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Posted by anonymous at August 22, 2011
Tags: 2011 August  Environment  Relationship

I keep trying to be positive and I find it very difficult. Always an outsider, like a dumbass I decided to go into a surgical residency. Yea, its definitely job security, but I'm one of very few woman, and even less black people that venture into this field. I am constantly around incredibly smart people who make me feel like a dumbass on a daily basis...and some are all too quick to remind me of it. I feel like I can't do anything right and am told constantly to have more confidence. I also get to watch as all of my friends go into relationships and plan weddings while I at the age of 29 can only claim one relationship lasting one year, in which the guy was cheating on me almost the entire time. I've spent the last 7 years with a guy who "doesn't want to be in a relationship" and try desparately not to sink back into my suicidal laiden teenage years all while getting 3-4hrs of sleep a night. I keep thinking things will be better when I can get my dog back...he's safe with my parents, but I really miss him and it's not helping things.

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By anonymous at 20,Oct,11 06:43

I don’t think you are dumb. You have a career and your grammar is good. You have some self esteem issues which affect your social interaction and relationships. I am sure things will get better.


By anonymous at 20,Oct,11 16:31

You should be proud that you've accomplished so much. The fact that you are one of the few black women in your field is even more reason for you to be proud and have confidence. There's nothing holding you back except yourself. Regarding the loser boyfriend- dump him you're wasting your time. If a man tells you he doesn't want to be in a relationship, believe him and save yourself more pain. You have so much going for you, keep moving and keep your eye on the prize.


By anonymous at 22,Oct,11 21:23

YOU ARE GREAT!!!!!

We need more women like you!!!

Smart, educated and career oriented......That's pretty cool!

I worked in a hospital a few years. The medical field is very competitive (and it is still kind of a "boysclub").

Also you're schedule must be incredibly full, making relationships a complicated accomplishment.

Your parents are around, you have friends and even a dog (I'm sure he misses you too). HANG IN THERE, YOU'LL PULL THROUGH.

Once a surgeon, IT WILL BE YOUR TURN TO INTIMIDATE!

And it'll happen probably without your knowledge.

PIONEERS ARE ALWAYS OUTSIDERS (or felt like it, anyway!)

GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND GOOD SUCCESS:-)


By anonymous at 25,Nov,11 13:12

Reading your post I want to tell you what you need is God in your life .
God will give you the inner strength to just smile at those who bring you down . If anything it will make you stronger to prove to yourself and to those around you that you can do anything with the grace of God .

When you ask Jesus into your life God will put a seed in you and it will grow as you read the bible and trust in God , God will shine a flow of light within you and no one and I mean no one can take it away from you because that is the spirit of GOD .

Walk tall fill your mind with the word of God memorise passages so when the enemy attacks you will no the truth and the way .

Here is a few ..
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. -- Proverbs 3:5-6

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.


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