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what am i gonna do with my life????

Posted by anonymous at October 9, 2010
Tags: Meaninglessness  2010 October

My life sucks because i have no goal in life. I tried to find something to achieve, but i always failed because on the way i realized that it wasnt what i really wanted. Then i tried to do something different but the same thing happened. Now i know that i have no clue about what i wanna do with my life. All i have experienced so far, were jobs i never wanted, forced to do by my parents who never stopped complaining about me, sitting and not beginning a career like i should. its not that im lazy or anything, i never stopped working, as a waiter in restaurants or cafeterias, as a receptionist in hotels, as a manager in parkings or as an employer in a house-selling company. Its just that after a year i would quit from all these jobs. because i felt miserable spending 9 hours per day doing a job i hated. Now (forced again by my parents) im working as a flight attendant for an airline, and after 5 months i really wanna quit again. I just had enough. I know ill go back to zero, ill have to start all over again, and end up quitting again, cos i wont like what i will be doing again. Are there other people experiencing the same thing? Or is it just me? Oh, i also quit college after one year, cos i realized that i didnt wanna get a degree or anything.
I really feel like i dont want anything in my life, on a career-job level, but the fact that im forced to earn my own money, makes me get jobs that only make me more and more miserable and i end up always quitting. What should i do?
(please, no ironic answers to my question, they simply....wont help....)
Ahhm, that's it, thats my reality.


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New Comment

By Jim Bob at 01,Oct,12 19:59

I'm 31 and feel in the same boat.

Did college til 18 in some pretty boring subjects, got bored so decided to follow my passion in music, went to music college for 3 years and got in a band.

We did pretty well and toured a lot but never made a proper breakthrough, we all did bar jobs and stuff when not touring to get us through, so when all that ended, I guess I got on a big downer.

I've since done a degree in computing, for god knows what reason, just cos I liked making websites I suppose. I did a job in Computing for 18 months and hated it, hated the sitting in offices, not speaking, sat with boring people.

So having left that behind, I'm now stuck as to what to do next. I have a feeling I am the sort of person who will never find my place, or happiness. Maybe I am just a depressive type of person who can't see enough light in anything to really bother and put my full energies into anymore.

I really hate the pressure of having to earn 'x' amount of money just to survive and pay for food/bills. I find a lot of things very boring, people seem too happy with mundane lives - I guess I am looking for something more, something with real value and depth. I'll let you know if I find it!

By anonymous at 20,Oct,12 19:52

me to im 57

By Jason at 22,Oct,12 17:48

i'm 37. i feel the same way. maybe it's because i'm a gemini or something. lol i've heard we always like to try different things and never can find our place in life. i dunno man. i went to college and couldn't decide on a major so i quit. i was in a band during that time playing the bass guitar. i had high hopes of us making it big like most kids would. you know i was following my dreams and all hoping to have a meaningful life. anyways you guessed it we didn't make it. so the mundane normal life set in. i had factory jobs and such and hated every minute of it. i even got a really good paying job at an auto plant but it was the worst 6 years of my life. i hated it. i mean it just felt so worthless. why work so hard and make alot of money just to pay some bills? it just makes no sense and it's not enough motivation for me. i'm not married and have no kids so i have noone to support except me. i've just always wanted to do something that meant something. i am not satisfied just going to a job every day and then coming home and sitting on the couch watching tv and then going to bed. i mean seriously what kind of life is that? i guess that is a normal life and i wish i could be happy doing it but i'm not. i just end up asking myself why do i do this every day? why do i get up early in the morning(which i hate) just to go work 8-10 hrs a day at a job i hate just to pay some bills to make ends meet? it's just like a rat race with no rhyme or reason to it. maybe that's just what life is. i dunno. i'm a christian and go to church and try to live for God and all. my band was even a christian rock band. i thought surely that's what God wanted me to do with my life. surely He wants us to follow our dreams and such??? I dunno but it didnt' work out so i guess it just wasn't meant to be. maybe i'm just weird? maybe i'm just living in a dream world and can't face reality? i dunno. maybe i just can't accept reality the way it is? maybe life just sucks and then you die? lol i dunno man. i used to get really depressed about it years ago but i'm at the point now where i don't even get depressed anymore. i'm just like numb to it all. i have a hard time finding meaning in anything anymore. growing up i always wanted to get married and have kids and all. i came from a great family. no divorced parents or anything. both my brother and my sister are married to people. i just can't seem to find my place in life. what is the deal? is it middle child syndrome or something? lol i don't think anyone can answer these questions. people that aren't like us don't understand us. they always suggest things that are totally opposite from what we want in life. they are like try this job or date this person and i'm thinking to myself what are they thinking? do they actually think i would like those things? it's like i live in my own world or something and i don't think like everyone else. i wish i could find the answer but i think there just isn't an answer. it's like the million dollar question. if you find the answer to this then you can save the whole world from meltdown. i think people like us will just never be totally satisfied no matter what. it's not that we are lazy but we aren't workaholics either. it's not that we don't care because we probably care more than anyone else does. perhaps we could change the world if only given the opportunity??? i think people like us often get overlooked or pushed aside for favor of other people out there in the world. i'm a shy person and not a people person although i'm nice to everyone i meet. i don't like stress. i want to live a peaceful life. i don't like to be in a hurry all of the time. i just want a life that doesn't exist in this one i guess??? is that what we are all longing for??? this may sound crazy but alot of times i'm scared of talking to people too deeply about things because i'm afraid i'll get them to be as screwed up as i am lol. i want to spare them. i dunno what it is??? are we just smarter than other people in the world or are we dumber or are we made dumb by being too smart??? lol i guess ignorance is bliss like they say. it would be better to be dumb and completely content with your life.
By Jason at 22,Oct,12 18:49

