LIFE SUCKS : 2012 January

Joke's on me

55yr old male. worked same job since 1988, which was apt management/maintenance for the same apts. several different owners over the years. 2007 a neighboring church buys the place for the land. keeping it open til it pays itself off then they will demolish and expand the church (supposedly). they asked me to stay on and run the place for them, I agreed. 1 week before closing they call me and tell me to come meet the new mgmnt team. the lady is the church pastors cousin, her husband is a church board member and was their finance director. I now have to interview just to stay on as a maintenance guy. I get hired, it sucks. they are nutty and really have no clue what they are doing. they immediately start trying to recruit me to their church. he tells me I am stealing from god because I am not giving them 10% of my salary back in tithes.

a year later, he builds a new shop in one of the buildings. I am told to put my tools there, not where I have had them the past 19 years. he doesn't believe in deadbolts. you guessed it, the place is broken into and every one of my tools is gone. welder, compressors, nail guns, saws etc. high dollar shit. they say, oh well, too bad. I say turn it in to insurance, they say no, deductible is higher than your loss, sorry. a year later, the church hires a new GM for the properties. guess who gets fired, me. No tools to work with, age, finding it very difficult to find a damn job. unemployment ran out in may, have child support to pay ...

cursed or just bad luck?

my bestfriend who i considered my brother passed away about a month ago. before he has away we got into an argument and didnt talk for almost 2 months. i felt horrible for everything, ive also lost many friendships i recvently lost my job and been having money problems at home. my bestfriend is also going thru a hard time. she also lost her job and car and her relationship with her mother is the down the drain. her mother does not care about her and she gets kicked out of her house everyother day. we believe that we have been cursed. this has all been happening to us at the same time in a short period of time. does anyone know where we can go to see if we have been cursed and how they can cure it ?

you and i dont matter

i have read some really depressing things and all of them are exactly the same, but all of them hurt. i know i hurt.. everyone probably hurts so wtf do i have to do with anything. i know I'm struggling with something but i just dont know what, i dont know why i am sad, i dont know why i feel like crying everyday but just cant. and i try to relieve it, i try to tell people and do everything i can to help myself but it doesn't help. even typing this.. i fell as if it just makes me sadder. i dont want to be sad, i dont want to take medication for it, or have some sort of stupid disorder that labels me a useless bitch, just like my mom. its probably because I'm so weak. i would always hate the girls in shows that say there so depressed i would always think "god just stand on your own to feet and get over it!" and that's what i tell myself! so why cant i?
i cant even talk to people, i never let anyone get close to me, i push them away and thats why i am so excluded and why everyone thinks i am a freak. i cant do anything! karma is BS! i try so damn hard but i always fail!!! the only thing i love to do is write and even then i am bad at it. i cant do anything and i just cant get over it! i dont want to be the one who fails at life and who writes about there depressed life on some stupid web site. why cant i just get over it. i thought life was bad before, but for some reason all of a sudden my sister, the only one i care about leaves me and i am left being selfish and writing about how bad my life is when i know other people are so much worse off than me

"Young" & scared.

I'm 22 years old, I will be turning 23 this April. I won't be graduating with a B.A. like most of my friends.I currently got demoted from my job and my pay check has been reduced. My boyfriend left me without giving me any reason and I still live with my mother. I currently under probation in college and the fee for my classes have gone to 1,000 dollars for three credits one class. I've failed miserably in math throughout my whole life, I took biology thinking I could get a job in the medical field to find out that I have no passion for it. The only thing I'm really good at is painting and drawing it's the only thing that makes me happy, that gives my life some meaning. i get paid 150 dollars a week that's 600 for the month. Half of that money pays for a crappy car that I have to pay monthly and the other is for insurance. I'm left with 50 a month for food or to go out. I feel like a failure a loser and I'm still young. I have too much faith in myself but I'm too scared about what the future will hold. I'm pressured everyday about how time is slipping away and before I know it I will be thirty living with my mother. I'm sure I don't have it worse than others but I've been stuck in this funk for over a year. I don't know what happened to me, I was doing so well when I started college, I got really good grades and then everything seemed to slipped out of my hands. Then there are those days when I want to end it, but somewhere deep down in me there is a voice of reason. I just feel so tired and overwhelmed. i don't want to be a burden anymore, mom is the only one I have but I can't keep being her headache anymore.

