well i am just another 18 year old wasted youth anthoer unemployed boy and anther rebel.
i dont get it.. I have a car,girls say i am cute with blonde hair.
I am not over wieght,infact im in shape.
I am a skateboarder,musican,and artist. plus many more cool hobbys.
i do as much drugs as hunter.s.thompson.
I feel drugs are a lifestyle which i enjoy.
I am not amazingly intelligent but i do tend to have deep philosophical discussions.(at least on acid)
I enjoy people who share the same interests as me or do things interesting with there time. I like indie girls and and alterntive people aswell.
I dropped out of high-school at 16 and got my ged after being kicked out of many schools. I am currently trying to raise money for further training in electronic music,and i am not a virgin.SO you would think my life is awsome..BUT the thing is
I live in a horrible town with nothing to do. all the kids here are trash or wanna be thugs. There are no kids that do productive and interesting things when they get high,and there are no girls i find interesting as-well.EVERYONE HERE IS A HUMANIOD and its horrible. I am lonely and i want to find my group..which i no is out there somewhere..I get jumped for spiting the truth when walking around drunk and stupid.I have to watch my back even when i dont do anything. MY whole life iv been picked on even though i am a pretty cool person. I think its because im not part of high-school drama and the whole mainstream bullshit scene. I don't chill with troughs faggots.
I wanna travel and i really enjoy big city's with much to do..but for now im am broke and on probation so i cant go anywere for a few years.
All i want is a girlfriend that i enjoy a job(for now) to earn enough to buy a van and some gear and leave. I like chillin with train hoppers and sqautters but because of my hobby's i cant fully be one of them.. plus they don't exsit in my local town.My life sucks because i cant find the right peers to be with and i end up wasting all my time with people that are going no were. and are uninteresting.All i want is to leave..to start over.. to live free and die free.
to be a rebel against society but to find other like me. Also i feel as if my peronality is shit.being bipolar and all. i dont act liek the person i want to be..and i dono if i can change that or even if i am spouse to..or if its just me.For one thing out of a bunch.. I wanna not care what anyone thinks of me.
life fuckin sucks because of all you humanoid robotic plastic bullshit materialistic people that live in what they call "society's" norms...thats not me im into the counterculture..like the hippes from the 60s but thats not what i myself am about..or the punks from the 80s.. were is are generation!! and were can i find them!
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What you do now, will be the blueprint of how your future is. Time to start thinking positive. Think for yourself, don't imitate what everyone around you is doing. Get some kind of education, or get into the military. Don't get hung up with the present, it will all change before you know it.
Although I talk 2 every1, I don't feel like I truly belong or fit in wit these people.I'm nt much for the high schl drama either I guess that trouble really do follow some people & I keep hoping that I'll find MY group- so here's 2 optomism!!!
My guess is when u try 2 go up people just try 2 pull u down- hang in there though!
spend a year in jail and then come back and talk to me
If you're in the drug/alcohol scene, don't expect 'great friends' (or even gfs) - ultimately when they're drunk/addicted/'high/ people can become very selfish and only think about their own interests!!
Many books or films may 'glamorize' drug culture, please get better informed!! Read 'Children from Station Zoo' or such...
Even if you're 'just experimenting' or only trying 'softer' stuff, I've seen some great people get addicted to 'harder' stuff too... :(
You're sportsy and creative, that's great... Can you find a way to pursue those interests? Put music etc online, network with like-minded online, save enough money (easier if you say no to alcohol&drugs!!) and leave/move?
Bipolar sucks, many creative people have had problems with this, don't self-treat with alcohol and drugs!! Look where it brought Amy Winehouse and others??!!
Learn better ways of managing it - nutrition, exercise, CBT, etc - can you find counselling or a support group??
Just keep your nose too much out of trouble, use your thought or creativity, be an artist ..and the good things, life and the people you click with will come to you.
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