| | Posted by D at March 12, 2010 |
I'm in college and am hanging by on a scholarship that's slowly starting to fade away as my grades drop. Why are my grades dropping? Well, I was fired from my job without warning because I bad mouthed a customer behind the scenes. Now my bank account has about $900 left and I haven't been able to find a job in over 5 months now.
I've been violently sick for the past couple of days, thereby missing school and furthering the chance of my grades dropping. My parents think I'm faking it even though I've been throwing up everything I've eaten the last three nights. I even tried going to school yesterday but you know that little thing about stomach flues where aside from throwing up, you also get really bad diarrhea? I couldn't take it anymore and had to go back home.
Again, my parents think I'm faking it and began to make fun of me. Now I'm looked down upon by my younger sister who's had a job and kept it much longer than me, she's got more money than I have ever had, she's healthy and she has a boyfriend. Did I mention I've never had a girlfriend?
It's not that I'm unattractive, I'm just uncomfortable with starting conversations. I've been with plenty of girls, but I never think I'm good enough and so I never ask the girl out again.
God, I'm depressed. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 11, 2010 |
I'm in college and I could graduate next year if I wanted. I have never had a girlfriend, I have met tons of girls and I haven't ever been so lucky to get even one girl to go out to lunch with me. From my world, I am a totally normal guy just like anyone else except everyone else seems to have luck. I don't even have any real friends up here in college, never had. Everyday I ignore this little fact and if I do happen to think about it, I have mental breakdowns. I almost killed myself today, but then I thought the one thing I have going for me is physics grad school. I envy the people who are depressed about breaking up, at least history shows they'll find someone else. Its like whatever it is about me that people don't like, will follow me around for the rest of my life; there is nothing that I could ever do about it. I've tried so hard to change that, but nothing works. I will die a lonely person with only my parents burry me. I'm 90% sure that if I don't get into med school, physics grad, or whatnot; I will probably kill myself. I WANT TO LIVE MY NEW LIFE NOW. |
| | Posted by Lydia at March 10, 2010 |
I don't know how to continue. My husband died last year and no one has called me since the funeral. If I call my brother and ask for something, he and his wife helps, but they never call me. But if I start to cry they just sit there and wait for me to stop. They do not know how to console. It will soon be a year since my soulmate left me and I do not know if I can go on. I don't see my daughter anymore althought she doesn't live very far away. My son who has moved to another town, 2 hours away comes often. My husband thought he had friends but when he got ill he was surprised that no one called. He was surprised that it was so quiet. the phone didn't ring unless it was from the doctor or the nurse. For 21 months I took care of him as well as I could, but I never felt that I did enough. I had to change his diet as not to stain his body too much. I helped him get dressed, I helped him take small walkes, I helped him change his night clothes and I changed the sheets in the middle of the night when the medicine made him perspire so much so that the mattress was soaked, I observed te nurses at a clinic massage his feet and did that as often as my own back would allow me, after a year his toenails finally looked normal, I helped when he needed to change the second stomi the first one he took care of himself most of the time, I watched the tumor grow outside his body and could figure out how it grew inside, which other organs it pushed on and took over, I watched his arms ge thinner and his legs. I watched him take his last breath. And none of his friends seem to miss him. What is a friend. When my mother died, two months earlier, many of her friends called and wrote to me, she had friends. But I no one seem to miss me nor my husband. |
| | Posted by greafster at March 10, 2010 |
I am 30 years old and started smoking green at about 18. Even though i finished high school i wasnt relly interested in it. I starting sufing and skating and excelled at both, going in comps and life was great. I was introduced to selling green on the side and making money, then i started groing it hydrponically where i started to make shitloads of money. My family was totally against it, i am palestinain and my family are anti-drugs..my siblings are university graduates..so ia am like the black sheep. Getting into the selling green scene introduced me to other drugs..meth, extasy, coke..which meant fast cash, fast girls, and partying all night. However, this also meant being around some very hard people..bikies, asian and middle eastern gangs members..i wasnt part of any gang, i was doing it with a couple close friends but aminly on my own..so i had to take lots of precaurtions and staying strapped (carrying a gun).