I have no life

I was the most confident person on the planet. Then 10 years ago my girlfriend had a still birth with what would have been our 1st child. I had to be there for her whilst she was in labour for 9 hours, knowing the baby was not alive. It crushed me. I have a supposidly good job, teaching IT to delinquent children aged 14-16. I now have 2 boys and 1 girl. They are amazing, but I am constantly haunted by the loss of my 1st child. I have lost my mojo. I go to work and come home, same old routine every day. I used to play football 5 times a week. Now, if I play once a week then it is a big deal. No one cares about how the man feels when a child is lost. It's all about the woman. Whilst I appreciate that it was my partner that had the baby, I would of been it's amazing dad. I no longer smoke or drink. I am mr super boring. Lost Lost Lost.

sad girl

I am so unhappy in my life. i worked hard to get a career where people treat you bad every day. the money is vrap, i'm fover in debt and everyone around me assumes its all good. my boyfriend of 2 years, who i've been liveing with for the past year has gone for tempermental to abusive to the point where i have no energy to fight him when he lists all the ways i am useles and deficient. i hate my life. i don't know how to get out of it. i just want to disappear

Alone in greece..

I am 25 years old,obese and never was good with people.
I spent my last 6 years with a dysfunctional girl who was always jealous and controlling and cheated on me a few times as well.Why i did it?I loved her and i did not love myself.Still do love her but i can't take it anymore.

I had a few friends over the years but eventually everyone let me down..
Friends who dissapeared on you for no apparent reason.Betrayed you.

Now at my 25 years old i am:
Obese(although i am working on that at least since my appetite is non existent anymore)
Single and unable to find a girl due to a severe lack of social skills and bad appearance.(although they tell me thats not an issue,who knows..maybe it has to do with my confidence)
Alone since all my friends are far away and the ones i had here didn't amount to much eventually.
Unemployed since my work couldn't hold out due to the crisis.
My mother fights cancer for the third time in her life and i have no father or siblings.
We owe money to banks and some individuals because our work bunkrupted.
And to top it all of i got a crush for a girl who sees me as a friend(if she sees me as a friend at all)

I'm trying to be strong..if i had a girlfriend i could be strong and face all the problems.But its so difficult to do it all alone..

If anyone from greece wants to talk i'd be glad to.This is an e-mail i use some times.Rarely so i don't really care if there is any spam.
Solar-angelo@hotmail.com

My story

I'm originally from an asian country, I was living a lonely life in the US but I had a well paying stable IT job. I decided to go on the internet to find a match. I found this girl in Singapore and things seemed to be ok till she started insisting I find a job in Singapore and relocate there. Confused and scared I pulled out all the stops and by some fluke did find a job there. I moved to Singapore and married her within 6 months. I did not like the country at all - the work environment was horrible and the cost of living was thru the roof. So I begged and pleaded with my crazy wife to try the US where we could live better. I went thru all the trouble of sponsoring her green card, getting my old job in the US back and going there in advance to set up an apartment etc. She finally came to the US and after 9 months of giving me hell, forced me to give up my job and go back to Singapore. So here I am now back in Singapore with her and with no job. If there is a hell I think I'm in it.

Where's my break?

