I generally want to end it. Not even as a "cry for help" as most suicides are performed for.
I absolutely hate my life. I'm 21, virgin, no friends & nothing to live for. I reject all ideas of work. I spend every single day going to sleep at 6am+. All the time I'm awake I play games on my PC. I don't see it as an addiction to gaming. I see it as a way of living. I want to live this way, it's the only thing that makes me happy.
I refuse to see any psychologist/therapist. I just see this world as living HELL.
I think about suicide every single day, but I can't gather the guts to actually do something about it. I don't know what's wrong with me.
There's just a part of me that has some hope that everything will change & I'll be happy. This hope has been with me for about 2 years now. & It just gets worse.
I've been in love twice, both of which left me. One was recent, last month. I thought I fucking had it. I actually believed it was a turning point in my life. I was gonna get out this hell hole and actually be happy for once. It lasted 1 fucking month..
She said she loved me etc & left me for her fucking faggot EX. It just crushed me to a lower point than I was previously.
But yeah, that's pretty much what goes on in my head every day. Same day over and over, I can't live in this world.
I just know I'm going to ignore everything until I'm on the streets & rotting. I give up trying for people & for myself. I hope there are others who feel this way, not for my self satisfaction. Just because it's true that today's life is not worth living. | |
God uses the weak, the powerless, the hurt, and the lonely in GREAT ways. Heres a illustration: A potter will take a helpless, lifeless lump of clay and then knead it and squeeze it until it's soft and pliable. And then when he gets it just right, he takes that piece of clay and he does something called throwing, where he places the clay on a spinning table.
aAnd as that clay is placed upon that turning wheel, the potter's hands then begin to pressure the clay and work it until he makes something beautiful out of that old ugly piece of clay.
God is the true master craftsman. He is a potter who is making something beautiful out of every life. He will take the old ugly mistakes and sins and make them into something completely new!
When you truly know God, you can live victoriously! So whatever the ugliness is in your life, be assured that through the blood of Christ, God molds you and makes you into something beautiful! Many people can testify to how God has changed them. Ive never heard of anyone regretting putting their faith in jesus.
Are you saved? God can turn the worst of situations into good! Joeseph was put into slavery by his brothers, he was abandonded, afraid, probably thought his life was over. But he trusted God, he then eventually became second in command of Egypt. Without looking into the future it can be hard to be optimistic. If you put your faith with jesus he wont abandon you, he will love you and give you a new life.
Youtube Nick vujicic. He's a man who was born with no legs or arms, God has done great things through him.
This isin't an ad or some other bull, I'm trying to bring you the truth which many can testify too.
Regards,
Kevin
stop gaming is hard but thats what you need to do and find a goal in life ?
mein was i love dogs and i watched youtube videos about dogs in labs and than about cow abuse so i made it my goal to stop this things by making lots of money and donating it to places like peta
find a goal in life and do it - if you like animals watch animal abuse videos
learn guitar the ladys love it - thats what i try to do
get a hubby thats not infront of the pc
i go for the pc cause its one of the only things i can do - but you have other options
FROM
MIKE F
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