here it is..
my life sucks. i live oceans away from my family. i can't go back 'cause there are no jobs. i'm married. i have endometriosis, can't have sex for the last 3 years, can't have kids-trying for years. all my friends are getting pregnant one by one. i hate the only job i was able to find here. i don't have close friends. english is not my first language- causes anxiety trying to understand others talk. i am anxious all the time- will lose sleep over many things. i have a sweating problem- can't socialize with people, can't do much with my hands. my mom thinks i could have done better in life- should have married a rich man and lived in a nice house close to her. constantly trying to please my family. my dad spent thousand and thousand dollars on my education. i havent become much in life, and not making enough money. started smoking again after several months of quitting. there is no one i can talk to about my issues, except my hubby who is also overwhelmed with my problems. i hate my job, i hate my life sometimes. i don't like the way i look. my friends back home brag about their jobs, husbands, etc. i try to keep up, but it is a lie. i don't even know what i want in life. i'm so lost. i try to meet other people's expectations all the time. can't stand up for myself. i want to disappear sometimes. before, i was partlydetached- now i feel like i'm totally gone- detached.