I'm 15 and I have 4 siblings. My mum loves them pretty much. She hates me.
I have a job, and none of my siblings do. She gives them $40 a week spending money and gives me none because I have a job (the ones who are old enough to work are 17, and a step brother who is 16). When I didn't have a job though, she would go mental 24/7 that I don't have a job. She could care less about the fact that none of my older brothers do. They spend their money on weed (she doesn't know though. She'd kill them if she found out), and she pays for their school supplies, clothes, etc. I spend the money I earn from my job on school related things and I barely have any money left to spend on anything else.
I've wanted braces since I was 13. She recently paid for my 12 year old sister to have braces, but thought it was a waste to pay for me too. I started saving up for braces and managed $2240 so far (the braces are $7720). She forced me to lend her $600 for a new car tire because she didn't have any cash on her, and $370 so she could buy my 17 year old brother a $1200 bass (and when I tried to buy my own $800 bass she wouldn't let me cause she thought it was a waste of money). If I didn't lend the money she probably would have grounded me for life. She now refuses to owe me my $970 back simply because she doesn't want to. She said I should just not get braces, and if I decide to get them anyway she's not helping me pay for them. Did I mention she's currently helping my brother by a new car?
Speaking of cars, my grandad recently bought a new car so he gave me his old one (which is still in pretty good condition. He may be old, but he likes nice cars). My mum said that because I don't have a full license yet, it's my step-brother's until I get my full (1-2 years away). I told her I have my restricted license though, and I'm allowed to drive on my own, but she just ignores me. I'll probably try to get my Grandad to convince her but that'll probably get her pissed off.
I haven't slept well in days because I lie in bed coughing for hours before I eventually get to sleep (I went to bed at 11pm last night, and didn't manage to sleep until 5am). I've been having non-stop coughing fits for 5 weeks now. My mum refuses to go to take me to the doctor because it might be nothing so she can't be bothered. I even said I would pay for the doctors appointment but she just can't be bothered. When my brother had Chronic Cough (I think that's what it was) she took him within the first 2 weeks.
A few months ago I went to the doctor, and he said there is a chance I have something called PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome and that I would need to get an ultra sound on my pelvis. I knew my mum wouldn't pay for it, so I said I would but she doesn't want to take me. So I asked my aunty if she could take me, and my mum got angry and said it was just a waste. That was 3-4 months ago. I don't know much about PCOS but apparently if it's left untreated for a long time it can make you infertile, and a whole bunch of other things? I want to check it out but I'm not allowed. At 15 could I go do it myself? Hopefully she'll let me use my car to go do it.
Those are just a few things but it would take too long to list everything. Do you think my mum would even care if I killed myself? I wouldn't kill myself though. I always cry when I think about killing myself, because I don't want to die. Like... I want to kill myself because my life sucks so much but I just don't want to die. I'm only 15 and there are so many things I haven't done :/. There are soooooooo much things I've been so excited to do when I'm older all my life, and I don't want to not be able to do them just because of my mum.
I'm considering moving in with my dad. I never really got along with my Dad but he seems to be more caring than my mum. And everytime my siblings and I go visit him now, I seem to get along with him quite well now. Better than before. |
Dont think about it...
It will be the best solution...
Your problem is you have a bitch for a mother-some people just shouldn't be parents.Move with your dad if he treats you well and then when you're 18 tell your mother you don't want anything to do with her(or before then) at least until she can treat you with the proper respect. Some children need to divorce their parents-you can't pick your parents and sometimes you get shitty ones. It's not your fault or your problem it's hers. Just cut her out of your Life and let the bitch be miserable-she doesn't deserve your loyalty or your love.
It all about the wife, and not you.
But to get on topic, save money and live on your own. You are young, working, and talented. Very rare skills in the young these days. So spread them wings and fly little bird.
Leave the nest completely.
next time she dont take u to the doctors ask her how she sleeps at night
if worse comes t worse pal put a couple of sleeping pill in her tea then shave her hair off or sumin
when I discovered the bible it showed me there was more to life, things (the worse) happens in life to make you stronger and to train you for the future. The bible made me feel like there's someone who lobed me(Jesus) even if he wasn't real. But it still saved my life. Am sure if people who committed sucide had read the bible they wouldn't have killed themselve, it would have showed them the beauty of life. Trust me I was that sort of person who will never ever pick up a bible or go to church or thought there was a man called jesus.
