not in any traditional Western sense.
Most of the evil in my life seems to have been inflicted upon me from my environment, or from my feelings toward myself. My memory is quite incomplete, but I can tell you what I do recall with a degree of mental clarity. The youngest of three, my father apparently didn't love me, or want me around. I was nearly aborted because of the pressure his family put upon my mother, but due to her own circumstances, she didn't feel she could tolerate another abortion (she had one recently before my conception). My older brother and my father had a special bond, and my sister and mother shared a similar connection with one another. It wasn't that I was entirely left out, because my mother tri... |
| | Posted by Blue2k at October 10, 2011 |
1. Illegal immigrants just got kicked out of the apartment complex I live in. When the maintenance man opened their room to clean, they found piss all over the walls and cockroaches all over, which has now spread through the whole complex like an infestation.
2. Really rude Indians scream from building to building while their children speak in foreign languages in the middle of the street, riding their plastic tricycles, unsupervised. Kids running around in buildings that their parents don't even reside. Buzzing everyone's apartment.
3. Mold
4. White trash screaming, and forcing their daughter to cry in the hallway. Trying to sneak a mastiff (huge dog) into their apartment to avoid paying the extra $50 a month (which didn't last long because the dog's non-stop barking disturbing neighbors)
5. Kids annoying residents. Knocking on doors and running away. Buzzing my apartment for me to let them in, because their parents don't feel like answering the door.
And yet, much much more! |
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| Posted by anonymous at August 22, 2011 |
I keep trying to be positive and I find it very difficult. Always an outsider, like a dumbass I decided to go into a surgical residency. Yea, its definitely job security, but I'm one of very few woman, and even less black people that venture into this field. I am constantly around incredibly smart people who make me feel like a dumbass on a daily basis...and some are all too quick to remind me of it. I feel like I can't do anything right and am told constantly to have more confidence. I also get to watch as all of my friends go into relationships and plan weddings while I at the age of 29 can only claim one relationship lasting one year, in which the guy was cheating on me almost the entire time. I've spent the last 7 years with a guy who "doesn't want to be in a relationship" and try desparately not to sink back into my suicidal laiden teenage years all while getting 3-4hrs of sleep a night. I keep thinking things will be better when I can get my dog back...he's safe with my parents, but I really miss him and it's not helping things. |
| | Posted by soldier boy at May 19, 2011 |
lets see born into a broken home taken away from broken home mom drinks and is crazy, i drink and am crazy thought that the army would teach me to be a man. realize that i have pissed away every opportunity in life away. am only 21 one screw up and i am homeless never got close to people period because of unknown metal issues. likely to be another vet/former foster youth in the never ending cycle of homeless and prison seriously considering giving it all up and drinking myself to death by any way possible. no dreams or aspirations anymore. man it really sucks and i don't care that is the part that scares me. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 19, 2011 |
well i am just another 18 year old wasted youth anthoer unemployed boy and anther rebel.
i dont get it.. I have a car,girls say i am cute with blonde hair.
I am not over wieght,infact im in shape.
I am a skateboarder,musican,and artist. plus many more cool hobbys.
i do as much drugs as hunter.s.thompson.
I feel drugs are a lifestyle which i enjoy.
I am not amazingly intelligent but i do tend to have deep philosophical discussions.(at least on acid)
I enjoy people who share the same interests as me or do things interesting with there time. I like indie girls and and alterntive people aswell.
I dropped out of high-school at 16 and got my ged after being kicked out of many schools. I am currently trying to raise money for further training in electronic music,and i am not a virgin.SO you would think my life is awsome..BUT the thing is
I live in a horrible town with nothing to do. all the kids here are trash or wanna be thugs. There are no kids that do productive and interesting things when they get high,and there are no girls i find interesting as-well.EVERYONE HERE IS A HUMANIOD and its horrible. I am lonely and i want to find my group..which i no is out there somewhere..I get jumped for spiting the truth when walking around drunk and stupid.I have to watch my back even when i dont do anything. MY whole life iv been picked on even though i am a pretty cool person. I think its because im not part of high-school drama and the whole mainstre... |
| | Posted by Du Ma at March 27, 2011 |
My fucking life has been inbalanced ever since I was a toddler. My mom left me after a few years she brought me into this world and dad wasn't really around for most of my childhood to teenage life.
