LIFE SUCKS

I never learned that trick...

56 years old, two years of college, no friends or family I can turn to. Unemployed again, three months this time. I'm fortunate enough to be getting unemployment though that's only good for another couple of months. I had a good job, cooking and barbacking a few nights a week, so I had some money saved up.

From the first day I started looking diligently for work as best I could. I polished up my resume as best I could and from then on spent several hours a day scanning the listings on a number of the largest online job sites in search of anything for which I was even remotely qualified. I live in a large city so most days I was able to find two or three local jobs listed. I submitted applications and a copy of my resume for all of them. A couple of times a week I drove to the state employment office to look at their lists of jobs and to just talk with someone, trying to find some guidance to help improve the odds of my finding work.

It's been three and a half months now. My savings are all gone. I'm still getting $187 a week in unemployment which doesn't even begin to cover my living expenses. I have a housemate to share expenses with and have cut my spending back to the bare minimum and it's still not enough. I had recieved an email from an IT Staffing agency on Tuesday, looking for someone to fill a position with a local firm that looked quite promising but I learned this afternoon that the position had gone to someone else. No other prospects at th...

Big Storm Small Boat

I don't get it. Next year will be the 5th year I've to deal with this crap. I'm over loaded again. I've been given 20% more basic load than others/average. And the time needed to deal with the added load means I've less resources to deal with it.
Oh, and why do I say it's the basic load? Cos there are other loads... to justify my rank in the company. And so the storm gets bigger.
I've been battling with depression last year 2011. Perhaps I should get it officially diagnosed. That should make the bosses sit up and take note: I'm overloaded.
Trying to hang in there. I have for the first time voiced my displeasure at this crappy arrangement. My immediate boss may take some of my load off my shoulders... I'm reminding myself not to feel bad about it. My family is at stake here. My mental health is at stake here....

I just really need a big hug :(

I am crying, for the first time in more than four years... 22 years old. Lots of success on the job, got lots of friends... But I realize, that I have no friends who can give me a hug. A big hug. No one. I feel incredibly lonely.

All I want, is a hug. From someone who cares.

Are there normal people out there

I am 35, financially ok, have a decent job. But, my husband and I cannot find mutual friends that we get on with the wife and husband. My friends, the women are nice, but their husbands are losers and vice versa for my husbands friends. This is inhibiting our social life as we are unable to spend time around people we don't get on with. We also have 2 kids who we raise with discipline - it's not military camp, but the kids have respect and help out. Our friends kids are not like this. We can often see the problems caused by the parents ( our friends), but rather than say anything, we tend to avoid seeing these people. We also don't drink like fish, which means we are social outcasts. To get around it I see my friends separately and my husband hangs out with his. But it's been over a year since we have had any whole family come visit us. It can be lonely and I worry that we're too judgmental and will have no friends left at this rate.

A way to fix this?

I'm lonely, depressed, no friends, alone, everything. Same story as you.

Try an experiment with me.

I'm going to live selflessly. (Not *try* to live selflessly, really live selflessly. The energy of my food goes to doing stuff for other people. If I need a new car, I figure out a way that I own it, but for some reason beyond myself.)

I don't want to do anything for myself anymore. I'm done with it. I've been wanting a relationship so that *I* could feel better, so that *I* could have more friends, whatever. No more of that. I'm miserable and lifeless, and something has got to change. Just wanting to change isn't enough.

Don't go to work for yourself. Don't eat for yourself. Behind whatever you do, find someone else to do it for. Balance the selfishness of the world that put you here in the first place, with a little bit of selflessness, and maybe we'll help keep someone else off this website.

Try it with me. Maybe we'll run into one another someday.

Let's see if this helps us.

