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LIFE SUCKS : Addictions

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    [Tell Your Story]  "The pit" (fresh stories)

    False hopes

    Posted by anonymous at June 10, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   2011 June   Money   Philosophical

    My life sucks!. I was a gambling player. I lost thousand of bucks in it. Its like I was always being absorb by such institution whenever I have my money. Now all of my money is in it I only have so much debts that I cant hardly pay. Money left is none. Having a lot more debts to live everyday life. Everyday recovering is such a kaos and depressing. I cant hardly wake up in the morning wishing that everyday I am a sleep until I pay all my debts. Working hard to pay all the bills brought up by the casino. My life sucks giving everything in the casino. I am addicted to it and the false hopes that it gives.

    Remembering such losing events makes it worst. I wish it all be erased and send to the recycle bin together with the credit card bills.

    I wish I can be better with this, its just such ashame to tell it to anyone of my friends because I will look idiot to them doing it. My life sucks because I always wish I am the best.

    Another sucking moment ios that I always have an idea to do business but none is successful being made. It is depressing to be a human being that is such a mess. Society does not help. Everyone live their own lives and does nt care.

    Why am i alive???? People: "You are alive to serve us" fucking shit. what a life. No one ever care for someone. They care if they will have benefits. life sucks and why dont we end it. My life sucks and so others to. It is fortunate that we suck and others dont. Fuck them. Living is like losing everyday.

    Everyone needs someone but everyone just fuck someone and leave them These are the person we always wanted to be the person that is very popular and influential that does everything but is still the best. Fuck! that is only one in a million and the 999 thousand have a sucking life. What a life being given to us.

    It really is! Life is just fucking sucks!


    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

    Wanna feel better about your life? Read about mine

    Posted by Jodie at May 14, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Anxiety   Death   Loneliness   2011 May   Poverty

    Life for me has become unbearable. From the day I was born I was destined to be in pain. While my mom was pregnant with me my biological father died in a freak accident. My mom, who had many demons, became a very bad alcoholic. My life was one crisis after another. By the time I was 10 I developed severe anxiety disorder. It would continue to haunt me for years along with severe depression.

    There was a time I thought I had hope for a decent future. Despite living a life of abuse, chaos, tragedy and lonliness I managed to graduate with honours. I got a great job. But no matter how hard I tried to be "normal" I could not run from myself. I could not run from the horrors that plagued my life. Then the final blow - my mother died 5 years ago. She was just 47 years old. Despite the way I grew up, my mother and I were very very close and losing her killed me. Soon after I found myself addicted to oxycontin. What started off as the means to end the painful back problems I had quickly developed into an addiction from hell. I found oxy to relieve not just my physical pain but my mental pain and anxiety. Since then I have gone from bad to worse. I've isolated myself to the point where the phone NEVER rings for me. No friends, no nothing. The only thing that keeps me going are my kids. Thank God for them. Nothing else matters but them.

    I live in poverty, am trying to straighten my trashed life out but honestly I just want to die. I don't want to wake up every day...

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    Comments: 32   Votes:


     

    fuck man ive wasted 25 years of my life

    Posted by anonymous at April 29, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   2011 April

    shit, ive wasted all my good young years. Doing drugs(all kinds crack,coke,pills etc) going in and out of jail, wasting good opportunities (could have had a hot Girlfriend twice, but me and fuckin dumb ass head) fuck now that i realize it, its not like i can go back in the past and start over. I just keep getting drunk/using drugs and i still like crap, FUCK LIFE


    Comments: 9   Votes:


     

    Giving up

    Posted by anonymous at April 12, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   2011 April   Childhood   Loneliness

    I know there's something wrong with me. I must be retarded or autistic or borderline or something because I feel so different from everyone else. Life sucks and god and everyone else in the world most certainly hate me with a fiery passion. Had a horrible childhood with a pedophile for a father and developed depression at a young age, which led to the chronic use of marijuana, alcohol and sex by age 16. A few years later when I was 19 there was a short period when I involuntarily went sober from all substances and this is when I underwent a brief psychotic episode where I ended up slitting my wrists and scarring myself for life. Afterward I was so ashamed that I felt I didn't deserve to live, and so I bought a gun thinking I'd blow my brains out, but at the last second realized I still had a small amount of money left so I thought I'd gamble what little I had left playing poker so I could have the luxury of dying penniless.