I'm sitin here rolling a bullet across my knuckles debating weather or not to do it but that's now and this is why I had a decent existence some could of called a life I had a few friends that I would die for knowing they would do the same for me I lived in a decent house I had a phone it was ok i was living but I guess it all started right around the age of thirteen my best friend and his sister moved out a town and I didn't even get to say good by iv always been a little socially akward I could never really carry a conversation im a little tongue tide and with out my friends I just slipped away and nobody really noticed me or if they did I never noticed my family dubbed me their scapegoat and every time they couldn't find anything no matter what it was be it change or their phone I was always blamed so I decided screw it why the hell not if I'm getting blamed for things I didn't do I might as well do it so I just started to take the change steal my dads smokes and every thing els they've accused me of doing I got busted shoplifting and I just let the pigs take me in I didn't say two words to any one the whole time I got bailed out and did my probation but I never stoped my family thought I was stealing their shit because I had to because " I was addicted" but they never understood even though i told them many times why I did it it was because they started blaming me for things that I didn't do so I figured if their going to blame me any way I might as well get the rewa...

What doesnt kill you will only make you stronger .... really????

People say what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.... I am not so sure about that. I am a 25 year old divorcee. My ex-husband and I got a divorce after he and my best friend of 10 years admitted that they had been having an affair for the last 3 years of my marriage. I started going back to school and had a nice group of friends and had an apartment that I shared with my sister and her kids. Things were starting to look up... I didn't have a boyfriend or anything but I was dating and going out and having fun. Then in February I was in a major car accident.... my grandpa died in April... and then I had to move in with my Grandma to take care of her. Since then I have now enrolled in online college... I don't work.... I don't go out.... I don't date.... I don't hang with friends.... I have a shitty life.

Everyone Leaves

Hi, there. Hope you've had a good day, but odds are if you're here, then you haven't. Please don't give up, from the bottom of my heart, I beg of you to keep on going.

I'm a 20 year old college boy, and I am so sick and tired of just having "pals". I'm not close to anyone, and it's tearing me up. I have no relationship with my dad, whatsoever, who is a very controlling and manipulative person. My mom goes through phases where she is the best mom in the world or she just gets hammered from 9am until she passes out, leaving me to do a lot of extra work ordinarily, but now that I'm in college I feel terrible because it falls onto my little sister, still living at home.

I grew up with a best friend, Peter. He and I were literally BEST friends. We cared about each other, we looked out for each other (I looked out for him more than he did for me, because I'm a year older), we got in trouble together, we beat the crap out of each other, and we always made it up to each other. Until he got addicted to drugs, stole tons of electronics and money from me and then sold it for more drugs. Now he still isn't straightened up, despite going to rehab maybe 5 times before he was 18. He is in college now, but he won't talk to me, because I asked him why he stopped being a best friend to me.

I had another best friend in high school, who died Sophomore year. We would ALWAYS hang out during school, and I lost him, and I miss him so much.

I had a best friend...

My Life

I joined the army, married my long time girlfriend (who also joined the army) and thought things were going great. I noticed while she was away on a two month course that our funds were draining extremely fast, as in 1400 in 1 month, while two of those weeks she was in the field (she is very good with money) and that it was usually in twos (two movie tickets, two dinners etc.) I confronted her with that but she said I was being a jerk and got mad at me. I let it go and when she returned she treated me like garbage, yelling at me for folding clothes wrong, not washing dishes the way she would have washed them (although she didn't) and that she did not like the way I made the bed (although again, she never made it). After several months of fighting and telling her to admit what happened (I knew what happened as I heard his voice one weekend when whe was at a B&B, one that I found for her btw) she finally told me she had cheated on me. She said it was no big deal and didn't mean anything, however after reading her texts and emails (at her suggestion) I found that not only had she tried to make plans with him in the future but he told her to stuf it, he was just using her for sex. Now I have to live with the fact that I am her second choice and she would have left me had he asked her too, I try to divorce her but she threatens to harm herself or put me through a long, painful divorce. I am super stuck!