Fuck life

I fucking hate my life I live in a shity trailer in the middle of nowhere with absolutely no real friends literally woman I burn for ignores me when ever I try to talk to her it was just Christmas and I spent the whole night curled up around a toilet puking my brains out and I was completely sober and have been forced to stay that way for over a year while every body around me has their escapes all I want in life is for my car to run at least decently I mean really is that really to much to ask? Iv poured money into it and no matter what it still runs like shit it can't even sit at a red light without dying I go to school full time and I work but there's no joy in my life I had to leave all my friends and family and my pretty ok life over night to move out to this shity little life that I live now which I was told it would be better all and all I have to say WHAT THE FUCK YOU GOD DAMN LIARS!!! But what the fuck ever you know I got a slut of an ex girlfriend that has every body at my school thinking that I choked and beat her for the 6 months we were together when i have never lade a hurtful hand on any woman in my life and now I can't get a girl to even say hi to me I truly hate waking up in the morning and dragging my self out to school I mean come the fuck on I live 2 miles away from the nearest neighbor and 10 from town masturbations has even lost it's fun my so called family tells me "relax it'll get better" well how the hell are things supposed to get better when eve...

Ruined my life...

I am so lonely...I've never done well with relationships....I don't really know anyone that liked me...But I liked this girl...But she didn't feel the same way....I tried anyway..And overtime..I really started to love this girl...I talked to her every night...I was always there for her...She too started to actually like me...But then I started to become too clingy....and then when she was about to tell me to back off..(I didn't know at the time)..I told her I loved her..and well....Then I became miserable and she doesn't like me when I'm miserable...Now, she doesn't like me anymore...and our conversations are slowly dropping...I think she even hates me now...And so I pretty much ruined it with the one girl that may have liked me and that I liked back....and so...I'm really lonely and in misery

Pressure

I have this huge pressure to do EVERYTHING perfectly. But I can't. No one can. But my parents, my friends, family friends, neighbors, they ALL EXPECT ME to become this world famous celebrity and make them proud and bring in lots of money and get married to a good, hard-working, rich person. If I get a score in the 80's for a test/quiz, there's that annoying GASP and WHY DIDN'T YOU STUDY HARDER? WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE DONE BETTER THAN THIS KID OR THAT KID? I hate all this pressure. At school, sometimes I do before I think, and that gets me into so much trouble with my friends and relationships. I wish I could have better common sense before I do something, but no. I just plunge into whatever's gonna ruin someone else's plans, dreams, etc. I wish I could retreat to a world where grades don't matter, pressure doesn't exist, your social ranking's not important, and peace thrives.

I've always wondered about slitting my wrists. Some say that it's wonderful, your troubles just flowing away, even if that pain still lingers. Others say it brings you back to your senses, to the cold, hard truth: you just have to keep on going. I want to, but I don't have the nerves to do it. And everyone would find out.

And also, great. I got dumped. Because my boyfriend doesn't have enough time for me. And all my other supposed friends say I deserved it. Maybe I did. But he also ignored me. And I could never forget him for that. I loved him. But love, love ends quickly. Love flies away like a gypsy child in the nihgt.

And love, love doesn't stay for me. Love won't wait for me.

trying to keep it together

well im not sure were to start, but i have being suffering from ocd depression anxiety since i was a kid, it all started when i was 6, i grew up in a shit hole of a town i had a fight with dis kid then after that i was bullied daily for 4 years till we moved i was afraid to leave the house or go to school with out getting beat up or tormented even when i did fight back it continued and i just rember thinkin how can dis happin to a six or 7 years old how couldnt the parents stop it,i couldnt sleep at night or be left in the dark u realise now 20 years later that was the first start of my general anxietythen we finally moved house it was the happiest day of my life it was ok for a few months then my ocd kicked in,i still remember the i got a disturbing tought in my head that if i sold my soul to the devil in my mind it would happen i stared to do rituals to distract my self i couldnt get the thought of my head i finally told my parents after months of mental tourture and panic and they never brought me to see a doctor, i was only 10 years old after that i just pretending it wasnt happening even though dis thought were tearing me apart night and day,a 10 year old dosent know wtf ocd is they just think i better not tell anybody even though it was affecting me, and then the bulligg stared again nearly i dentical to what happened years before but now 10 times worse they guy that was bully mestared hanging out with my fdriends turned them against me i was beated up on the way t...

help me.