I fled Vietnam with my aunt when I was 5 years old. I arrived in America in 1986. From then, I was pretty much living with different relatives every few years. My relatives welcomed me to their home but I never felt that equality in their homes.
With lack of love and attention from my family I begin to lose my direction in life. I begin to hang around with the wrong crowds and begin to commit crimes in my early teens. Robbery , bugulary , battery , shooting, selling drugs ... I've done it before I even turned 18. I did what it took to provide and proof myself to friends and the streets.
After I did some jail for a crime I got caught up with. I then realized that I was going no where and had nobody.. no strong support and I was especially sick with the life I was living. I always felt angry no matter when, where or who I was surrounded by.
I met my girlfriend , now wife at the age of 18. With her encouragements, I Then begin to self rehabilitate myself and got a legitimate job. I did my best to do right but for some reason I would always be surrounded by negative people. Even my wife's family was ghetto. I always felt that negative energy... I always surrounded by drug dealers and dope-fen. Almost all of the people I knew then used drugs..... |
| | Posted by FedUp at March 15, 2011 |
Iowa sucks. My life sucks. It has for two decades now. I keep clinging to the hope that it will get easier and my dreams will come true; but working two crappy jobs and living in the middle of UGLY cornfields (MUD, since it's winter and the retarded farmers tilled it so more topsoil can erode into the Mississippi and/or blow in the wind since there's practically no trees to act as windbreakers, let alone any other wildlife) makes it depressing to go outside in the either too hot/cold/windy/stormy weather.
My jobs suck because I don't have a degree (but then, my boyfriend graduated from prestigious private college suma kum laude ..sp?... and his jobs suck too.) we both work two jobs so we can make enough money to pay our bills and maybe save up to get the hell outta here...until something breaks!!! Ugh! I can't STAND the ppl at my part-time job!!! A bunch of LOSERS!!! why do so many people here use drugs?!? I'm talking meth, not merely pot. 96% uses pot regularly. I wish more random drug tests would occur so these "people" lost their jobs. There's plenty of DECENT people looking for work. Then at my other job, before I got depressed, people were annoyed by me because I'm happy? WTF....why is negativity contagious but a positive attitude just breeds contempt in others and a will to destroy your life?!? I hate people. I hate it here. I want to move west closer to the Pacific Ocean....where people are more like-minded with me (on a good day...)
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| | Posted by Rikki at September 2, 2010 |
I live i venezuela that pretty much says it all. You cant afford to buy anything and you always get robbed or murdered on the streets. Cant afford my own place or car even though i work 15$/h, so i have to stay with my mom who i hate. Thing is im 20 and never had a single friend or girlfriend. I was always alone in my school with no one to talk to just people always mucking me everyday. Ive never been to a party cuz ive never been invited and never had any form of social life, still dont, i go to college now and im still alone, its hell everytime i have to go and watch how everyone has friends and gf and i got no one, its funny how everyone has friends in this world, every single person, and i dont, bet you dont know anyone who has never have a social life at all in their entire life. Want to suicide so bad, but in my religion you would go to hell if you do so. lol r u fking kidding me? so im suposed to just stay here and suffer i guess |
| | Posted by not-so-good-at-much at August 23, 2010 |
Si most of my life I have spent alone. There are people around but Im still alone. When I was one my mother abandoned me at the babysitters. My father found me a week later but then he abandoned me at Grandmas house. At 9 my mothe came back and stole me from grandma. She didnt really even want mem she only wanted the extra welfare money to support her drug habit. As I got older her druggie friends were always around (prostitutes and crack heads, pimps and drug dealers) and the men were pigs. I caught them cooking crack in the kitchen and I got hit. There cooking dope and I get smack for walkin in my kitchen. Her peice of shit friend tried to turn me out but I ran, never saw her again. She died 4 years later and I never got to say goodbye. My baby was only 3 months old and she was the only good thing I ever did.
