| | Posted by Youknowwho at April 22, 2010 |
Not really sure why I'm writing this, or why I even looked up "life sucks", but wow, life really does suck. I was a hard core drug addict from 14-19, been homesless before, and loss all of my friends because I stole all their shit, anyways... When I turned 20, I got in contact with my parents and told them I wanted to change, so they let me back in the house. 3 months after that, I met a woman online, who lived 800 miles away, I thought, perfect! It was either that or the military I suppose. So here I am 4 years later, with a 11 month old son, and a woman who is 13 years older then me. Wow, right? So we make decent money working from home, about 75k/yr, sounds good, right? But it's not... We are both unhappy, and don't like what we do, unfortunately our bills our so through the roof, comming out to 3500/mo we are stuck. She's 200 lbs and 5'2", so lets say shes gained some weight, I'm 5'11" and in the best shape of my life at 170 lbs. I feel so stuck, I have a kid, and no where to go, and the business I'm in, I can't take with me. So here I am, 24 with no experience, other then what I've done, I have no assets, but a ton of ideas. I don't know what I'm saying, I'm depressed and I cannot explain. I know, its not that bad, I have everything I have ever wanted... BUT IM SO FUCKING DEPRESSED. Fuck the world, I don't know why I'm posting this. |
| | Posted by life's a joke at April 12, 2010 |
I wrote on here a few weeks ago. I was forced to quit drinking for month in hopes that it was th only rason for my depresion. Since then, I've tried to kill myself via painkillers but college dorms are hard to hide throwing up for six hours straight. I was taken to the hospital and after 4 day in ICU went to the mental health unit. Now I'm home because I am on a forced "medical leave" for the semester. My best friends are still there. Nothing in life brings me happiness. The counseling and meds I'm on don't help. I keep thinking about how much I've messed up in the last two months and how fast I went from loving life to trying to end mine. I don't choose to be unhappy. I force myself to go out and try to have fun because I want to be better, but I cant. Why live? Why deal with a clinical depression when it can all be ended? |
| | Posted by greafster at March 10, 2010 |
I am 30 years old and started smoking green at about 18. Even though i finished high school i wasnt relly interested in it. I starting sufing and skating and excelled at both, going in comps and life was great. I was introduced to selling green on the side and making money, then i started groing it hydrponically where i started to make shitloads of money. My family was totally against it, i am palestinain and my family are anti-drugs..my siblings are university graduates..so ia am like the black sheep. Getting into the selling green scene introduced me to other drugs..meth, extasy, coke..which meant fast cash, fast girls, and partying all night. However, this also meant being around some very hard people..bikies, asian and middle eastern gangs members..i wasnt part of any gang, i was doing it with a couple close friends but aminly on my own..so i had to take lots of precaurtions and staying strapped (carrying a gun).
After a few years of this, the drugs started to take its toll on my mind and body..paranoia, lack of sleep, just skitzn in general. After being up for three days on eggs and coke, i was introduced to heroin to take the edge off and get some rest. From there my life went down hill..i didnt think just smoking it would get me addicted..but it did..I blew about $100,000 in a year and a half, and started getting sloppy with my hydroponic business. I finally got caught last year with 50 plants indoor, and about 20 pound of green. With the verfy real possibilty of jail time, i opted to go to drug court, which involves home detention and regular piss tests for 6months. I look at it as a positive as ive now been clean for 2months and am getting my life back.