I have no dad. My grandpa's dead, No brother's No sister's. My grandma's ..I don't know about her. I hate my mom more then anything I have ever hated.
I don't live my life for myself anymore and the few things I do for myself just lead to more trouble I smoke I do drugs whatever. Those don't even make me happy anymore I have a boyfriend I feel I constantly need to please Even though he's my Bestfriend I feel like I'm constantly competing for attention I want to be able to relate to someone I hate this world I hate the things were expected to do I hate school. I HATE SCHOOL.I wish I could just die. I cut myself. I have since 6th grade. My mom still thinks it's just some sorta of cry for attention like she ever gave me any even though I tell her all the time how much it's not I honestly feel like she's the reason I can't be happy. She forced me into dance tells me I'm fat Tells me I'm ugly tells me why guys don't find me attractive.
My Bestfriend in the entire world. I can't even hang out with her in broad daylight. cause her mom hates me.
My boyfriend gets seizures. He once stormed out of the apartment I live at and the police were called I was in the bathroom crying all they did was yell at me to open the door flashed a fucking bright ass flashlight in my face and tell me how disrespectful I was being for yelling even though it was my boyfriend who was yelling.I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY that's all but it seems like something just doesn't want to let that happen cause no matter how many times things go right SOMETHING COMES AND FUCKS THEM UP. I've been told I'mm attractive by alot of people and it hurts cause honestly deep down in my heart I can't believe that ,I never will. I've had relationships they've all been ruined due to my trust issues. I'm not sure about religon anymore it scares me.
All I know is I wanna die.
There is alot more I can say.
But really.. in the end what those this really matter.
Thank you for listening though.

life sucks

googled life sucks. here i am. wth. im 16 and im not normal. all my life ive listened to my mothers stereotyping of people and how much she hates everything. i told her to stop telling me this stuff cause its messing with my head. she didnt. my father scares the shit out of me. his emotions are very random. he randomly burst out in anger and yells like hes taking your soul away and it gives him pleasure to do so. he needs total control but doesnt have it so he goes crazy. he finally let his emotions get the best of him. he beat my mom in front of me and my little sister. he also unplugged the phone so i couldnt call the police. hes smart when it comes to not getting in trouble but stupid with everyday things like spelling. dont ever say stupid or disrespect him to his face. youll die. when i was young my friend touched me inappropriately. i ended the friendship. later her dad went to jail for raping a family friend. guess thats why she never let me sleep over. ive never been good at socializing. i sit there with a blank stare hoping not to break into tears. thats why i dont have many friends. they all think im an evil bitch but have never talked to me before in my life. i have major issues but whenever i try to tell my mom shes laughs and or yells at me and says im ridiculous. i think i need mental help. i pray to god for a full scholarship to a college so i can get away. but at the same time i am afraid for my sisters safety. if i leave shell never ...

Downward spiral

Well I am on the downward spiral for sure. About three months ago I came back from a 2 month trip overseas to race competitvely with a foreign bike racing team, was entering University and future was looking very stable and all plans seemed laid out. I got scared, lonely, and felt like I was only kidding myself. I quit the sport right away and hated everyone and everything about it. I looked only 1 direction down. I fell in love with being self destcructive. I get drunk alone and at parties (in which i dont even like the people its just an excuse to get hammered), I smoke pot every day and want to stop but love escaping for abit each day, started smoking ciggarettes for some reason. My parents care too much and it bugs me having them always on my fucking case. I wish they would let me drown or burn away in this basement!! When I look forward I dont want to return to the sport, I dont want to go any further into substance and I dont want to get any more depressed but at the same time I really dont give a shit...!!! ARGH theres my basketcase story...

sry for wasting ur time

Am I Dumb?