However, you certainly do have a serious amount of neglect that you're dealing with. I don't know your mother. Maybe she doesn't realize the inequality you're experiencing, and needs to see that list of things you are upset about. Maybe she's well aware and could care less.
Either way, it's good that you are thinking clearly and have enough self-esteem to know that you don't deserve this crap. But remember that SUICIDE IS A FATAL AND PERMAMENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM.
Heck, you're only 15 and you have over $2,000 that you earned on your own! That means you have motivation. It also means that you won't be living with your mom forever. You know very well that within a few years, whether you go off to college or get a full-time job, that you will eventually get more respect and independence. You will be on your own making your own rules.
Suicide is ONE way to react to a problem, but this is a situation that can be resolved in tons of safer and smarter ways.
Someone mentioned moving in with your father. That's a good option. However, you need to think through any option before acting on it. You need to be sure your dad would be okay with it. Perhaps you should have a back-up plan in case it doesn't work out. I'm assuming that your mom and dad don't live to far from each other.
Again, I don't know your parents, but if your dad is treating you better now, it might be that he was frustrated with your mother and, for that reason, used to take out his frustration on you.
You should think of as many different options as possible, and try the easiest, most likely solutions first. Suicide is a stupid idea for this situation. Believe me, millions of other kids go through this stuff too.
As for yourself, if you're anything like me, you probably get frustrated and angry. Obviously, that "write down your feelings" crap doesn't work for people like us, so you need a way of physically releasing your anger. Try beating the shit out of a stuffed animal, or jumping up and pounding your mattress with your fist when you land.
Of course, simply getting out of the house can do wonders too. Schedule as many shifts as you can at work, and when you aren't working, find another excuse to stay out. But make sure you're being PRODUCTIVE, no drugs, alcohol, or other stupid shit.
Still, you need to do your best to respect your family, even when it makes you feel like their "bitch."
Try to help out with cooking, cleaning, taking out garbage, dishes, etc. whenever you can. In other words, make it so your mother has ZERO excuses to treat you this way. Don't talk back to her or make smart-ass comments. At the same time, you need a certain level of independence so you can work and do schoolwork. Even if you move in with someone else, STAY IN SCHOOL, and don't let this bullshit make you throw your life away.
The best thing to do for yourself is probably to keep track of EVERY bit of money you give to your mother. WRITE IT DOWN on a sheet of paper and don't ever lose it (write it on two sheets of paper if you have to), because your mother owes you that money. Don't just write down the amounts, but also the dates of the loans, and the reason why you lent the money to her. If you can, keep receipts.
Another useful tool I use is my iPod Touch. The headphones have a built-in microphone, and I have a voice recorder app. If you have something like this, you may want to record arguments or any important statements that your mother might need to be remi ded about later. You might also be able to transfer the recordings onto your computer, to email to the necessary people.
A lot of parents don't realize how important mental health is, and the fact that there is more to parenting than paying for things.
If you need to vent or ask for some professional advice, call your local crisis center or suicide hotline, and they will offer you counseling. They might even be able to give you phone numbers for actual psychologists or social workers.
Good luck!
For SOME people, religion helps. It's important that you do what works for YOU. If you're not very religious (or if you're Jewish, like me), Jesus isn't going to help you much. And if you just aren't the Bible type, the WORST thing for someone to do to you is ask you to conform to THEIR beliefs. That is why so many LGBTQ people become depressed or suicidal when they're sent to "ex-gay" camps, or ostracized by society.
Also, simply praying and reading a book isn't going to change the way your mother treats you.
Besides, that commentor was probably just trying to advertise his church to you. Some people are sick enough to exploit religion. Some parts of our world are a bit sad.
Another poster said to simply leave anyone who makes you miserable. Only about 30% of that is true. Yes, if you are in an abusive relationship, or if you're old and stable enough to be on your own, you can avoid certain negative influences. But there are some things in life you will just have to deal with. For example, a mean boss, rude neighbors, customer service representatives, etc. These are battles that you don't need to fight.
And it is obviously NOT a good idea to do any harm to your mother. Even sleeping pills have been known to kill people when accidentally given in too big of a dose. And, of course, prison is not a good place to be. Not only would you have to worry about catching disease, getting beaten up, and being stabbed to death, but there would be no boys for you, and you would be treated far worse by the prison guards than you are by your mother.
Even if you miraculously were not sentenced to prison, you would be an outcast to society, and no one would dare talk to you.
