I'm a 21 year old white male, and I recently got terrible news. For various reasons, I won't be able to graduate from college, despite putting time, effort, and money into it for over three years. I haven't had much help. My family is fairly supportive mentally but never materially. I have been nearly homeless, hungry, and afraid as my parents sat back and used their drugs of choice.
I don't believe in God, and I don't believe in humanity. People are motivated by greed and will be as lazy, stupid, and cruel as they can get away with. I've seen things firsthand and through sources like books and the Internet that have robbed me of faith. I've seen a man torture and rape an infant child on camera, and I know there are children out there being hurt as I type, with nothing and no one to help them. They will most likely grow up, if they do grow up, as twisted husks of sadness and agents of cruelty in their own right.
I lament for those children. I cry for the abused dog, for the smallest arbitrary act of evil, the complete pointlessness of the struggle and the reward, whether you "win" or "lose" by the standards of an unremarkable and superstitious majority, is death in all cases. I have been in good situations and bad situations, been comfortable monetarily and in want, alone and with a beautiful woman. Nothing changes. The only reason I haven't killed myself outright is the simple fact that there was a time I can remember that I didn't long to die, and I hope to return there soon.
Accept that there is no fundamental reason to live, and any excuse you can make reeks of confirmaion bias, for obvious reasons. I was a mathematics major, and I don't fear the dark corners of logical reasoning. Camus said that the main question with with every person must occupy him or herself is: Why shouldn't I end my life? The classic soliloquy from Hamlet stands as one of literature's most poignant musings upon this question. But there is no real answer, just the rantings of madmen. You keep going until you decide that life is no longer worth living, nothing more and nothing less.
To the rich who care not for the poor, the poor who do nothing to help themselves, the slothful, the cruel, the superficial, and to those bigots who revel in their own ignorance and fetishize their opinions, know that I hate you, and you steal any sense of justice and honesty from the world. I may grow out of this period of depression, but I will never gain back my faith. The world is bullshit and lies, smoke and mirrors, and a simple coin toss where the stakes are a person's entire existence.
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So you see a faggot taking advantage of a woman or child, you hunt him down and then you bash his head against the pavement or you go online to lifesucksdotcom and cry about it to a bunch of women and virgins who jack off to elf chicks in their mothers house. What are you gonna do to make the world a better place? You be a man! Quit being a faggot it aint helpin none. Neither does running away crying. Men are going off to war, killing people and dying in a battle zone. You kids run off to join the armed forces but you're afraid of being men, well you're gonna have to prove yourself some day.
God bless you.
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