Im married now, happily for 13 years, or so I thought. He doesnt want me anymore. Another one tossing me aside as if I were just trash. He will leave me, they always do because I am the one that is noy so good at much, but at least I try. I count the days til my baby gorl can take care of herself so I can end this miserable so called life. I am tired of being scared all the time, I am tired of worrying that they will leave, I am tired.... |
| | Posted by oliverplt at August 4, 2010 |
Life does suck alot of the time. I have a masters degree work for the government and a retail store. I book over 60 hours a week, sometimes over seventy just to get by and pay the bills. I lost 2 jobs in the recession, I had to move away from the town I lived in for 5 years. My boyfriend of eight years moved there to be with me and after I lost my first job I had to move away and find another job. WE hardly ever get to see each other or talk. he probably will never marry me. I am getting old (ok...thirty now) and want to have kids...or do I in this crazy world. One sister is an ex heroin addict of 4 years, another sister and her husband are cocaine addicts...my two older sisters mind you. My brother is having psycotic episodes...everyone thinks I am crazy.....I am a workaholic, I want life to work out good, but I keep working at a pace that is tearing me down and I fear that I am getting nowhere. The current is anything, is knocking my back three yards a minute and I am doing everything in my power to keep my head above the water and breath. I am running low on energy and am afraid that I may drown at any moment. I can't breath and have anxiety attacks more and more frequently.. I think I need professional help, but can't find any time to even breath. I am an empath and take on everyone else energy and that really sucks when you are around pissed off, angry, judgemental people. My head swirls and now my stomach and heart hurt all the time. I can't sleep. I am hoping it will one day get better...
BUT IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I KNOW THAT MY LIFE IS BETTER THAN SO MANY AND I MUSt REMIND MYSELf to BE GRATEFUL.
I am not sure if there is a GOD. I am afraid of the water I drink, that food I eat and everything else because of chemicals we had infested everything with. Life is grand. |
| | Posted by Girlyyyyy! at July 17, 2010 |
We moved in our apartment almost a year ago & its been HELL the neighbors are so fucking black and ghetto! They randomly shoot birds with guns and sometimes egg cars. Police are here every week. I heard these 10 yr olds talking about selling weed. They blast LOUD music all fucking day!
One time at 5am this guy knocked on the door asking for shoes WTF?!?! A month ago a guy got shot and died. Tons of people saw but no one did shit about it. My friend said she saw this black guy chase this eskimo guy with a gun down the street. Today 3 black kids wouldnt get out of my moms car so it took her about 10 minutes 2 get them out. Today, I confronted this kid about selling weed and he was like "Say it to my sister she'll throw your ass out the window." It happened about 30 minutes ago. I dont feel safe walking outside outside by myself. I fucking HATE my neighbors! This is why people hate black people. I want to call the police and report them but if I do... Im gonna get jumped or shot. I hope God sends these fucking niggers to hell.
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| | Posted by TZJ at June 18, 2010 |
I was born in China, where the people might be poor in Western perceptions, but certainly not poor in happiness terms. I was loved, cared, looked after and had great spirituality in my life, until China begin opening up.
My official happiness life ended in 1998 when the business life forced my parents to send me to an English learning boarding school, where the Chinese spirituality was minimized. During my time I had unpleasant memories lasting until today dealing with people not from China. I did not understand them and had constant conflicts.
Then comes Australia, another 8 years of life changing pain. My family suffered greatly after coming both financially and mentally. I do not fully understand why they came to Australia, but at least I know pollution in China has gone out of control. We are not talking about air particles, we are talking about toxic materials leaking to underground water and no longer buying food you are sure of.
Australia has little to no spirituality, which my life depends. The people are soulless here, and not caring for others. Being in Australia I tried to integrate to the Australian way of life, but failed miserably. Now I isolate myself completely from Australians, and every time I talk to them I get so upset.