    Sadly my initial plan was thwarted as I won back to back to back tournaments and now I've never been richer and have all the weed and alcohol I could ask for. I'm still miserable and depressed and incapable of developing a meaningful relationship with anyone, but at the same time I don't know what it is that I need to make things better. I would ask for help but lets face it... Friends, family and professionals are all so fucking useless! The only person you can depend on is you.


    Comments: 5   Votes:


     

    is it to late

    Posted by porky al at April 11, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   2011 April   Attitude   Family

    i will start of sayin i am 45 yrs old unemployed 380lbs ex addict who still needs percozets whenever i can get to feel ok oh yea take antidepressants.i was born into a blue collar family full of mental and other addications.i am the youngest of 4 only male of the sibs my father bein this strong hard workin police man and cons worker wanted nothin more than to have a son.he finally got his wish although my parents hated each other by this point but they had to have me.of course i thought as a child i had a great family until the age of 8 they divorced with my mom bein so weak and unable to stand up to my domineering father ps guess who i took after.life really began to suck my interest in schooland activieties started to lack this is where i first found the comfort of food.so fast foward to age 13 peer preesure no confidence in self came drugs by the time i was 18th i had been in and out of rehabs oh yea i managed to lose weight though lol so that was kool.i had finally found the drug that got me away from drugs for a while crack which now added the stealin of my familys mney and jewels.with my mom bein german she had moved back there so i was sent there at 19 which was great i started havin sex with a cousin my first real relationship 2 months later i was home free of drugs and measnin back in america with some confidence. i now was in shape from gym lookin real good was meeting and datin girls and had good ppl in my life.i finally subcumbed back into drugs and alcohol ...

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    Comments: 3   Votes:


     

    Why bother?

    Posted by anonymous at March 31, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Alcohol   Drugs   Health   Loneliness   2011 March   Mistakes   Unemployment

    I am a 36yo guy. I come from a good family, never abused, no fkd up childhood or anything. But i ended up partying alot as a kid and by the time i was 18 i was trying heroin and within a short period of time i was a junkie. I managed to support my habit for 10 years or so by stealing from my family mostly after i had lost everything i had. They were amazingly understanding and just wanted to see me get better as anyone would. Eventually they had no choice but to press charges because it was the only way to protect themselves. I spent 5 years in prison and it was the best thing that could have happened to me.I never touched it again after in was released in 2006. I was extremely excited about my future at this point...

    Unfortunately i began drinking heavily and drank between a pint and a 5th of bourbon every night for the first year and a half i was out. But i was doing great, i had a good job, and apt and a g/f. But i had contracted hep-c as a result of my drug use and alcohol is like pouring gas on a fire when you have a liver disease. So eventually i was able to get off the booze...anyway, fast forward to now..

    I am not a 36 yo man that is unemployed bc i got injured and could no longer work at construction. I don't know exactly how bad my heath really is, although considering ive had hep-c for about 10 years now and 3 of those years were literally spent drinking heavily and daily. So i imagine not good, i see physical signs of liver problems, but i ...

