| | Posted by No one at March 19, 2011 |
I look forward to death. At least the pain of this world will stop. I don't know if God exists, or if a God existed what is its nature.
I just know all this pain has to stop. So many horrible memories tormenting me.
The worst part is that I know it is just going to get worse. The pain will not go away and just grows.
It is all a horror show.
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| | Posted by Browny at March 18, 2011 |
I'm getting kick out tomorrow, from a friends house i moved into after i
origianlly got kick out of my parents house.
I can honestly say, i have no fucking clue whats gonna happen. I don't
want to go back home. I dont' want to have to live with my disgusting
family anymore. Not for one second.
I've been looking for a job for a month now. So i could start paying
rent to my friends parents so i wouldn't feel like a mooch.
But it doesn't matter that i could have an interview in the up coming
days. Of course not. I'm sure i had to have one weeks ago to make
them happy. But whatever.
Who cars that i'm trying to get out of a shit pile of a life to make
things better for myself.
Who will care, when i call my mom to move back in, she'll most likely
end up laughing at me and tell me to fuck off.
Who will care, when i'm sleeping in a parks jungle gym, with no extra
cloths, or anything to keep me warm, because all of its in a bucket
that's way to heavy to drag around, which will mean i'll have to leave it behind, when i have to leave.
Who. Will. Care? :\ |
| | Posted by unhappy at March 18, 2011 |
lets start with a year ago.my moms stupid ass job doesn't pay her enough so she didn't have enough for the house payment. we lost our house. my stupid brother doesn't seem to realize the situation we are in so he acts like everything is okay even though we are living with our neighbor. my sister doesn't give a shit what happens in our family's life as long as her boyfriend is okay. my parents treat me as if i am a fuckin slave. i hardly ever do anything fun. one of my closest friends is my crush and i am around him all of the time and he doesn't realize that i like him. and today i found out my mom lost her job |
| | Posted by Red at March 18, 2011 |
I hate my fucking life. My parents don't care about me anymore. My mom gave up, and my dad just sits around smoking his weed everyday. My sister is a real fucking cunt. My brother thinks he's far superior than me because he's had sex. Well whoopie fucking doo...
I hate my friends, of all. Which doesn't surprise me one fucking bit. Everyones all about having your back and being there. But when it actualy comes to being a fucking brother. Not a fucking chance.
Love how everyone walks all over me. Just because i'm a nice fucking kid.
Who cares if i like a girl and spend more time with her than you. And want to try and pursue something other than friendship.
Who cares if i'm trying my best to find a job, to keep my families mouth shut.
Who the fuck cares who i am... And i can't even say i do.
Its god damn sad to live in this fucking world with no help, no words of advice, nothing... Not one fucking thing.
Not to mention, i'm a fucking pussy when it comes to just getting rid of my virginity. I can't just take the 5 fucking minutes to get it over with... No
i just have to have morals when it comes to that.. I fucking hate myself.
I don't what i'm gonna do. Can't see myself doing anything in 5 years, let alone a month if this shit keeps getting worse...
And i've thought about letting go of it all. Pulling that trigger. Kicking the chair form under me. Dropping the fucking toaster in the bath tub.
But of course. I can't do it. I can't even get laid, even when its practiclly handed to me..
Just wish i had friends. Actually friends. And someone to say "I love you" too.
If i could just have a little leeway, just a tiny fucking sliver..
I would feel happier... But i doubt anything will happen..
I. Hate. My. Life. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 18, 2011 |
i am only 14 i have had boyfriends but all turn their back at me terribly and make everyone really hate me even more then they did. at least people see other people as a like a clown or anything. i am seen as nothing , i daydream of death ALL the time but i am SOOO sad because i know that i am only 14 that means i have a loooooooooooooong time of more misery ahead of me :'(
i just know its going to get wayy worse as i get older.
i even sneak out late at nights going downtown hoping i get kidnapped and killed. |
