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Could Be Worse

Posted by anonymous at March 9, 2010
Tags: Health  Loneliness  2010 March  Money  Unemployment

I'm a 42 year old kidney cancer survior (only one kidney now) with no health insurance, no money, no job (layed-off six months ago) and my wife of 20 years cheated on me and left me recently.

I've been living off my fucking credit cards which have now put me deeply in debt. I also own nothing of value and have no savings.

I'm living alone in a one bedroom apartment and have no support system of any kind.

My best and only friend died of a herion overdose 10 years ago and I really don't have anyone else (except my cheating wife). I don't even know anyone in the piss-ant town where I have now lived for 2 years.

I have no friends, no family to speak of, and live 1500 miles from my closest relative.

My rent is paid until the end of the month (credit card) and then I'm completely screwed.

I can no longer juggle the bills and my cards are now maxed out.

I applied for food stamps a month ago but I have yet to receive any assistance and no one at DSS will even let me know WTF is going on.

I'm due for cancer testing in April (which I cannot afford) but that is the least of my worries. (I actually HOPE I have cancer again.)

I'm skilled, but I haven't even be able to find a job washing dishes.

Soon my leased car will be repo'ed and by the end of the month my credit will be in the shitter.

I would beg God to help (or maybe to mercifully kill me) but I'm an Atheist.

I am in utter dispair, I struggle not to break down each minute as painful thoughts and emotions flood my thoughts, I am horribly lonely, can't sleep, have no food, and feel like the invisible man.

Could be worse right? LOL


Similar Entries:
WHY? April 27, 2010
Hate's self August 2, 2010
Seriously? March 27, 2012
Life sucks, and seems to be getting worse  March 18, 2012
does it get better? January 24, 2012

New Comment

By anonymous at 09,Mar,10 20:06

Get your cancer check-up and then file bankruptcy. It is the only way you can make it. You said you have nothing of real value, so you have nothing to lose. That will fix your short term debt situation. Let the leased car go because you cannot afford it. Live as cheaply as you possibly can and squirrel away every penny you can to buy a car that you will pay cash for. Forget about credit, it sucks anyway. After your bankruptcy, learn from your mistakes. Save money, avoid debt. When you WANT something (not need), pay cash. You will learn to get the best deals and you will really evaluate how much you really want that item. Credit cards make it too easy and it's easy to fall back into the same trap....don't! I was buried in bad business & personal debt and I filed 5 years ago. It is one of the BEST things I have ever done. I now own a house, new car and have no other debt even though I have a credit card. I have more cash saved now than ever and I have more cash to spend on what I want because I'm not paying high interest on a credit card. You can get through this my friend, but it won't be easy.
By anonymous at 10,Mar,10 06:40

Thank you.

By anonymous at 09,Mar,10 20:08

I know some ass will point out that I bought a new car instead of paying cash for one. I did pay cash for a $1500. car after my bankruptcy and I actually wish I had kept it instead of going in debt for a new one. Less debt equals more freedom and less income required to survive.
By anonymous at 10,Mar,10 06:40

Thank you

By anonymous at 09,Mar,10 21:48

The last comment is right..file for bankruptcy it will be a weight lifted off your shoulders..i suffer social anxiety so find it hard to meet people and am also a recovering heroin addict, get ot of your comfort zone and do something you wouldnt normally do to meet people, there is always a bright spot in the end of a dark tunnel.
By anonymous at 10,Mar,10 06:41

Thank you

By anonymous at 09,Mar,10 23:53

Get the cancer checkup, if you are without insurance perhaps you can go to a county hospital or find a hospital that offers financial relief. File bankrupcy. If you know someone buying a new car and they have a trade in, offer to buy their trade in for like $500-$1000 because they wont get crap for it from the dealership. Stay on DFS you must follow up for your food aide, food pantries may help. try facebook to find old buddies...Bless you I can relate to much of what you are experiencing...

By anonymous at 16,Mar,10 11:53

Forget the county hospital. File for bankruptcy and do it through a legal aid service.

Try to show that you are willing to pay off debts through loan consolidation.

Then go to a public psychological counselor. Get your head and emotions right. Surviving cancer is a badge of honor, but many survivors cling to the suffering. You know what I mean. My sister is an Oncologist and I am a Psychiatrist.

In all I hope all works out well, and it will. Keep positive and work toward solutions.

Love the Psych Doc

By anonymous at 28,Mar,10 02:21

I'm athiest to.. Don't you feel alone? Like no ones there? There's no one to thank or talk to, no one to smile for or live for.

By anonymous at 23,Jun,10 00:31

don't you feel great you survived cancer? look at the life you have now. probably would be better if you didn't survive. much less stress.

By Wood at 16,Apr,11 01:50

I'm out of laeuge here. Too much brain power on display!

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