I'm 18 years old and I am blessed with a loving and well to do family. I have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for about 2 years plus and I am always having problems with him. 2 years ago i was young and naive and got into trouble which led to countless depressing break ups and quarrels. I betrayed his trust and had to live with the countless consequences every since. I love him dearly so despite being in misery i went along with everything he makes me do or doesn't allow me to do. After that incident he broke up with me for awhile and I was completely inconsolable and suicidal. He came back to me when he couldn't forget me because he really love me. Then it all started with his small requests followed by more and more unreasonable expectations but i accepted everything and listened to whatever he said. I was not allowed to socialize with any guys (Even tho i'm okay with it) but I have to go to school and apparently i study in a mixed environment where theres boys and girls and when it comes to school work i have no choice. At the start it was really really tough dealing with this and foolishly i got through it by lying about minor things. He eventually found out about it and i fell right back into depression because he claims that i broke his trust again and again. (I had not much of a choice?) After awhile it seems that he was still angry with me and he went out to betray me and broke my heart. I was devastated but I still wanted him so much so I had to...

ugh

yes, it is true, life sucks. If you are born into money, you may have no worries, but life still really sucks. If you lie and cheat, and screw people over, you may get rich, but your life still sucks bad. I have learned that everyone is selfish no one gives a S about anyone but themselves. Even happiness is fake, your life still sucks. We are all lied to, manipulated, and walked all over, and then you die. Did I mention life sucks. Atleast when you are cold and in the ground, then you won't know anymore how badly your life sucks. Do some drugs, get drunk, beat someone up, whatever makes you feel better. you won't ever get far from the fact though that this world is nothing but sufferring and don't forget, you are not alone, because I too know how much life sucks

Different Day

I am a 26 year old male that is here to say, life is a joke. Everyday is the same thing wake up do what your told eat shit and sleep. I am so sick of this same old lifestyle, I have been single now for the better part of a year, I have lost my job, my parents will not speak to me, and everyone around me seems to be better off than I am. I see happy couples in the stores and I think who's cheating on who. I see kids and think, you little bastards have no idea what pain staking horrors await. This world is going to end soon enough with the way things are going and I will be the first one to say bring it on already. I smoke weed just to pass the time, and it seems like the only good time I have is when I am so fucked up on whatever drugs I can find that I can not hold my eyes open. I realize my thoughts are random, but that's just the mind of a future serial killer. My girlfriend left me because I didn't ask her to get married or at least she says, in truth she had already found a replacement. I have nothing to look forward to with no money, no job, no companionship, just me and my random ass thoughts moving forward without a future. Oh well fuck it only thing I can think to do is bitch about it on this website before I lose my mind. People win the lottery, but not me, people die everyday, but not me, people make love everyday but not me. When is my time for anything?

Damn it all

This isn't going to be the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone, but for me, it's fucking hell. I'm 25, and just 2 years ago, I exited the Marine Corps honorably, moved to be closer to family, got a crap job to get things started, and found a barely-reliable car to get me to work for a year or so, until I could afford to get a better, safer one. Fast forward to today... I struggle to pay the rent every month, and probably won't have a place to live come New Years. I can't save enough money to get a car that is reliable in any sense of the word, much less eat more than once a day. I owe my step-father almost 500 dollars, and either way he thinks that I am lazy and unreliable. As I said earlier, I can only eat once a day, sometimes not at all, in order to have enough money to pay rent for the month. I was never good at school, barely got my diploma in high school, and am just getting off acedemic probation from the local community college. I used to be an MMA fighter who was proud of what I'd accomplished. Now I feel like an abused dog limping on the road and nobody is willing to help. I'm tens of thousands of dollars in debt, soon to be homeless, haven't had a girlfriend in 5 years, no self confidence or self esteem, family isn't willing or able to help, and my friends can't or won't help either. My current roommates either smoke and sell weed and live beyond their means, or drink themselves into nightly comas while living like hermits with no contact with the outside world except through facebook. The biggest problem with that, is that I feel myself becoming that way, and I don't know how much longer I can maintain sanity or health if this keeps up. No money, fucking useless car, part time job as a rent-a-cop, no food, and about to be homeless... Thanks alot God, you really do look out for those in need... asshole