| | Posted by anonomus at March 18, 2011 |
1. My friends hate me
2. My mom is an alcoholic
3. My dad has… problems
4. My sister hates me
5. I only have 1 true friend and I never see her, and im pretty sure she hates me now
6. No one treats me nice
7. I have the least amount of friends at school, if any of them are actually my friend
8. I’m the ugliest one at school
9. I get bad grades
10. People’s lives would be better if I were dead
11. More than half the people I know would be happy if I died
12. I’m the fattest one at school
13. I’m short
14. No one wants to hang out with me
15. NO ONE LOVES ME
16. I sound like a guy
17. I get lied to, too much
18. I probably just lost a friend
19. I have NO good luck
20. I cry my eyes out A LOT!
21. No one cares about me
22. I have to go back to the hell house tomorrow (School)
23. I envy my friends (if they are my friends)-NO
24. My cat doesn’t even want to be with me none of my animals do. |
| | Posted by joe at March 17, 2011 |
My life sucks big time now. It used to be ok. First Off my Wife Leaves me one day for no reason at all, I come home from work one day and all her stuff and some of mine is gone. she also has our daughter that I never get to see and the courts do nothing to help me with. Oh but they sure make sure she gets her almost $600.oo a month child support. I dont mind taking care of my daughter but 600 dollars a month is way to much money to have taken out of my paycheck every month. I can barely pay rent and buy gas for my car to get to work in the first place. I have to live like a bum basically while she goes and buys a brand new car and new furniture and new purses... Im sure i know where she gets the extra money....... |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 17, 2011 |
Where do i begin?? grew up in a well-to-do family, only to have my younger brother basically rob and finally ruin our family business. both parents die in 2007 from cancer..leaving a ton of bills unpaid. i finally get the nerve to leave my live-in boyfriend of 18 yrs, who got my oldest son started on the path of drugs when he was 13 with crack cocaine. i lose most of what was willed to me in my parents estates, and the one house that i had left was stripped of all the copper wiring and plumbing by my ex and his new crack head wife. so now im left with a shell of a house that no one wants to buy in todays declining housing market. 3 months ago i wrecked my car that was paid for..no collision ins to cover the loss. been without a car ever since..making it difficult to get my two youngest kids to school and myself to work. my boss has cut my hours because he says i am now unreliable in getting to work as scheduled. my 20 yr old addicted son takes advantage of me..constantly asking for money to buy his drugs. he is lazy and wont work, and his constant running around to hustle up money for his stuff has cost his girlfriend her job. now i have two dead beats living off me. i am continuously having to watch their two yr old daughter so they can run...because i worry about what situations they may be putting her in. i have a boyfriend, who really isnt much help..he is on disability and DOES NOT know how to manage his money..which always gets gone within the first week to ten da... |
| | Posted by famished at March 17, 2011 |
Do you ever get tired of the feeling of preferring to not eat then resort to the 70,000th meal of half pack of ramen? I wonder how my body even manages to process this garbage without breaking down from lack of everything it needs.
I owe more than my life is worth in student loans and I have been pounding the pavement with a vengeance to find a job.. why did I bother to go to school to end up working in min wage? because i can see that coming.
Employers take advantage of the skilled but desperate and it just sickens me.
End rant :) |
| | Posted by happy slapper at March 17, 2011 |
All of you who are facing challenges, it doesn't have to be that way. Life's circumstances can be changed. if you have failled, that means you tried... you need to try again, and again, and again... life ends when you give up. If you want to do something, you can. Don't look for excuses, don't say, it's because of "whatever" that you can't move on... there are 16 workable hours in a day. that's plenty to do anything... just decide, write it down, plan and do...
Bruce Lee said "willing is not enough, we must do"
this means, intending to do something is only the basis, but if we don't do it, it will never get done.
You don't have a job... get out there, wash cars, windows, mow lawns, volunteer at charitable organisations. Anything to avoid wasting your life.
Do good things, and good things happen.... try it?
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| | Posted by Allie at March 17, 2011 |
Well, what can I say. My dad stayed with me till I was about 10, then ditched. Im on A.D.D pill/ depresion. My mother controls me like a puuppet. Im 14 and live in a dictators home. My brother sexually abused me when I was 7 and he was 11. My dad left me without saying goodbye..or I love you.
I have suicidal thoughts... OFTEN. I have no say in what I do or say. I was grown up to lie to everybody I love (thanks Dad) Everyone I meet I end up hurting in some way. I have alot of self control issues. I need anger managment!! My life sucks big time... |
| | Posted by aoife at March 17, 2011 |
im 17 i have a 3mnt old baby with a 30year old man...
i love my baby 2 bits , but i have to lev this man...
he helpd me true me loseing my 3 friends to suside when i was 16, thats how i got to no him..
he gives my everything i want and could need hes paying 4 me to go to college..
but its just not right...
im afraid to lev him because he will beat me, iv got nowere else to go?
my family dont talk to me, this makes it very hard living in the same town but were moving soon...
im a commis chef in a 4 star resturant my dream..
but life still sucks..
i honestly dont no what to do some1 please please plaese help...
or is 13years of an age differce ok? or what?
