I'll be 45 this year, single woman, never married, no children. Only child and my parents and grandparents have died recently. I haven't been in a relationship in over 15 years because I knew my baggage was too much for anyone else to be asked to carry.
I thought I wanted this. I thought I wanted a career where I made a nice salary and I could do what I wanted. I have wonderful friends but they have lives of their own. Not sure what happened. I used to be pretty, funny and great to be around. Now I'm fat, lonely and sad.
Life was supposed to be such an adventure, but it has turned out to be such a disappointment instead. I quit my job during a recession. Couldn't take it anymore, it was an awful place to work. I stayed upbeat and positive for years longer than I should have at that place.
My life has not been bad enough to be classified as tragic or rich enough to be deemed wonderful. I am squarely in the middle, drifting in the doldrums. A soupy grayish brown space in the universe where nothing ever really happens.
And I probably have 30 more years to go. If given the opportunity, I would hand out my years to terminally ill children like pieces of candy. Someone else could do so much more with this life than I. | |
As a matter of fact, you can. Volunteer at any children hospital. I did that for a while between jobs.
Have you ever thought of giving your life to jesus? He'll definately make things interesting (for lack of a better word). Theres more to life than just the "American Dream" and being "Happy".
there is death....
((we must look for what is beyond that end))
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