forgot to say i currently have my own lawn business. i've been doing that for 2 years while living with my parents again waiting for things to get off the ground. while i have made some money it's just not enough to make a living on my own yet. i'm making about $15k a year right now. my previous job i was making $50k a year and had my own house and all. while it sucks not having money i'm alot happier now than i ever was back then. for some reason though when you find something that you like or "can deal with" on a daily basis there is some other factors that always come into play like not making enough money therefore forcing you to go back out there and get a job that you no longer like again. lol it's like a no win situation man. i'll probably end up getting another job i hate due to the lack of money from my current business. it's just funny though how the same kind of business works for other people yet it refuses to work out for me? maybe it would but i don't have 10 years to wait until i finally make enough money to support myself. i should've started when i was younger but i mean really who thinks about being in lawn care when they are out of high school? not most people. you start off having higher dreams and hopes for your life making lots of money or whatever. i dunno what it is. it just seems nothing ever falls into place so to speak. it's always at the wrong time or it could work in another situation but doesn't wanna work in the present one. i can't say i love my business i'm in currently. i mean it's just a job like all of the others but at least working for myself has it's benefits. i can "deal" with it. i'm not saying it's my dream job or anything but neither is anything else. the other jobs i've had i just get to the point where i'm like man this sucks so bad i'd rather live on the streets than work here. lol i mean it really gets that bad. i dunno why it does.
By Jason at 22,Oct,12 21:29

i think what it all boils down to is like in the Matrix movie.

we are all wild, insane, crazy, out of control idiots and life takes us and tries to make us into a battery or a robot. it's totally against our nature. that is why we all have a problem with it and that is why it makes us miserable. it's just a curse i guess. i guess when adam and eve ate the apple it ruined life for all of us. it's just hard to keep going and to stay positive through it all. it's so depressing to think about it. we all just wanna get out of here and get past this junk. all we can do is try to stay reasonably happy while going through this life. it's not easy that's for sure.

By at 24,Oct,12 21:24

Hey I have a emptiness in me. I'm 17 an if I don't do Somthing now I'll end up like the rest of you what did you guys do wrong so I don't make the same mistake. I need to know so I can amount to Somthing and make my parents proud and what not lol?!?

By anonymous at 29,Nov,12 13:16

same as guys im 30 in 3 months ,crap job in a phone store ,renting but have a loving girlfriend who i would love to get a house with ,but am never gonna get that the way i am now left collge at 21 no degree worked crap jobs every since,i just want to do some thing i love so much ,cause if i dont change my life and thoughts soon i just know im gonna end up a very very unhappy man!!!!!!!!!!!!

By anonymous at 25,Dec,12 01:41

Seriously man do what I do. Work a horrible shit job for seven or eight months, save as much as you can, and then hike the Appalachian Trail or the Pacific Crest Trail, doesn't matter if your not fit, it sucks at first then your body gets used to it. Doing these hikes makes you feel good, or at least better about yourself. Theres tons of information out there on them.

By anonymous at 28,Jan,13 02:09

46 years old and I still don't know what to do.

Life is a treadmill - it really is a rat race. I've been so far down this path I even bought the game 'Ratrace'!

I just don't know. There seem to be so many people, all hurting but even helping them find their own way doesn't pay enough to cover the rent. And I've got a piece of paper that says i'm qualified to 'help people'. We can't all be brain surgeons, that I do know but I can't even teach Yoga and make it pay.

If every body is looking then i've got to ask, what is it we are looking for?

By marco at 15,Mar,13 17:26

i hear you man. even with a college degree right now i'm kinda frustrated beause i really don't want to go back to the working world. i got this bachelors degree then i got a masters in technology and i had no idea that i would hate the IT world. i recently went to the navy because i had no direction in life, now i'm at least able to go back to school because the navy gave me some money for college. but in 6 months, i'll have to go back and get a job, having to find work sucks ass. but i don't wanna have to work for someone else, i wanna work for myself. i don't know, this capitalist system sucks. we all get forced into working jobs we don't wanna do and get paid peanuts, we're fucking slaves and i hate that stupid shit.

By anonymous at 24,Apr,13 07:24

Hello. Yes your not alone.
I have found several ways help cope. On my end. And it usually helps push me through.
1. I try and read finacial books like. Think and grow rich. For one.
It seems to help keep my mind on the goal that I want see the world and it takes money and sacrrifice.
2 its wierd but I found meditating works wonders. Find a temple and get the free books to learn about.
3. Throw a party !! Have fun. My favorite

Idk I find my self all the time quiting jobs I am lucky to be in a union so when I ask to get laid off I get unenjoyment. It fits my wanting to quit ever couple years or 6 months. Lol.

Well good luck and trust throw a party! Nothing makes you feel as cool.!B-)

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