    Read Entire Entry >>>

    Comments: 22   Votes:


     

    wish god would help

    Posted by anonymous at February 25, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Drugs   2011 February   Justice   Money

    Im 27, I have a 1 yr old with a girl i love & fucked it up with, and my life is fucked. i got addicted to heroin when i was about 17, stayed addicted, went to prison, got out got back addicted, and finally a few years ago kicked with the help of suboxone. i was able to hold down a functioning life and had a son. I was supporting babys mamma/son when a crooked cop pulled me over and threw some dope on me. I had to sit 6mos. in jail but eventually got found not guilty. she & the baby had to move to her moms house 2 hours away. so because of being in jail 6 mos. i've lost my apartment, job, car, girlfriend, and what hurts most my son. also the doctor i was on (who was free) stopped writing subox and now i cant afford to get back on it, so im shooting dope and going through withdraws again. Im broke so im staying with family who dont like me bcause of my past (cant blame em) and they made it clear i cant stay long so the next step is homeless in new orleans. im depressed im a nervouse wreck, i miss my life, i miss my family. i cant even support them i cant even support myself, & now im considering eating a bottle of sleeping pills.


    Comments: 28   Votes:


     

    untitled story

    Posted by js at February 9, 2011
    Static LinkTags: Addictions   Alcohol   Attitude   Drugs   2011 February

    I am a drug addict, an alcoholic and a crimmianl. I'm in a Clinic now, trying to get better but its hell in here and I'm sure I will never get better, I will kill myself soon with the stuff I can't stop taking. I've done glue, cocaine, drank daily, day and night, can never seem to be seeing straigt, half of my life is spent in bathroom throwing my stomach out, hurt everyone who's ever bothered to care about me: my parents, brother, guys who used to be close friends.. I've hurt them all and lost them all, I don't deserve to hurt them any more and I just need to get the fuck out of this place. I'm going to die by my sickness anyway. I can never stop my addiction. I'm already too damaged, irreparable. I might soon be kicked out of the Clinic because I trashed this guy who pissed me.


    Comments: 5   Votes:


     

    Life sucks ass

    Posted by bert at February 8, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Attitude   Drugs   2011 February   Meaninglessness

    I'm 30 years old, I have been a herion addict for 9 years. as a result I still live with mom and dad, I do not have a single penny in my name, i havn't had a job in 5 years, I havn't had sex since 2001, and every little move or decission i make is under a microscope.
    But the part that sucks the most is that i have absolutly no desire to fix any of it. I have become very comfortable being completely miserable 24/7. If i happen upon $50 or so I become very uncomfortable. I can easily go a week straight without stepping foot outside. I have far less meaning in my life than even my 4 year old niece, atleast she goes to preschool during the week.
    So whats in store for the rest of my life? lets see. I will live with my parents (with zero freinds) until they pass on. then I will become homeless at which time i will probablly kill myself.
    I wish I wasnt addicted to being miserable and I'm sure with theropy I could have a life. But i dont have the energy or value my life enough to do anything about it.
    and this is why life sucks.


    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

    from a happy day to the saddest day

    Posted by alucant at January 15, 2011
    Tags: Addictions   Drugs   Family   2011 January

    well i do my best to tell my story as best as a uneducated person can forget perods and good grammer anyway i wake up early im eight years old i was a big fan of the aba ny nets this is over thirty years ago drj julius erving scored thirty something points my dad worked overnights as a policeman i couldnt wait for him to come home and tell him when he came i told him something didnt seem right this is when me and my three sisters where takin into our living room to talk with mom thats when i was told they where seperating so over thirty years later this still saddens me so the next thirty years where meet with depreesion drug alcohol addication self pity grandiosity my story can go on with the people i disapointed and hurt esp dad who always stood by me regardless my mom had some mental illness and couldnt handle much which i feel wasnt her fault i cant continue to far because i thing i could wind up writing a book if i got too much onto detail i of course dropped out of school started with marijuana pills coc and then came angel dust and crack after stealing from family and conning who ever many efforts by dad to get me clean i didnt stop finally i did stop using angel dust and coc for a long time weed also but 9ij forget to mention ever expanding waistling ive gainded and lost so many hundreds of pds so now im in my early twenties in good place but full of self esteem issues got into good shape started to make have some girlfriends even went bact to school for a minute well my hero dad dies at 58 i marrie a girl who enables me to gain 100s of pds start using coc and alcohol daily so here i am now in my 40s 400lbs om all kinds of depressive meds no job and only have worked low paying jobs with a depression i feel deep in my bones the one thing i know though there is hope no matter how bad it gets just so far not for me and i really believe most of it though is on me ill end this now