i miss my baby

I was searching on the net about relieving the pain of a loss baby then i got on this site. i'm 17 years old... when i was 16, i got pregnant. i was happy. yes, true, i'm very happy. honestly, it's the happiest thing that ever happen to me.. i love my baby so much and my boyfriend too, he's very supportive of me being pregnant. we've already discuss about baby names. but when my parents knew, i thought they will support me. but no, they didn't. they killed my baby. they let me take medicines on force. of course, what can i do? i'm so small compare to them. i tried a lot of times to hid the medicines under my tongue and just spit it when they won't see me. i can feel it very bitter but i sacrifice for it. but, they caught me doing it and so the next time they let me take medicine they had been so sure that i swallowed it. then, they made many ways for me to be parted with my boyfriend. and then, they won. my baby died 2 months in my stomach. my family is very heartless. they never feel pity on me and my baby.
until now, 7 months had pass, i still can't accept my baby died. i miss my baby everyday. since he/she died, i never found true happiness. everyday i cried. supposed to be this month i will give birth to my baby. and it made me so sad thinking i haven't done anything to help my baby. if only i had been strong enough maybe it's alive until now. i didn't even know if it's a girl or a boy. i keep on blaming myself that's why a lot of times i committed suicide.but, i...

My life sucks

I dropped out of high school sophomore year of family issues! I tried to get my GED but I have to pay for the fucking classes. And a rip off fucking 100 dollar GED test and I have to take 5 separate tests so thats fucking 500 dollars!! I don't have that kind of money and never will, and I dont have internet I steal my neighbors I lost my social life pretty much still talk to my friends on fbook once in awhile, but I can never do shit with them because I never have any money I can't get a job because of this shitty ass economy and when I do get close to getting a guess what?? I need my fucking GED or Diploma. Who fucking cares about a GED or Diploma it's just a fucking piece of shit paper with your name on it.

I'm going to see if I can join the army if I cant then fuck my life might as well jump off a bridge!

I am complaining to the world about my problems... Lol

To start off I have had a broken right knee since october 7th 2011 it is now 12/28/11 from a car crash.. Since I have been ill they havent been able to fix it... Lost my job a few months before the crash, putting out around 5 apps a week give or take 1... No luck with jobs cant even get an interview and I am running out of places to apply in the area... I have had 2 family members pass away along with my girlfriends mom who just passed all at the same time. Also, cant wait to get this cavity filled.. Someday.. The messed up part of this is I know someone else has bigger problems and they are not ranting online about it.. I will say it does feel a little relieving.. So to anyone's life that is a little upside down, looks like we are stuck living hard until things turn around.
Oh yeah going from steaks and nice food and the couple weekly BBQ's, to the dollar menus really sucks...

No reason to be depressed... but i am

For a while now i have been feeling like i just want to give up on life. When i look at my life i really see no reason to be depressed but for some reason i am... I just hate my life and the way it is going. I'm 19 years old, i have a loving family, i have never had to worry about going hungry or not having a roof over my head. I still live with my parents and right now only work a couple hours a week teaching fitness classes. I really like my job but the rest of my life to me feels miserable. My parents are constantly hounding me to get another full time job with benefits and stuff, but i dont want to for a lot of reasons. I pretend that i am looking for one and just cant get one, but to be honest i could get one really easily if i wanted to. I spent most of my time in my room at my computer playing video games or just sitting by myself. I dont really like being social, infact i consider myself pretty antisocial, I just dont like being around lots of people and i cant stand smalltalk.

I hate myself for being so lazy, I could get a job if i wanted to but i just dont want to. At the same time i hate being bothered by my parents about getting a job. It's like i am refusing to make a decision for myself and just continue to be in a limbo state in my life. I think if i kept myself more busy (like working or making friends) i wouldn't be as depressed, but its almost like i dont want to feel better. I just want to wallow in my self-hatred. I've tried to kill myself b...