I don't know how to continue. My husband died last year and no one has called me since the funeral. If I call my brother and ask for something, he and his wife helps, but they never call me. But if I start to cry they just sit there and wait for me to stop. They do not know how to console. It will soon be a year since my soulmate left me and I do not know if I can go on. I don't see my daughter anymore althought she doesn't live very far away. My son who has moved to another town, 2 hours away comes often. My husband thought he had friends but when he got ill he was surprised that no one called. He was surprised that it was so quiet. the phone didn't ring unless it was from the doctor or the nurse. For 21 months I took care of him as well as I could, but I never felt that I did enough. I had to change his diet as not to stain his body too much. I helped him get dressed, I helped him take small walkes, I helped him change his night clothes and I changed the sheets in the middle of the night when the medicine made him perspire so much so that the mattress was soaked, I observed te nurses at a clinic massage his feet and did that as often as my own back would allow me, after a year his toenails finally looked normal, I helped when he needed to change the second stomi the first one he took care of himself most of the time, I watched the tumor grow outside his body and could figure out how it grew inside, which other organs it pushed on and took over, I watched his arms ge thinner and his legs. I watched him take his last breath. And none of his friends seem to miss him. What is a friend. When my mother died, two months earlier, many of her friends called and wrote to me, she had friends. But I no one seem to miss me nor my husband. | |
I would suggest you talk to your famliy and see what their problem is becuase they should have been there for you more than what they had given. I and others do not know what the deal is, so this is something that you should address to them.
There is a process to grief and losing your husband is a huge blow right? Do you have a support network? No, not by your post. Do you have a stable support of others? No, not by your post.
Go t a professional counselor. That is what we are there for, and we are free. Please seek professional help.
Love the Psych Doc
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