    Comments: 5   Votes:


     

    Fuck this

    Posted by j at January 7, 2011
    Tags: Abuse   Addictions   Alcohol   Anxiety   Drugs   Family   2011 January

    Born with thc and meth in my system. Went home with alcoholic drug addicted parents. Was molested as a baby by dads meth head friend. Then molested repeatedly by many different men for drugs for the adults. Always on foodstamps, ssi and always lived in eighther section 8 housing or trailor park or homeless. At age 6 raped and couldn't speak for a year. My dad got black out drunk almost every night and beat my mom and me. Started using cocaine at 9 on an off. At 13 gang raped by 6 Latin kings and one of them raped me in the ass too. At 14 I was smoking crack everyday and I began to sell myself for more drugs and money. I was raped again by my band teacher, then again by a man named marcus who used to stalk me, he came in my window when I was sleeping, then again by a sex offender at age 17 multiple times while I was passed out. He got me pregnant and I got am abortion. All the while I was in and out of juve 4 times, and psychiatric hospitals,11 times. I finally got off all the hard drugs I was on after I had an abortion. I am now 18 and I'm in a relationship with a 15 year old, I am 4 months pregnant by him and I still smoke way too much weed, I quit school 3 years ago. I have no friends and no family that is sober. My boyfriends not old enough to get a job and he's not mature enough to be a father and I get a disability check for my social anxiety disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, mood related psychoses, and I can't work. I have soany symptoms of so many psychological disorders that I feel like I have them all. I often have visual and auditory hallucinations of demons talking to me and whispering. My mood swings are intense and out of control. I have panic attacks, and flashbacks, bulimia, I cut myself, dissociation, black outs, and personality changes. There is so much more detail and horrible events that I left out that I could write a fucking book.


    Comments: 36   Votes:


     

    my life sucks elephant d¡ck

    Posted by suzicide at December 14, 2010
    Tags: Addictions   2010 December   Family   Poverty   Unemployment

    My life suuuuuuucks. I mean jesus tap dancing christ. 7 months ago my husband became addicted to meth. 2 months ago I was layed off from my job. My husband was arrested 1 month ago on our sons birthday, mind you this is a few days after I had my kid look me in the face and asked does my daddy still love. I found a used needle in my sons bed, a used condom in our bedroom and bills hidden in the closet that were 2 months past due and no job to pay them. Now I have my husbands tweaker friends stopping by my house wanting sex since my husband is in jail. I have no money for rent since my unemployment is phucked up, I'm rationing my food. I know I'm not going to be able even buy my son a christmas present this year. So yeah my life phucking blows.


    Comments: 8   Votes:


     

    untitled story

    Posted by anonymous at December 5, 2010
    Static LinkTags: Addictions   2010 December

    I'm a fucking pothead who does drugs and drinks alcohol to deal with his problems. I've been smoking weed since I was 12 and drinking since I was 11. I'm sixteen and my dad died when i was 11. My life isn't that bad but I fucking hate it sometimes. I'm addicted to cigarettes and I'm in love with a girl who doesn't give a flying fuck about me. Oh well, time to get fucked up again.


    Comments: 8   Votes:


     

    just me

    Posted by anonymous at November 16, 2010
    Tags: Addictions   Failure   Friendship   2010 November

