LIFE SUCKS

Can't catch a break

My dad, my best friend. 67 lost his life to leukemia. i struggled with him side by side for 4 years. his life was miserable. just to turn around and lose the battle.... i haven't been the same since. I don't know what to do. and a couple months before that i broke up with my gf of 5 years... so my life has been completely flipped upside down. the stress, anger, pain, emotions are so overwhelming, and then having to live day to day and fake everything is ok. just to come home and drink my pain away. im stuck in a rut. and when i finally think i found something to help me through my struggles.... a new g/f. i adore her, and want to treat her like gold.. but she has a lot of "guys" that are friends, and its causing a lot of issues. im not a jelous guy but some things she is saying isnt adding up. anyway, i can't really complain. i have my health, friends, a roof over my head. i feel bad complaining but i feel everyone has their own demons to deal with. watching my dad gasp his last breath, and i hugged his neck, was by far.. the worst day of my entire life. he was afraid to die, and that struck a chord with me. it bothers me everyday knowing he was scared when he left this world.....