The advice I gave you in the last post (right above this one) is both reasonable and based on experience. Plus, it actually makes sense and will give you the appearance of an angel.
My mum like that too-not as bad hought- i think you should consider moving in with your dad,and i know it may be hard for you to stand up to your mum and try talking to her. when i'm usually angey about my parents, because my dad has anger issues and gets pissy for no reason, to show how angry i am i just call him horrible names or shout out 'i hate my fucking life'. it tends to work.
lately i been upsrt about my life too, what you really need to do is go to the doctors no matter what you need to go and try and sort your mum out but in the mean time stay with som other realtive or your father.
all the best
Life is much worth than this, every single one in this earth have problems, and is working hard to get some kind of satisfaction (Wealth, power, reputation, position...) and happiness, but in reality running after this life is just making us wasting our efforts and lives for something that is not even lasting, or for something that other people are enjoying. LIFE IS MUCH MORE THAN EATING WORKING SLEEPING... OTHERWISE we will be nearly close to animals that are spending their lives to satisfy their desires. LIFE IS MUCH WORTH THAN SERVING SOMEBODY FOR SOME MONEY TO SURVIVE. WE ARE MUCH WORTH THAN THIS, we've got a brains to think we have to take example from elder people what they have achieved in their lives, did they really find what they were looking for all their life. I am afraid to disappoint you but this is the sad truth. Most of the people are motivated only because of money or some limited satisfaction, which once it goes they don't find a place for themselves in this life anymore because , this THING which was motivating them or keeping them alive, has gone forever.
Spiritually, we are empty, easy to manage and control, our principle of life is HOW TO SURVIVE TILL WE DIE. WE ARE MUCH WORTH THAN THIS. THE ONE WHO CREATED US WOULD NOT WANT US TO LIVE in Slavery. WE are slaves of what we have made by ourselves , we are slaves of our desires, doesn't matter if we are doing right or wrong, we are greedy arrogant and selfish, we are living to please our selves exactly like animals or even worse , at least animals have no brain to develop like we did. We have seen examples and examples of people which main reason of life was something from this life (not lasting) like money, women, fame, power... so when the goal is not achieved or when even if the goal is achieved but as I said it will not last forever , then this person cannot imagine life without it, and become depressed and even commit suicide which is the worst (nor this life nor the next).
This is our sad life, success and happiness is not coming from anything that is not lasting, it is coming when we realise what we are created for? Where are we going after we die? Did we do anything to be proud of to meet our lord? Is this the way we are thankful for every single quality ALLAH gave to us? BE SURE WE WILL BE ASKED ABOUT EVERY SINGLE THING WE DID, our time where we spend it our wealth, our body, our knowledge, everything we got. We should ask ourselves HOW WE ARE GOING TO FACE OUR LORD? WITH WHICH FACE? all we are making mistakes, that is true, BUT GOD the one and the only one, our only creator and to him we will be back, his the most merciful, he is forgiving us if we do ask him forgiveness, by stopping the sin, regretting it, and compromising that you will never comeback to do it again, and be sincere in you intention because Allah which is GOD in English knows best your intentions.
By coming back to Allah you will feel like a fish in the ocean, because is our nature we have been born with , but unfortunately our material life is changing us and taking our focus to just desires and wealth, and no one has succeeded to take with him after he died his nor his wealth or wife or what he spend his life for, SO BE WISE and work for the next life(seek knowledge about Islam, pleasure of getting in touch with the creator of the universe...) so that with the mercy of ALLAH you get to the paradise where you find all pleasures that we cannot even imagine and is eternal.
It is happening in people life that they have never thank ALLAH for anything , or asked him anything, this is not a sign wisdom, as if you want something you've got to work for it, and the PARADISE IS WORTH .
TO SUM UP< what i meant is don't take this life as a goal it is worthless, don’t let it make you upset o deviate you from your goal( PARADISE 4EVER), take it as a mean but not a n aim ( live as a positive citizen but don't let it distract you from what your are created for) to achieve your main goal which is PARADISE FOR EVER WITH ALL THE DESIRES (beautiful virgin women ,food wealth...) and other desires we don't know (desires in this life are limited and short)
Brothers, I am a Muslim, I wish you all the best, and this is just an advice from somebody who wants you to live good life and next life. MAY ALLAH guide me and you to the right path.
But, first, communicate with your mom. Why and why.
move in with your dad
New Comment