    I know i wasn't always like i am now, because i had friends. i had friends and family who cared about me and trusted me. they confided in me. I confided in them. I don't know how or what made me turn on them, but i did. I'd make fun of my friends behind their backs. I'd go out with their ex girlfriends. I lied to them. I cheated them. I started doing narcotics. i'd be i complete ass to my family. When my parents found out i was into drugs, I promised i wouldn't do it again. i lied. I had never broken a promise before in my life. My brother is a sweet kid. He never wished a bad thing about anyone. I know when he told my parents that i was doing drugs again, he meant the best. but i am an ass. i am decietfull. i don't deserve a single good thing i get. The only remotley bad thing that has ever happenned to me was that my parents are divorced, and i used to get beat up all the time in elementary school, but that's no excuse for the way i am. My phsychiotrist (fuck me if i spelled that wrong) put me on antidepressants, but nothing changed. I still cut my self and i still like hurt other people just as much as i like hurting myself. Physically and mentally.
    I have no real friends at college (haha, no fucking surprise right?)
    and i am unhappy. not because i am lonely, but no one can trust me. I still play football with some people and what not, but they don't trust me. I want people to trust me, i want people to love me, i don't want to want to hurt them but i do. I do...

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    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

    Life Sucks and it just gets suckier

    Posted by AM at October 30, 2010
    Tags: Addictions   2010 October   Poverty   Relationship

    Hi everyone,

    I am an addict and I don't want to admit it because I happen to like drugs and sex a lot. Life sucks so why is it wrong for me to do something I like.

    Lets see, I bought my first house to find that it was riddled with defects and now I am living in a gutted home. I found out my husband has been sleeping around since we met. I have broken 3 vehicles within the last 6 months. It is going to snow soon in Colorado and I will freeze in my house because I have no heat. I really do want to die but I don't have enough balls to kill myself. If someone else would do it that would be great. I can't even die in a car accident when I was hit by a semi.

    I honestly do not understand how anyone can think this world is great. I think that only people that have everything handed to them think this world is great. Fuck this world and fuck everyone in it. I wish it would just burn up and kill us all.


    Comments: 12   Votes:


     

    alone

    Posted by WDC at October 26, 2010
    Tags: Addictions   Attitude   Loneliness   2010 October   Relationship

    My life's not the worst here...but it still sucks.

    I am alone...that's probably my #1 problem. I have always been alone. I'm 40. I have a supportive family, but I have been on my own since 16. Now at 40...that's 24 years of living alone.

    I cannot get a girlfriend to save my life (let-a-lone a wife) and I have no kids (sort of takes the former to have the latter).

    I get blown off by women virtually every week (sometimes 2/3 times a week). I keep swinging the bat...but I'm much better at striking out than I am at hitting home runs.

    I do have friends...but they seem to have more of a life...so it's sort of hard to keep up because I don't want to interfere too much with others who have other priorities.

    Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts....or angry thoughts. Sometimes I imagine yelling at women that I've had a date or two with in the past. Once I was imagining this while driving and I hit another car. It was my fault, I was in a different world. Fortunately, no one was hurt and I just had to make an insurance claim.

    I also am a chronic masterbater. Funny, I didn't think 40 year old men were suppose to be able to have an erection 5-10 times a day. Maybe it's a gift or maybe it's a mental disorder. Obviously I've become addicted to Internet porn, that almost goes without saying given my situation.

    If you are going to comment, please don't write something stupid like god/jesus/etc. I am 99.999999999999999999% sure that there is no god, but I am 100% sure that any of the religions practiced are complete bs and made for people more pathetic than me.



    Comments: 28   Votes:


     

    hell

    Posted by whatdoyoucare at September 29, 2010
    Tags: Addictions   Drugs   2010 September

    My childhood never happened as far as I'm concerned. Not because it sucked, at least it doesn't feel like it did. I don't remember it. I have not one fond memory from it, just little flashes here and there of faces...

    I got addicted to drugs and now I'm insane. I see spiders crawling all over my walls, big hairy things.... My vision is obstructed by a tv static like overlay from my fried brain, and I have only nightmares when I go to sleep... Just to name a few. Nobody knows about this except for my counselor, whom could care less. I look high all the time, even though I never am anymore. Been clean for awhile now, don't remember how long. Hell I don't even remember what I had for dinner last night.