After a few years of this, the drugs started to take its toll on my mind and body..paranoia, lack of sleep, just skitzn in general. After being up for three days on eggs and coke, i was introduced to heroin to take the edge off and get some rest. From there my life went down hill..i didnt think just smoking it would get me addicted..but it did..I blew about $100,000 in a year and a half, and started getting sloppy with my hydroponic business. I finally got caught last year with 50 plants indoor, and about 20 pound of green. With the verfy real possibilty of jail time, i opted to go to drug court, which involves home detention and regular piss tests for 6months. I look at it as a positive as ive now been clean for 2months and am getting my life back.
The moral of this story is that money and drugs do not make you happy..as i know i was taking drugs to mask deeper issues..and there is a better way to live life..im going to university this year doing environmental science which i have always been passionate about. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 10, 2010 |
Wife said I should have gotten a better job-even though she and most of the people she knows have lost theirs....
No sex since 2003...
Balding, gaining weight, empty wallet, not well endowed....
Almost 50 and nothing to show for it.
But hey-still got a cold one in the fridge! |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 9, 2010 |
I'm a 42 year old kidney cancer survior (only one kidney now) with no health insurance, no money, no job (layed-off six months ago) and my wife of 20 years cheated on me and left me recently.
I've been living off my fucking credit cards which have now put me deeply in debt. I also own nothing of value and have no savings.
I'm living alone in a one bedroom apartment and have no support system of any kind.
My best and only friend died of a herion overdose 10 years ago and I really don't have anyone else (except my cheating wife). I don't even know anyone in the piss-ant town where I have now lived for 2 years.
I have no friends, no family to speak of, and live 1500 miles from my closest relative.
My rent is paid until the end of the month (credit card) and then I'm completely screwed.
I can no longer juggle the bills and my cards are now maxed out.
I applied for food stamps a month ago but I have yet to receive any assistance and no one at DSS will even let me know WTF is going on.
I'm due for cancer testing in April (which I cannot afford) but that is the least of my worries. (I actually HOPE I have cancer again.)
I'm skilled, but I haven't even be able to find a job washing dishes.
Soon my leased car will be repo'ed and by the end of the month my credit will be in the shitter.
I would beg God to help (or maybe to mercifully kill me) but I'm an Atheist.
I am in utter dispair, I struggle not to break down each minute as painful thoughts and emotions flood my thoughts, I am horribly lonely, can't sleep, have no food, and feel like the invisible man.
Could be worse right? LOL
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| | Posted by depressed at March 9, 2010 |
this past few weeks were the Hardest for me,I just started to feel how worthless and meaningless my life is.nobody knows how sad I am,every1 thought that I am ok but the truth is I am not.Now i am starting to lose hope in everything,Although I know I am trying to make my life better but nothing is happening.I just realize that its getting worse since this past few Days I've been crying everytime I think of my problems,and just this morning I was talking on the phone with my Dad,he was giving me advises about my recent dissapointment then suddenly I started crying again.I tried to sound ok so he wouldnt notice it,because my family knew that Im not a cry baby,I dont want them to think that I am this weak person and I dont want them to worry about me,but the thing is,Im really suffering soo much now,I've been thinking of just ending my life so I wont have to suffer that much but the only thing that is hholding me back is my family..I dont want them to take the burden because of me but I still feel that I am not really helping them that much..i just dont have any clue what to do w/ my life...and sharing this w/ everyone makes me feel so emotional.. |
| | Posted by Buddy. at March 8, 2010 |
The world has gone to hell.
Family crazy.
lost my job.
broke my legs.
all of my friends are dead.
Igive up.
Have a happy day.
Because I can't.
life is gone.
I quit.
Buddy.
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| | Posted by anonymous at March 8, 2010 |
Im a guy im turning 18. my school life sucks. all cuz back in primary i had this pimples madness and some kids even point finger at me as they laugh. as they heal i became anti-socialist and i hate rich people the most, i juz..feel like raping them. i love fantasy stuff that only achievable when im dead. i joined the local gang so i can git sum jits to help my parents pay the bills. the chinese gangs had once captured me and beat me up till i lost my right eye, my boss were pissed off cuz one of his boy got blinded so he sent few of my friends to teach those chinks a lesson..as a result..my friends went to prison and one of them commit suicide in there. my high school ended..and i cant find a job..so last week i decided to shoplift a few stuff and bail through the emergency staircases..mum went crazy shit over it..and dad told me to run cuz the police were looking for me..i felt FUCKED...i wanted to help them..now im juz..fucked. i went to my friend place..and he told me that now im a fugitive im juz as well delve it deeper. he gave me a gun a beretta and planning to rob a place he knows which got a pretty lot of stash.. the robbery gonna start 2 days from now..i need the money to get out tis country..i need the money..i always needed the money..its get the money. or die trying..thats why i hate rich people..they got it. but they juz fucking take it all for granted..if i were to die. i WILL kill one of them..i swear..tis will probably my last or my 1st. i aint gonna say be strong or shit cuz everyone knows thats bullshit. how can u be strong over sum shit that juz fucked up and its your life. maybe death in trying. isnt such a bad ending for me, if i survived n managed to run off through another country. i make a decent life i swear, but now, its get the money. or die.
