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Dont know

Posted by Bella Luna at April 3, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Attitude  Loneliness  Unemployment

I'm 29 years old single women. i don't know how to put it across what i am going through. life has never been a bed of roses for me. my childhood sucked. my parents got divorced when i was 6 years old. i stayed with my mother and 2 brothers, m the middle child. my mother always loved and favored my elder brother. i was a lonely and fat kid. i had no friend no one wanted to talk to me cause i was fat and came from a broken family. my own brother use to ignore me in school, as if i was an embarrassment factor for him. i wasn't a brilliant student either i always managed to just pass out. i was always interested in music however my mother never encouraged me. i never had any other talent. i was wasted. I didn't complete my graduation cause i took a drop from college in my final year and started working to support my family, cause my brother wanted to complete his love life sucks, in fact i don't have a love life. I've been in relationships but nothing clicked, cause they all are attracted to my personality, m tall, average looking( that's what i think) and i smoke, i drink etc. I've always been an easy going person, though m reserved and shy. i m a real loner, and ppl take my this quality for an attitude problem. I've never cared what ppl think about me. i have always been loyal in friendship however i have always been betrayed by my friends. my job was going great that was the only thing that use to make me happy as i was always appreciated by my bosses and my team. however due to some circumstances i had to quit my job as a team manager. and now I'm struggling to find a job, it's been 6 months that am jobless. my family has stared treating me like an outsider.whatever saving i had i gave it to my mother and now I'm penny life sucks!!! i got no job, no social life and no support from my so called family. i don't know why m writing this may be cause m bitter,m jaded and m alone and also i don't have any one to talk to.


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New Comment

By anonymous at 03,Apr,12 20:29

I know what you are going through, but love yourself. Live. Trust me there are people that love you. I find myself in the same situation and the only thing that helps me is just faith, that there is something there for me, waiting. I keep wanting to give up but I don't know maybe God is stopping me from totally giving up, maybe its me really wanting to face another day, whatever it is, your worth it. If someone ignores you, it will be there burden to bare, life comes with struggles but the best is yet to come. You have to believe that. I believe the best will come to you. You're beautiful!
By Bella Luna at 06,Apr,12 05:57

Hello There,

Thanks for ur motivational words.Indeed keeping faith will help me through this phase. and also it's good to know that good ppl like you still exist. thanks

By anonymous at 03,Apr,12 21:15

You can still turn your life over if you decide to. You re still young, get a makeover if you feel ugly and try to meet friends online, in every city there are lonely 'normal' people looking for friends, either because they are shy, either because they are expats and dont know a lot of people. You ll eventually meet more and more people that way. Cut your mother out of your life if she treats you badly and tell yourself that you will eventually meet a guy with whom you ll have your own new family who will love and respect you.
By Coolrain at 04,Apr,12 17:41

I agree with you about her mother. Boundaries need to be firm in that reltionship. Limit the amount of contact you (Bella Luna) have and if she contacts you...say that "Now isn't a good time." Be a broken record and keep repeating to yourself until they get the picture. Bella Luna, YOU are in charge of your life. Also, this is a process but start treating yourself well. Love yourself because people will respond to that (especially guys).
By Bella Luna at 06,Apr,12 06:00 Fold Up

Hey there,

thanks for reading abt my life. Naah i don't feel ugly abt myself. i can't cut my mother out of my life as of now cause i don't have nowhere to live and have no funds. i hope very soon i get a decent job so that i can move out.
thanks mate.

By anonymous at 04,Apr,12 04:44

Don,t worry evrey thing will be ok talk to me send me your Phone number, I am an engineer I will tell you more about touch me on (babarkhan41)(at)(gmail)
By anonymous at 04,Apr,12 08:00

Shut it the fuck up you dumb asshole! I hate number 41.
By Bella Luna at 06,Apr,12 06:16

hey there,

thanks mate.
By Bella Luna at 06,Apr,12 06:01 Fold Up

why r u being such a creep???????????????????????????
By Bella Luna at 06,Apr,12 06:15

this is for no 41

By anonymous at 04,Apr,12 05:14

I sympathise with you sweetie as my life is sad also..
chin up xx
By Bella Luna at 06,Apr,12 06:02

Thanks mate!! I hope everything sorts out for you. t.c

By anonymous at 04,Apr,12 08:57

hi sweetie Bella.... I can understand ur loneliness attidute sweetu..... Even i am a loner by personality, but the difference here is , every body likes me and i want to be myself at most of the time..... i love enjoying myself listening to music..... i dont know where u from , wat u do..... but i still love u as my friend....dont worry dear, i wil be with u as a good friend til my last breath.....this is my face boook id..... and i am from India ..... also send me a mail....
By Bella Luna at 06,Apr,12 06:05

thanks for ur kind words.

By anonymous at 04,Apr,12 11:18

Hey Bella...sorry to hear about your frustrations. I can understand the embarassment that you felt in school, i was in the same boat but i overcompensated by being extra funny and goofy just so i can make and retain friends. But it really is a burden on someone's self-esteem if they are called fat and belittled and picked upon just because of their physical feature. It has given me a body image problem that still persists. I admire your resiliance and your loyalty to your family despite everything, you worked to support them. Being shy and reserved is not a crime, in fact some say it is a sign of intelligence. Maybe because the energy of the brain is not used up in speaking useless gibberish all the time.
I was unemployed for a year...nearly gave up...but i found something that is atleast helping me see the brighter side of life. If you want someone to talk to you can email me at Good luck, and remember you are still young and have your health. A lot of people over here have either not one or both of them. Cheers
By Bella Luna at 06,Apr,12 06:10

Hi there,

thanks for writing, this helps. I'm a positive person and I've been bravely facing this tough phase, however at times there comes a moment when u just give up cause all ur efforts to keep that smile and have that positive attitude goes to waste. yeah i totally agree with you i do have health and m still young. and this is not the end of the world. the best is yet to come.
thanks again

By anonymous at 04,Apr,12 15:20

i am in a very similar situation. i have no car i am on unemployment so i am broke. where i am living isnt even close to public transportation and i dont have reliable people in my life to help me out. i feel like i cant even get out and work because i have no way of getting there. i have never had an easy life but this has gotten me so depressed that sometimes i dont think there is another side. i just keep telling myself that it has to get better thats the only thing it can do at this point. i hope that your life gets better soon. i will keep you in my thoughts. bless you
By Bella Luna at 06,Apr,12 06:12


don't be all depressed, nothing remains constant really. this bad phase will get over soon for you mate. just don't get too caught up with depression. t.c

By anonymous at 05,Apr,12 08:26

i would like to same something.
never give yourself any time when you feel the need to think for you.
help others & u will feel so good. believe me dear !!
By Bella Luna at 06,Apr,12 06:14


that's very true what you said to me. i believe in good karma. i have neva hurt anyone and i always make it a point to be there for ppl who need help. bless you. t.c

By anonymous at 06,Apr,12 11:11

call me 9015695574

By anonymous at 06,Apr,12 11:38

b my friend

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