    I want to get high, to escape from this... But I can't because I fucked up my body from all the chemicals. Heart doesn't work right, I had a heart attack a year ago. Enlarged prostate at age 20 and everytime I have alcohol it will help with my insanity, but it will leave me with chest pains and depression/ anxiety for 2 days after that is jut not worth the 45 minute drunk buzz.

    To top it all off, I live on this shithole of a planet. That lacks any sort of humanity it once had, so I have to deal with assholes day in and day out that just make it all so much worse. I hate people, hate my siblings, hate god, hate everything for my own protection. If I was around people it would hurt me too much. So I spend my days alone, just existing...



    Comments: 9   Votes:


     

    f.a.b.

    Posted by worthless at June 22, 2010
    Tags: Addictions   Alcohol   2010 June   Poverty

    Well I was born to alcoholics. My mother 'raised' me by pushing me off on my brothers and sisters. Growing up I had no clue about things normal kids learn growing up with caring parents. I got pregnant at 16, had a baby at 17. The father didn’t want anything to do with him. I had hope then finished High School worked crappy jobs to keep my child in clothes and food. My favorite brother died in a house fire. Was so depressed I guess I didn't notice some red flags on the next guy i dated. He had a good job, spent time with his son, yet wouldn't introduce me to his friends. We hooked up, my mother died, he moved in. Then he'd disappear for days at a time come home broke. I was so naive I didn't realize what was going on. We had 3 kids with in 4 years. Crack took over all his time and money. I was left to raise 4 children on my own. Worked full time at a job I hated. I couldn't take it anymore so I quit and went back to school. Going to school while raising children is no picnic. Especially while working part time to keep bills paid. A year and a half in my sister commits suicide. This made me more depressed then normal. Just over a year later my brother committed suicide. I flunk that semester of school and know that my chance at an education is at an end. This basically signs my life away to live in poverty. My nephew died this last spring. I'm wondering how I'm to spend another day on this earth. I’m having major health issues. It just keeps getting better today my son was let go from his job so any help with bills I was getting is gone. I'm going to lose my house, my kids and I don’t think I’ll live to see 2011.


    Comments: 32   Votes:


     

    Nothing Seems to Make Me Happy anymore

    Posted by anonymous at June 16, 2010
    Tags: Addictions   2010 June   Meaninglessness   Philosophical

    I'm 34 married unhappy and at the end of contemplating what to do. What scares me is that all the things that used to make me happy when I felt depressed no longer work for me. I used to smoke weed and do other drugs but even those stopped working. And I am not about to start taking any Big Pharmacuetical pimped cures that do nothing to cure the problem and only lead to lifelong addiction.

    Most of my childhood was chaotic. My mother divorced my father when I was nine and then proceeded to move from boyfriend to next husband to next boyfriend every couple of years. So as a result I never got to stay put anywhere fo very long and I think that it has left a lasting negative effect on me. I find it difficult if not impossible get close w/ most anyone.

    The only thing that ever seemed to give temporary release other than the drugs was my lifelong obsession/addiction w/ video gaming. But after a lifetime of playing games there is simply no satisfaction anymore. I think I realized some years ago that it's a throuroughly hollow persuit. Akin to living vicariously throught virtual experiences that never really happened by staring at a box for many says and hours.

    I don't even feel close with my own wife. Oh sure at first it SEEMED like we were close and right for each other and honestly she is a good person who does seem to care for me. The problem is that as the years go by I care less and less for her and I feel like complete shit because of it. And t...

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    Comments: 31   Votes:


     

    i just wanna get messed up

    Posted by junkie4life at June 2, 2010
    Tags: Addictions   Attitude   2010 June

    right now theres booze in the cupboard, been sober for seven years. want to pump my veins full of heroin. want some percoset. want to smoke the marijuana, want to get severely messed up beyond belief, nevertheless want some ciggarettes. sobriety sucks. i hate it. i wonder why i am even sober. i just want to use a bunch of drugs and stay messed up for the rest of my life and die early.


    Comments: 10   Votes:


     

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