My story

I don't have a father. He ran away when I was born. When I was six. My mother was always looking for a boyfriend. She had insecurities and it was really hard for her to maintain a stable relationship. I watched physical abuse from 2004 to about 2008. He used to hit her and yell at her and December 2008 was when she left him finally. And also when my life slowly got better. Then in 2010 she met another person whom was drinking a lot (the other guy did too) and the same thing happened. But only for about less than a year. The whole story is much worse than this. But it's the past. 2011 was a wonderful year when my mother finally reunited with her boyfriend from 20 years ago when she was around 14. They live happily together with all of us in the same household (my grandparents, uncle, and two beloved cousins).

The dark side of the story
Now I've got anxiety (it just started recently and I think it's because of hormones) and minor depression. I'm constantly afraid of big open spaces such as Gymnasiums or open fields, which is called Agoraphobia. I am worrying now about the end of the world in 2012 but i'm starting to worry less about it every day. Things are getting very better for me. But I always get depressed about the fun times I've had in the past. It's the only think I need to improve slowly at a time, and my Agoraphobia.

Thank you for reading! :D

My Life in a Paragraph

I hate my life. Perhaps its not as bad as some of the other stories here, but that doesn't change a thing. When you have ADHD, you can look at thigs from a very dif perspective. Ok, so my family is not extremely effed up, but its bad. My mom has MS and a drinking problem (which she refuses to admit) and she lies like its nobody's business. She's kind, but weak. We're pretty much in the shithole for money, so that's great. My dad just remarried and I have this crazy-ass other side of the family, who can act like hooligans. They all drink like there's no tomorrow (what can you expect, they're Portuguese! (Not to offend anyone who's Portuguese)), not to mention 3/4s of them smoke. I don't drink or smoke. I just broke up with my girlfriend who is pretty much fully attracted to people in this sort of sitch. Now she still likes me and I can't do anything about it. That is until I figured out I might be gay. Yeah... That was a total nervous breakdown. Was diagnosed with clinical depression at age 12 (am almost 15, and still have it). Just this past year I was told I had symptoms of sociopathy and delayed-onset PTSD, which is just fantastic. Had to give my mom first aid (stopping bleeding, cleaning, and rudimentary suture) because of an incredible gash on her forehead.

Wtf is the point?

28 years old.
Molested at a young age.
Never cared for by my mother, she cares only for herself due to having NPD and being bipolar.
Misunderstood by everyone in my entire family so I try to hide my life from them just to avoid being hassled with their assumptions about me.
Stricken with severe Social Anxiety that keeps me from relating to others.
Unemployed.
Unable to connect with a woman, always ends the same way due to my insecurity.
Addicted to drugs, mostly opiate pain killers.
Live at home with my Dad who disrespects me daily.
Only "serious" relationship was with a schizo that ended up fucking my friends.
No possessions of value, all money goes to drugs despite my attempts to remain clean.

Yeah, it sucks. But one day I'll recover and all these bad experiences will have taught me some lessons that I can hopefully share with those worthy of my knowledge. Or y'know, /suicide.

2012 - worst year ever?

Started the year with a fat-arse argument with a drunk and racist friend who thinks i hate her for hanging out with someone who wasn't her, then went on to be sexually assaulted by someone close to me and ever since have had no self-esteem and totally lost the person I was. I have no idea who i am now, clearly someone who just lays down and takes shit from people. Fuck people. I have a very ill friend constantly making me feel guilty for not constantly talking to him, i have no money, no job, I'm failing my degree. I got drunk last night and hacked my boyfriend's facebook only to find the numerous conversations he's been having with other women when I can hardly get him to speak to me. He found out this morning, was furious and hung up on me, hasn't spoken to me since, gone to the pub instead with his friends. Seems unfair seeing as he is the one who assaulted me. So i text him saying so and all i got as a reply was; 'I'm in a pub, I'm not in the right situation to talk to you about this.X' Fuck him man, Fuck him. I need help. I feel reckless and like no one would give a damn if anything happened to me. I can't carry on like this, people shitting on me all the time.

