LIFE SUCKS

My FATHER IS A FUCKING CUNT

I grew up in a christian family, but my dad is a fucking hypocrite who thinks that I am his main enemy in the house. I'm a female but he treats me like a bag of shit. He is self-employed but earns shit so my mother has to go out and slave for him. This has gone on for 10 over years. Then he insults her when she is at home, calling her fat and saying her cooking is bad. He thinks he's the most brillant guy on earth who has psychic powers and that people are always treating him awful psychically. He is a crock of shit who reacts to the smallest word. He also made my family pray for his piles. I'm sick of his neediness and when I withdraw, he accuses me of being a selfish bastard. I left church cause I could not go without him saying I was a shitty hypocrite for going. I just feel I have to protect myself from this monster. He talks about his piles, his constipation, his ibs and his medicine all the fucking time. Even at dinner. He never knows when to stop. He never asks how I am doing and thinks of himself all the time. He's a fucking hypochronic. I'm sick of being accused of doing things around the house which I do not remember. He came into my room and accused me (its a shitty accusing tone fuck it) of not putting the dvd wire in the right way. WHAT THE FUCK??? if it bothers u so much just fucking do it yourself. When I said I didn't do it, he started shouting at me and threated to beat me up (yeah, i would like some fucking scars so I can get a protection order against this fucker). He said he has never beat me but the FUCKER has mentally abused me all my life. He also tries to get the whole family against me. My mother is fucking passive. The fucking thing is that he treats my sister with a simpering slave attitude because she is more pretty than I am. She has her boyfriends so she can stay out every day and come home late and avoid the shit I face. When I lost weight a few months ago, the bastard attitude started becoming better. Now I put on weight, he treats me like shit again. I put on weight when I fucking came home after staying away. I wish I didn't come home at all. It's amazing that I still seem put together on the outside, but I'm raging with hurt inside and there are days I want to take a knife and knife him and bash his head against a wall. Other days I want to cut my wrist. But I don't- I don't want to start addictive behaviours. I smoke a fucking cigarette every once a few months after this shit. He gives me shit almost every month. It's like he's a fucking period, anything can trigger his shit, the bloody fucking cunt.

Sometimes I try to think of God cause at least God is the only one who loves me. I don't feel so awful. Or I find a site like this. I know you are supposed to honor ur family but I don't think I can.

I just want to move somewhere far and cut off all contact with my family.
Thanks for reading. Love u.