Most children have a dream, something to aspire to as they grow up. If those children have solicitous parents, they are guided, nurtured, and prodded along that road to self-discovery. In a perfect world, those dreams align with a child's interests, passions, and talents. Those children are the lucky ones. I only had one dream, to get married and raise a family. However, no one has ever been interested in me. So, at the age of thrity, I decided to go back to school and find another road. As it turns out, there are no other roads. There is nothing out there for me. Talents? None. Nurturing parents? No. Family all aroung me suffering and engaged in their own problems. Who was it that said something about people living lives of quiet desperation? Those were my parents, and that is me right now. Female, 38 years old, obese, balding, unemployed, in debt up to my ears, and no way out of any of this. Most women have a father, a brother, or a husband to look after them, to "take up the slack", to plow the eighteen inches of snow out of their driveways in the morning, to help keep the bank roll rolling. Not me. I have an aging mother who lives on less than my unemployment checks and even together we cannot pay our bills. I don't want my life to revolve around how I am going to feed my mother and keep a roof over her head. I want my life to revolve around a purpose, but I have no purpose. There are charities and government sponsered programs to help children, the sick, the aged, battered women, unwed mothers... who thinks to help the woman who is simply ALONE. | |
Is there a trade or skill that you want to learn? If it means going back to school, bite the bullet and do it.
If you could focus mentally on what you want, begin and a door will open.
This is coming from somone who has came through depression. I am still lonely at times. I am an only child. Never knew my father.
Trust me. Make a list of the things that you want with a date. For example, I want to pay off my debt of $10,000 in 5 years.
The universe owes you a living not the world.
When you've done that for a week, start changing how you eat. More vegetables, less carbs. Don't bother counting calories, just eat less sugar, bread and pasta, and replace them with fruits and vegetables. Keep the meats the same.
In 90 days, take a look at yourself and see if you like yourself better. I bet you will...
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