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Posted by life's a joke at April 12, 2010
Tags: Addictions  2010 April  Philosophical

I wrote on here a few weeks ago. I was forced to quit drinking for month in hopes that it was th only rason for my depresion. Since then, I've tried to kill myself via painkillers but college dorms are hard to hide throwing up for six hours straight. I was taken to the hospital and after 4 day in ICU went to the mental health unit. Now I'm home because I am on a forced "medical leave" for the semester. My best friends are still there. Nothing in life brings me happiness. The counseling and meds I'm on don't help. I keep thinking about how much I've messed up in the last two months and how fast I went from loving life to trying to end mine. I don't choose to be unhappy. I force myself to go out and try to have fun because I want to be better, but I cant. Why live? Why deal with a clinical depression when it can all be ended?

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Comments:
By anonymous at 13,Apr,10 04:50

Dump the drugs, alcohol and even caffiene and sugar. Cut way back on sodium (salt) for a while. Eat only fresh food instead of fast food or prepared food. Get some fresh air and exercise. After a couple of months you may feel much better.


By anonymous at 13,Apr,10 07:41

Plant a garden and feed yourself because the food that you grew will taste better and edjucate yourself on common law because you can always win against the shisters in the courts ,Take the high road and be better than your enemy...


By anonymous at 02,May,10 16:15

You think happiness is brought to you by alcohol? No dude. Improve your life style, see that entertainment is not always about going out for clubbing and all these shit. Find love, even in a puppy that you see and find so cute...You dont have a motivation, no dreams, no education i see. Do something for yourself, challenge yourself. Your life's nothing till now.


By junkie4life at 02,Jun,10 17:20

yeah, don't kill yourself. i'd tell you how rotten i feel right now, but i don't want it to rub off on you. just find something to hold on to, whether it be a fantasy, something that you can think of when you are down. that helps, then when you want to face your depression, be ready to know the fantasy doesn't exist. "they'll" tell you not to use substance but when you have those thoughts, ain't no one takin them away. so find a fantasy to hold on to, however do not become dissociative. live for something. i got a cat so i didn't kill myself. it worked. one night i almost ended it all (about over six attempts-u loose count after a while) and i looked at a picture of my cat and knew she needed me so i didn't do it. you gotta find something to hold on to. stay alive although it may suck for you and hold on to something, you don't have to tell anyone what it is, that's what makes it so special-no one knows your fantasy that keeps you holding on and no one can destroy it!!!!!!!!!


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