The moral of this story is that money and drugs do not make you happy..as i know i was taking drugs to mask deeper issues..and there is a better way to live life..im going to university this year doing environmental science which i have always been passionate about. |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 14, 2010 |
Well, let me preface this story by stating that up until recently I have been fairly lucky in life. I have a graduate degree, I was gainfully employed with an international job in clinical research, and I was happy. That was until I began to have anxiety attacks after I moved in with my girlfriend. It wasn't her; it was the stress from work, graduate school, and wanting everything to be perfect in my new life. After struggling with nearly crippling anxiety for a year I finally broke down and talked to my primary care doctor and was prescribed a anxiolytic. It worked great except for I felt like I was somewhat drunk all the time, but at least I was able to function and I didn't feel as if I was going to die every five minutes. This is where the problem began. The medication left me unable to see what was happening to my personal life and how my actions were impacting everyone else; my friends, work, and, most importantly, my girlfriend. My personality changed and I became irritable and gained about twenty pounds as I slept quite often (I normally only slept 4-6 hours at a time.) Now, after even having a beer or two with my friends I would be extremely inebriated because of the combined effects of the alcohol and medication and I emailed a girl on craigslist (I don't remember what I said.) My girlfriend found the email and between that and my personality changes she broke up with me. This was one week before I was going to propose to her. I was unable to cope with that and ... |
| | Posted by LoserJon at January 31, 2010 |
I hate my fucking life. Im 26, chronically unemployed, ive been addicted to methadone for 9 years, im on probation, im ugly, im socially awkward, and the drugs have decreased my sex drive and overall ability to enjoy life at all, and every time ive tried to quit the withdrawals kick my ass in a way thats so fucking painful that its just better to stay on the shit. All my friends are either dead or in prison and all ive done for the past 3 mos. is sit around the house and feel sorry for myself. The only reason I dont jump off a bridge is that my girlfriend is about to have our first son, and im worried ill fuck his mind up just as bad as mine. Life SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!!!!!!!! |
| | Posted by calvin at January 18, 2010 |
i have struggled with heaving drinking and drug use for the last 25 years, had a lot of good times but it became a dependence that I 'default' just out of sheer habit and boredom. So, keep in mind, that problem remains throughout my story. I fell passionately in love/lust with my wife in '96, we were extremely attracted to each other for about the 'usual' 1.5 -2 years. Then her accusations of my involvement with employees (female) started. She loved me, or she was obsessed with me, maybe a combination of both. We got married, had one child, built a business and had a lot of money, or so we thought. I knew 'things' weren't always connected between the two of us. Two years ago she turned into a teenager again at the age of 35, she spent tons of money and simultaneously quit paying the bills and became involved with an 18year-old employee. She bought a dog that pissed all over our furniture and carpet, costs us thousands. She had our home remodeled after the dog damage and we spent 25 thousand dollars. She didn't pay payroll taxes and the IRS demanded 40 thousand dollars, she moved out. The house is still unfinished. I had to sell the business just to break even with the debt where she did not pay the bills. I lost my business. I lost my wife (at the time to an 18 year old moron), my son went with her, I am stuck with two years back taxes to pay, and her business that she opened on the side and emotionally talked me into co-signing the note that she cannot pay:40 more thousand. I finally got 2007 taxes done, owe 13 thousand on that.About 4 months ago she was kind enough to give me "some lovin" if u know what i mean, then she borrowed my credit card to fill up the gas tank, 4 thousand dollars later, she claims I was not communicating with her,(she mentioned nothing of her credit card use). Life still sucks. |
| | Posted by Lonewolf at November 25, 2009 |
Well where do I start? I will say I have brought this on myself. I don't blame anyone, but there is no hope inside. At 45 I have given up. Ever since my divorce things have gone downhill. I have fought alcohol and drug addictions. Probably something that should have been done years ago. Because of those addictions I also have a criminal history, terrible credit, no car, no money and no job. I live in a bording house with a bunch of nuts and have a child which I don't see and barely talk to. The holidays are here and I am empty, numb and all alone. You see I feel if you don't enjoy life, why fight for it. I get my son in the summer and obviously can't under these circumstances. And to make matters worst i ha?e such guilt of not being a better role model. For my son. He has grown further and further away from me and is only 11. He deserves better. The best present I can give to myself is an end to such misery. I just do no have the strength any longer to fight my way out! |
| | Posted by chris at November 4, 2009 |
First my Bichon died.Then I started snorting Xanax.Then I went to rehab for 30 days.Kickin a Xanax habit sucks and without it,the world is a very scary place.Then our creator wants to be worshipped.How can I worship If I dont see good in anything. |
| | Posted by black sheep at October 17, 2009 |
ok well i lost all my money gambling like a dumb ass,oh,nd my eog ran away today what else i dont hve q gun that will shoot at me,some how the fucking door was left open all day so dumb ass dog of mine desides to walk himself.Im going to fucking shit y pants if he aint in the pound,ohh and hes a pitt bull and hates strangers so did dumb ass bite anyone,kid,or what the fuck we just movedhere three days ago theres a highway one hundred yards from the house what the fuck do i do bout that. my kids are going to piss and moan not only did i loss all my money and dog and girl and life and friends and sense and know how to even coupe with it all i want drugs lots of drugs if i didnt get sick id try anything,ok not all my sense,no needle but if u make it id take it, ok not crack or crank,ok maybe a blunt and shot of henn.i cant get a job any how so there till tomorrow comes and i cant find my mute .fuck shit damn me all to hell im worthless right now.nad for a long time before that. |
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