I am doing everything to get out of this country, and have my pre-1998 life again. My parents are suffering greatly and has deteriorated to my sadness. Its permanently hurting when you are forced out... |
| | Posted by spankey hayes at March 29, 2010 |
l ife sucks i have no friends today i got my ass kicked because i have a slight learning disability. I often am scared so much by bullys in my school i tend to piss my pants. My sister is a crack addicted herroine smack snorting hooker in harlem at the age of 12. I am originally from russia and have no friends. My life sucks id rather eat shit than live another day! |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 18, 2010 |
College is a terrible place. People are so savage. Every week they make noise, party, act crazy, etc. I find it to be very inhuman. Humans are not here to act like animals or savages. I want them all to die. I wish i could create a world where the hard working and innocent individual survives, and the lazy and guilty die. |
| | Posted by Damn at March 12, 2010 |
Got really huge pimples
Failed in a subject
ugly face
My friends mocking at me
Colleagues ignoring me
"Life sucks man"
Anyway i have to thank my Dad and Mom for being with me always........ |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 27, 2010 |
I am sure that the country one has born in, affects his/her future prospects, philosophy in life, how she/he takes life. The place where i live is called Estonia. Every day i have to struggle with bad weather(that doesnt suit my personalty), depressed and carping people who are so in details, insist on how correct you are- there is always right and wrong and only one colour- gray. My father has left me, but i think i am doing better. Its because of the age, i turned 17 now and my moods are more stabil. I even can see the meaning of life now, although i have been through hard times which were not my fault, caused by the circumstances. I know i will change my country, i will finish high school somewhere else, i will start a new life(because this here affects me too badly, i dont even smile anymore), and this hopefully happens this year. At this age i feel like anything is possible in life, why not to try if im not pleased, i have to take a risk. |
| | Posted by anonymous at November 24, 2009 |
As long as I can remember my life has sucked. Growing up my family was poor, so we always lived in shitty neighborhoods. I was typically the only blonde-haired, blue-eyed kid in the entire school system, and had to fight daily just to get an education. I've been cut, stabbed, beaten by mobs, shot at, and almost killed on several ocassions. I'm a survivor though, and all it did was make me hard and cold inside and devoid of any feelings of joy.
By the time we finally moved out of the cesspools of innercity life, I was mentally a pretty fucked up individual. I hated myself and everyone around me. I would fight at the drop of a hat, and trusted no one aside my family. I longed for someone to end my suffering.
After the move, I tried my best to become a different person, but it was too late. You can't change a lifetime of hate, violence, and low self-esteem by geographical relocation. I was antisocial to the extreme, and it always seemed to shine through no matter how hard I tried to act like everyone else.
I finished high school, completed college, got a decent job, and married a really nice girl, but unfortunately none of these things made me feel better about myself. I still feel like a complete failure as a person despite these achievements. When things are going good for me, I always seem to screw them up. I guess being happy and successful is a frightening concept to me subconsciously. I've known nothing but misery most of my life, and I don't have the courage to live otherwise now.
No, I'm not homeless, starving, or incarcerated. So I guess I should be grateful, but I'm not. Nothing makes me happy anymore, and I truly wish I were dead. Material things mean nothing if you hate yourself and everything around you. The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.
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| | Posted by GaijinAndNotAllowedToForgetIt at September 9, 2009 |
I am living and working in a foreign country. Coming from a culture that was very open and laidback to a country ruled by stupid pieces of paper and needing 'permission' to do any fucking thing was a major shock. Who needs permission to make phone calls? FUCK!
Last night I got a call form the Post Office the just made me feel as shit as I did when my 6-year relationship broke up. I am broken by this fucking place.
I am trying to send things home, back to my home country. I have paid over $800 (twice what I would have paid at home to mail stuff here) and have now phoned the Post Ofice on 6 seperate occasions (every call costing 20 cents per 20 seconds) and visited there for over a hour. They STILL cant get it through their fucking thick heads that I WANT TO SEND SOME PARCELS HOME. How hard is that? They are a fucking POST OFFICE.
I know it sounds like fuck-all to 99% of people but I have spent the last 2 years struggling against shit like this and it just drives you mental and makes you want to cry. I am typing this at work with bruises all over my hand from where I have been pinching myself all morning to make myself not cry.
As far as I am concerned I hope this whole country burns, with or without me in it. I honestly don't care anymore. |
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