LIFE SUCKS

my lifes a joke

i am over thirty years old and am adicted to cocaine an weed. i got layed off from the first good job i ever had ( i cried on that day) and have started a job that my friend from work told me about. i had to use fake piss for a drug test because i cant stop doin drugs. my first day was the most horrifying experience in my life, i got stuck in picky bushes for 5 hours and had to wait for somebody to come find me . i thought i was goin to die.Why wud my friend do this to me? he said that it was the easiest job he ever had. This was worse than the time that clown molested me as a child. Since then, i go into massive panic attacks evry time i see a clown and get extremely nervous wen they are mentioned. Recently i was exited, because o thought o was going to be a father,but it turns out the child wasnt even mine.i stayed with her anyway, because i love her but i made her get an abortion. I suspect that she has cheated on me multible times, beacause the other night when we went to dinner with ma friend and his family, she kept mentioning having other men sleep over our house. if you have any advice it would be deeply appreciated, though i might forget when i get high