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| | Posted by Thatguy. at March 16, 2011 |
I'm just a major fuck up. Classic scenario, grew up in middle class suburbia as an indian minority. Got picked on in middle school, but nothing major like getting my ass kicked on a daily basis more or less some name calling here and there and social isolation. Was a pretty chubby adolescent with braces, so girls were never really in the picture. Then when I was 13 or so, I started working out, these punks started yelling at me and my sister and I yelled back, they came over like they were going to kick my ass, I recognized one of them from my bus, so I waited and punched him in the face on the way to school the next monday. Apparently they formed a small gang of kids who were going to kick my ass but never happened. I was really interested in girls but knew they wouldn't go for me, was in decent shape, good athlete, not bad in school, girls were never into me, they would always say I'm "alright" at best. At 14, my braces came off, went to highschool, no girls were really interested, talked to a few but could tell they weren't into me sexually. Kind of a social outcast, I found myself hanging with "stoners" some were considered the in-crowd...wouldn't consider myself a total loser in highschool, just never really got any girls, or played sports even though I was athletic, barely passing grades, just spent most of my time getting high. Senior year, I looked decent enough...and there were girls in my grade and younger who were obviously interested but at that time ... |
| | Posted by willie at March 16, 2011 |
about a year ago my parents divorced.and somehow by just that one terrible thing that happened in my life,it ruined me.i cry every night thinking about how much i hate my life.can you belive it one thing that happened turned my whole life around and completly ruined it.trust me every single person i meet treats me like crap and they know what im going through.i thought at first that i would be fine and ill be over the divorce in a couple days but no.its been a year and my life just gets worse and worse.my father is a wreck and a person i no longer want to be around.my father has done terrible things that i couldnt possibly belive. what the worst thing is is that im only 11 years old and this is how my life is.sometimes i get stressed, depressed, sad, mad etc. that i want to litirally want to kill myself. i just wish my life didnt turn out this way. and my sister is such a wreck too.my parents even my dad said i was to have no contact with her but i created a facebook just to stay in contact with her without my mom knowing, and yes i do agree shes messed up but i love her so much.right now im crying my eyes out.yeah try living a life like me without wanting to kill yourself every second of everyday. |
| | Posted by march madness at March 15, 2011 |
My youngest son, 30 yrs old moved back home w/girlfriend out of work out of money
then turns out he has bipolar on the manic side, was in the state hospital for three months. He has been back home for 18 months is trying to get disability, the girlfriend does nothing. Her father had loaned them one of his cars, it got stolen last week. My car is 17 yrs old and has spent considerable time in shop. It is now running. I can't afford to purchase another one. At work they have told me & others that we now make as much as we are ever going to make there. I cashed in my 401K to pay off half of the credit card debt I have which I got trying to help my son and manage. I have Type 2 diabetes now and deal with all that. I fell out of the bed that I've needed to replace but am trying to get out of debt. My oldest son's wife's stepmother has cancer. I don't want to burden them with any of my issues. My water pressure is about half what it should be now. The pipes are pretty old and should be replaced. I don't use my forced air heating system anymore because the blower doesn't work. I have kept warm with the use of electric heaters though. I just don't see anyway out of any of it. I have to be the strong one here and I am it's just getting to be to much. |
| | Posted by FedUp at March 15, 2011 |
Iowa sucks. My life sucks. It has for two decades now. I keep clinging to the hope that it will get easier and my dreams will come true; but working two crappy jobs and living in the middle of UGLY cornfields (MUD, since it's winter and the retarded farmers tilled it so more topsoil can erode into the Mississippi and/or blow in the wind since there's practically no trees to act as windbreakers, let alone any other wildlife) makes it depressing to go outside in the either too hot/cold/windy/stormy weather.
My jobs suck because I don't have a degree (but then, my boyfriend graduated from prestigious private college suma kum laude ..sp?... and his jobs suck too.) we both work two jobs so we can make enough money to pay our bills and maybe save up to get the hell outta here...until something breaks!!! Ugh! I can't STAND the ppl at my part-time job!!! A bunch of LOSERS!!! why do so many people here use drugs?!? I'm talking meth, not merely pot. 96% uses pot regularly. I wish more random drug tests would occur so these "people" lost their jobs. There's plenty of DECENT people looking for work. Then at my other job, before I got depressed, people were annoyed by me because I'm happy? WTF....why is negativity contagious but a positive attitude just breeds contempt in others and a will to destroy your life?!? I hate people. I hate it here. I want to move west closer to the Pacific Ocean....where people are more like-minded with me (on a good day...)