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| | Posted by nope at March 7, 2010 |
did some stupid shit when i was drunk.. the authorities thought i was attempting suicide/ was troubled. while under sedatives in the hospital i told the girl i liked and had been hanging out with that she makes me sad.. which didnt convey the right message i supoose i was trying to send. so authorities forced us to cut off communication and now i have to go to a psychologist every week.. all cause i got drunk. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 5, 2010 |
I'm going to get right to the point. I'm thirteen so I apologize for the grammer and spelling.
-My mom left me and my little brother 6 years ago.
-Dad is a drunk.
-Dad is abusive.
-Sister ran away 2 years ago. (She would be 16 now)
-Best friend attemped suicide.
-I already dropped out of school.
-Pregnant with a child of rape. (He will be born on May 7)
-Living in a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house.
-Dad lost his job.
-No other family to move in with.
-I cut myself.
-I am always getting beat up by my neighbors.
-I hate myself.
-Dad calls me a slut, whore, ect.
Now you know. |
| | Posted by robbie at March 5, 2010 |
Would every one who comes on this site and has nothing but negative comments to say to people PLEASE stop? If someone thinks that their LIFE SUCKS ,for whatever reason that my be, let them vent about it without having to be ridiculed or made fun of, or worse, make them think that they brought it on their self. And maybe some people do bring it on themselves. But shoving it in their face is not the way to help. How about 'If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.'
(the first paragraph is meant to be firm and the rest is meant to be informitive in the nicest possible way that can I can say it)
And for every one out there who belives that when someone is depressed or sad that they should just go to a movie or hang out with someone, that doesn't always (usually) work. When someone has depression it can be from losing someone, or work problems, or other stuff. It may also be that they have a chemical imbalance in their brain. Unfortunately besides medication, which may have sucky side-effects, the things that help alot are eating good and excersing and social interaction and other healthy things. But when ' you' are depressed, even though those things may help, you have LITERALLY no motivation to do it. Someone telling you to do it does not usually work, because in reality some one who has no motivation, just really doesn't care.
I am not saying don't give advice. I just want people to realize that it is really hard when you are depressed to care about doing anything, even if you know that stuff will help. It my sound dumb, but unfortunately that is the reality of it. And just because it sounds stupid does not change the fact that it is the truth. I guess I am saying just be sympathtic and realize that just cause it may work for you, it may not work for someone else. Especially when someone feels that they have nothing to live for. |
| | Posted by Billy at March 4, 2010 |
To continue my previous story, let me say what sums up our shitty lives.
If you were abused (verbally, physically, sexually), the message you parents give you (most frequent abusers)is that you´re a piece of shit that deserves to be abused.
The child thinks "this must be true, I must of done something to deserve the abuse, I´m a worthless piece of shit". Then the child grows up and keeps on getting abused ´cause he thinks he deserves it. Here´s the logic:
Parents treated you like shit--you think you are shit--you let everyone treat you like shit. This sums up most of the stories in this site.
This doesn´t stop here. Unless you fix your head with psychoanalysis, since you think you´re shit, all you do is shit. So you have kids, and since they are your creation, they must be shit just like you. So you treat your kids like shit, a vicious cycle of abuse. And it will go on forever, unless someone has the balls to get their head fixed with the psychoanalyst.
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| | Posted by Billy at March 4, 2010 |
Verbal, psychological, physical and sexual abuse produce deep wounds and configure emotional patterns that we act on compulsively. That explains why we as abused people always put ourselves in abusive situations. Take for example a story I read here, a girl that got passed the date-rape drug 3 times. ¿How about going out in group dates with friends after the first rape, until you get to know the person?
