Born with thc and meth in my system. Went home with alcoholic drug addicted parents. Was molested as a baby by dads meth head friend. Then molested repeatedly by many different men for drugs for the adults. Always on foodstamps, ssi and always lived in eighther section 8 housing or trailor park or homeless. At age 6 raped and couldn't speak for a year. My dad got black out drunk almost every night and beat my mom and me. Started using cocaine at 9 on an off. At 13 gang raped by 6 Latin kings and one of them raped me in the ass too. At 14 I was smoking crack everyday and I began to sell myself for more drugs and money. I was raped again by my band teacher, then again by a man named marcus who used to stalk me, he came in my window when I was sleeping, then again by a sex offender at age 17 multiple times while I was passed out. He got me pregnant and I got am abortion. All the while I was in and out of juve 4 times, and psychiatric hospitals,11 times. I finally got off all the hard drugs I was on after I had an abortion. I am now 18 and I'm in a relationship with a 15 year old, I am 4 months pregnant by him and I still smoke way too much weed, I quit school 3 years ago. I have no friends and no family that is sober. My boyfriends not old enough to get a job and he's not mature enough to be a father and I get a disability check for my social anxiety disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, mood related psychoses, and I can't work. I have soany symptoms of so many psychological disorders that I feel like I have them all. I often have visual and auditory hallucinations of demons talking to me and whispering. My mood swings are intense and out of control. I have panic attacks, and flashbacks, bulimia, I cut myself, dissociation, black outs, and personality changes. There is so much more detail and horrible events that I left out that I could write a fucking book. | |
Well I'm am no guru or fucking psychiatrist, and should probably be the last person giving advice with all the mental flips and turns I take on a daily basis, I may feel like shit and then be as happy as a fuckin dandelion.
Obviously you've gone through some real shit in your life, all the confusion and bs takes it's toll. No one is made of steel everyone breaks at one point or another, but you, you seem as solid as a piece of state of the art bullet proof jacket I mean to keep pushing forward after all that takes guts and determination, I wholeheartedly admire you for the effete you've put into living, no matter what the gorilla at the zoo threw at you. You managed to live this long, theres no stopping you, you can seriously do anything you want too because there is no rock bottom, you've already been there. Get off smoking weed, only do it once a week not only those it feel better but you'll feel better too. And if you find that you function better without weed then drop it. Smoking can also add on to "mental problems" trust me. It's no longer a battle with life, but a battle with time. How long it takes you to reach watt u desire. U can only go up from here
This story does indeed seem pretty fucked up to say the least. Let's HOPE it's false. I have a feeling it's not, however. Why? Because the kind of shit this person's describing actually HAPPENS like every fucking day in this fucking world. Really.
Aborting the fetus is not as easy for many people as it would be for me or (apparently) you. Religion and stupid ritualistic practices in the world fuck up the human brain into thinking it's better to have a fucked up, crack head baby like this person has festering inside of them than to abort the thing.
Life sucks. Life sucks. That's why there are sites like this one.
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