... |
| | Posted by Haskins at March 15, 2011 |
I guess its safe to say i hate my fucking life. I hate my friends, and my family especially. My parents are complete assholes. My sister thinks she has just the same power as them, and my brother thinks he better than me, because he can seduce underage girls into having sex with him in parks, all because he can get them drunk or high. I mean come on. Seriously?
Now i can understand that parents were just like us, with the same exact parents as they are now. Blah blah blah. But if anyone ever takes the time to think about it. Why must we continue the cycle? Why must we put our kids in the same bullshit as us? Is it because we feel they must suffer just as bad as we did? Or just because its fun? I don't get it.
But i hate having to do the same fucking rutine every fucking day. It gets old real fast. Having to get up and go to school just to come home and fight with the siblings and the parents. And then leave for an hour come back and start over.
And not only that. I'm 19. Never had a girlfriend, never had sex. Never did anything sexual once, except one time. I met a girl at a party. Hit it off afterwards. And it became known to eachother that we seriously like one another. And one night she gave me my first kiss. I fell hard. Heart always pounding when i knew she was coming over. Whenever she smiled i just wanted to tell her how i really felt. But i stayed strong hoping to make something of it. Then one night as the usual story goes. A so called friend of mi... |
| | Posted by Brian at March 15, 2011 |
Hi, Im Brian. For the sake that I dont give a fuck about my life anymore and just want to post this immediately, forgive my spelling/grammatical errors. My childhood was very good, couple mishaps here and there, just like everyone else. I have 1 brother, and he's always been a fucking asshole to me. Only once he matured at age 22 did he stop being such a fucking prick. The biggest scar he has left on me is that when we were young he would always fake like he was gonna punch me or throw me into a wall or some destructive shit like that, and sometimes he'd actually do it (most of the time). It got to the point where everytime I'd see him move quickly I would flinch like a crazed motherfucker. Well, now this trait has carried over even when I am now 19, and anytime someone happens to even move inside my personal "bubble", I like to call it, more like my personal space, COMPLETELY SUBCONSCIOUSLY I cannot help flinching. This isn't a normal flinch, either my head or me entire body will turn or abruptly move out of the way of that person as if they are about to punch me wherever. Everyone notices it and they think Im a pussy of some sort. Frankly I'm 6'6" so I'm far from a pussy. I just want to put my foot through the kid's jaw who thinks its funny that I LITERALLY cannot prevent myself from flinching, even if I focus my entire mind on not doing it. That's just one thing. I always got bullied at school and thus was always very emotional. In 6th grade everyone in my grade were a... |
| | Posted by Megs at March 15, 2011 |
So we all have our problems to face everyday, it sucks. So currently my problem is; my mother. Shes been an alcoholic for 8 years and I am sick of it. All i need is some advice on how to handle this situation, I have tried to talk to her, she won't listen or even remember what I say. I am starting to hate her for this even though she is my mother, she made a mess of my childhood, I don't recall a sober day since I was in second grade. I don't want my teen years to end this way I am currently 16, I would like to have a sober mother to whom I can share things and tell my problems to that would remember it the next day. She doesn't even know my age. My dad has been sober for two years now wich is great I just hope my mom will do so too before its too late. Her health is failing and her life is a huge mess. What should I do? |
| | Posted by D at March 15, 2011 |
My life, like the rest of the people's on here, sucks. I'm currently living with my drunk of a father because I don't have a job and can't afford to live on my own. (Which I have never been). I was a loner at school and never had friends. I was always picked on -- first verbally, but as I got older, this became physical, so when I was in middle school I was suspended once every two weeks because I was in another fight. (I'll never forget the first one I was in. Really kicked my ass). Ended up in a mental hospital called Tenbrooke when I was twelve for having suicidal thoughts because of my low-to-non-existant self esteem, anxiety, and depression. When I was in the eighth grade I moved in with my father, which really fucked up our relationship from that point on. I absolutely hated it here. The only thing that made me stay was the hope of actually getting a "girlfriend." (I use quotations because I'm the romantic type and thought that it was "love at first sight" and blah blah blah.) The only thing is is that girl I liked didn't even acknowledge my existance... No, I take that back. I think I once heared her say "I hate him so much" after I made a fool of myself. (Something I did cnstantly). Well, tentions with my father finally broke and I went back to my mothers. Well, after six years I'm here again. The girl I liked (and never got over) currently works at the local market. I don't think she remembers me, which is probably a good thing. My anxiety and depression have increased, while my self esteem has withered away. I think about suicide constantly now, though I don't think I'll ever do it. I long ago realized the futility of trying to change anything. Oh well. Still not as bad as some of the other stories I've read on this site. |
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