But no, exposure to hurtfull situations that confirm our inadequacy are unconsciously longed for and lived over and over again. Therfore, if your life sucks due to abuse, it will suck forever. It will never change, because abuse produced neurosis when you were small, and that is a disease which doesn´t go away by itself. You´re doomed.
There is only one solution. Psychoanalysis. NOT PSYCOTHERAPY, but orthodox freudian analysis. There are however some con´s to it:
-its very expensive
-it hurts so fucking much your gonna wish you were never born.
-there´s no garantees you´ll be strong enough to face your problems or be able to go through the process
-its slow, might take years, even decades
The pro´s are obvious. It´s the only kind of psychological intervention that can really change you fucked up brain. It´s the only way out. Forget meditation,anger managment, new age bull shit, counting to ten and breathing deep and all that "feel better in 10 days" bull shit. Its either that or watching your life go down the drain. And forget regular psycotherapy, its like make up: it makes you feel pretty only for a few hours, but doesn´t change shit inside. Good luck in this fucked up world and life |
| | Posted by enigma at March 3, 2010 |
so nothing in my life is going according to plan...for the most part i'm totally starting back at square one. i'm smart, but not a genius. i'm stressed about starting law school....i've always had a certain life style so i feel stress about making money and maintaining it. but whenever i get down i think to myself at least i have one thing going for me. i am really really pretty.
everyone has something their proud of. cling to that one thing and things will be ok. now if my life sucked and i was ugly, then i just don't know what i would do. but thankfully i'm not. |
| | Posted by john doe at March 2, 2010 |
wow... read a bunch of stories here.. i gotta say i feel very bad for some people, it is craziness..
life sucks because the system is all for the rich people, upperclass, the real men founders of the banks, created our monetary system to enslave humanity..
they have control over the world system, they built this prison planet, they created society there way..
they have taken our true freedom.. freewill.. people are struggling because of money.. people are starving , people are dying, people are homeless, people are going crazy... nobody needs to suffer on earth.. but the elites that rules our world dont give a shit about us.. they want us to hate eachother..
life is confusing, remains a mystery.. people will never know the truth..we live in a world of lies.. the real world is nothing compare to this life.. real world is only love, peace, freedom, everyone will be there one day..
my life does not suck compare to these stories here, but it sucks enough to a point where i dont want to live on this evil world anymore.. i want to sleep n never wake up..
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| | Posted by Echo at March 1, 2010 |
My life sucks hardcore. my granma just died and im wresling with the fact that im addicted to alcohol and drugs. i take drugs to forget that my brother sexualy abused me for six years and now is physicaly abusing me. i have to move out in two months, my ex is harrasing me im thinking about dropping out of school because im pregnant. oh did i mention that im only 15? i might just end it all. FFFFFUUUCCCKKK you life and those who broght me into it |
| | Posted by Hillbilly Wife at March 1, 2010 |
I was always told that God will give you no more than your shoulders can bear. I am about to disagree. I In the last year and a half, both of my parents have passed away, my son has been moved to an alternative school placement setting, my son hates his step-father and my husband hates my son, and last but not least...my husband wanted to commit suicide and has checked himself into a mental ward.
On top of that my husband has depression and is an alcoholic, my son has ADHD, my brother/best friend is bi-polar, I work wtih autistic kids all day and I am a foster parent for two kids with their own issues. I am also a church council member, youth group advisor and high school drama coach.
My husband complains about his "shitty" life...he went from living in a holler in the Appalachian mountains with no running water, no indoor plumbing surrounded by deadbeats and alcoholics...to living in a nice 4 bedroom home that we both can afford, working at a job that he enjoys, living with a loving and understanding wife. His biggest complaint is helping raise my two teenage children. Yes, they are pains in the butts, but I challenge anyone to find two teenage siblings, 2 years apart who can't push buttons. He is an officer on our local fire department.
I have been supportive and strong and understanding. I continually try to help my husband and son learn how to like each other. They love each other, they just don't get along most of the time. I just pray for one day of "normalcy" in my life. No one fighting, no one dying, everyone getting along. I know I brought most of this onto myself, but why can't they see how hard I work for them and give a little back?
Every which way I turn...it is nothing but drama, I am SICK OF IT! How's that for drama? |
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