Sometimes, its just better to vent instead of holding it all in.. so here i go.
where to begin.. okay, so for the past few years my parents have been on my case for every little thing. i'm a 20 year old female. currently, i have 2 jobs and im enlisting in the air force. today at work, my boss.. who is a complete dick (every employee thinks he has a permanent stick up his ass).. sent me home today because i had to use the bathroom. & to top everything all of, my dad yelled at me today for it. he said "well you must have done something wrong". NO I DIDNT DO SHIT. what pisses me off even more is that no matter what i do i can never seem to please my parents. i'm paying my own car insurance and enlisting in the service.. within the next 6 months i'll be gone. i dont necessarily hate my life, but i hate the position im in now. i can't wait to leave, its like im always wrong no matter what. my parents never seem to side with me. throughout my entire life, i've always been the wrong one in any situation. my relationship with my parents is extremely shitty. i need to leave soon, because if i dont, i know that i when i do leave, i wont have any contact with them.i just want to get as far away as possible. my parents wonder why i cry a lot.. i think its because throughout my entire life, my parents have never supported me.. with anything i wanted to do. every time they yell at me it sucks, it just gets worse and worse, you think id be used to it by now..

The American dream has turned into a nightmare

So April 2010 after almost 2 years of trying for a child and the stress of IVF my wife and i get the news we wanted to hear, she was pregnant, we was so happy, that is until 7 weeks later she miscarried, 9 weeks later she tells me our marriage is over and she wants a divorce, we stay in separate rooms while i hope to fix us, i couldnt. end of November i find out my wife is talking to other men on the internet, professing her love for others that are not me.

December 6th i move out into a grotty little apartment, just me and my dogs, a sofa bed, a coffee table and a rug.

December 22nd i have a heart attack (im 35 years old) and have stents put into my heart due to a blood clot in my aorta.

March 2011 go back to England for the 1st time in 5 years, the bipolar mother of my children is again a witch, makes life miserable, turns my daughter against me, and generally goes in for the kill. She is one of the reasons i left England in the 1st place

June 2011 i come home from work just like every other day, walk my dogs and sit down and notice my dog trying to be sick, this dog had been with me almost since i got to America, this was about 5:30pm, by 9:30pm my dog had died aged 4 years and 11 months.

As the months pass, various little things just go wrong, 3 computers break, Car breaks, Medical bills mount, debt from the marriage is becoming to much to deal with.

October 2011 a girl i had been speaking to lies about who she ...

Abused, abandoned, & ageing.

I am a 34 year old woman. I was born to a pair of narcissistic drug addicts in Denver Colorado. From the age of two upwards, my father and mother drugged me with valium, made me drink wine, or take Nyquil so I would be asleep most of the time, so they could party. At five, my parents went to Las Vegas and left me with my grandparents, where my 13 yr old uncle molested me daily for a while...how long I don't know. Until "Mom" and "dad" came back. My father started to beat me when I began school. He only used a belt but regularly whipped me for small things like a sad face on the paper I brought home, and I mean in first grade. I was a terrible student, I seems to be slower than everyone else, so I was whipped often.
We moved away from the USA and came to Canada in '84. By the time I was in fifth grade it was apparent I was a loser and was bullied relentlessly. At the age of eleven my father ran off with a 24 yr old woman, and left me with my mother, whom 3 years later sent me back to the US for a "summer vacation" and called me on the phone one day to tell me I would not be coming back to her, she did not want me, she had met a man who did not want a kid around.
I came back to Canada to live with my father and Stepmother (the 24 year old by then nearly 30)and by then my father had become an alcoholic. He regularly got into violent fights with the stepmother. He was often seen in our neighborhood, blind drunk, violent and under arrest. This led to me getting beat ...

Convicted Felon

I'm 19. Just got caught with 3 pounds of weed. Dropped out of my first semester at college. All I wanted to do with my life was travel the world. Now with a felony 2 conviction, I'm under house arrest except for work until May. After that, I'm not allowed to leave the country for seven years. Dreams are gone. I got nothing left.