LIFE SUCKS : Childhood

Sucks 2

Every day when I was little I would sit in the corner of my room. Yeah you may think, "Oh its not so bad" try doing it with the thought of suicide, every one that you ever cared about is dead, and try surviving about 2-3 years of almost complete isolation, and no contact with the outside world. Oh don`t forget about the years without food part and the thought of being completly useless and wonder why you were born to this planet.

Venting

Ok so I've been physically and emotionally abused by my parents, as far as I can remember the first time was when I was 3 or 4 & stabbed with a fork. Molested and raped by my family growing up and by a guy who I thought was my friend. Never had any friends in school, always was made fun of because I was quiet. My parents never let me out of the house anyway as a teenager. Then finally got someone who I thought was nice to me and listened and protected me, my father's friend who is 32 years older then me. Fell in love, had to hide it until I was 18. Little did I know he took complete advantage of me, cheating the whole time, didn't know until I got pregnant with his kid at almost 19. Gave birth to my son and at 2 days old, he almost died in my arms. Turns out he has a very rare disease that effects 1 in 50,000 people. Now the most I can go is 4 hours without him eating or his blood sugar drops to dangerously low levels and could die. He needs to take very expensive medicine to stay alive and I'm getting very tired after 3 years of waking up every 3-4 hours but it has to be done. Shortly after I had my son I gained 70 lbs because of hypothyroidism and the weight just won't come off. I've discovered I have a breast deformity also. I've always had low self esteem and body image problems and now it's worse then ever. Guys always told me I was pretty but that was a big lie, never was pretty, never will be. Now I'm in college, trying to get in the dental hygiene program & having...

People think my life isn't bad??? try living it!

To all those who said my life isn't THAT bad, try being an orphan at 9 (mom died of a brain tumor when i was 2 and dad of lung cancer when i was 9) with a sexually abusive cousin (among others, but he was the prominent one), a step mom who beat me, in and out of the system til I was 18. Not to mention that one of my brothers "accidentally" shot himself in the head (I was 8, he was in his 20's), another died in a fire (I was 12, he was 32) and the third of pancreatic cancer (in 2005, he was 45). My sister died of an overdose last august, 8 1/2 months pregnant and took the kid with her (she was 44 and left behind 6 children). Oh and NOW, i no longer have my dead end job, I was fired from it and can't find another one, i can't collect unemplyment because i was fired and can't get welfare because I'm "able" to work. The doctors wont give me a note to get diability (ibs/anxiety disorder). I have psychotic raging tantrums when I can't find stuff. So bad that last week, i ended up in the hospital after threatening to take a bottle of pills because i lost my bag of pot, I was escorted out by police to be strapped into an ambulance and the WHOLE neighbouhood saw me being towed away.

At 30 years old, I'm left with serious intimacy issues, so that leaves me with no friends, no hope of being in a normal relationship and the fact that I'm gonna die alone. Ever since I was born, i was cursed to be miserable. Don't get me wrong, I know that misery is apparently a "choice" ppl ...

33 years and going down

Born from parents with depression issues. Pops left when I was about 5 or so. I used to find liquor bottles "hidden" all over the house. Been beat up a few times no one was there to help me ( I'm an only child) a loner. Never got to really bond with anybody my age as such because I was always moving around. So here I am with a beautiful wife 2 children. No job, no prospects of getting a job (economy),
Wife is not working, shes on unemployment. Seems like all the desisions I make are the wrong ones. I had a job that was paying the bills while tuning me into a pint( most times more) a day alcoholic. It was killing me to work at that place. I stuck it out for 2 or so years because I had to feed my family. But it got to the point where I had to send myself home due to intoxication and not remembering how I got home a few nights. Nobody understood what I was/am going through. They say stick it out, what will there be left of me by the time something else rolls along? a drunk? So I quit. No money, I'm "Happy" cause Im not at that miserable place, but now everybody else is looking at me like I'm a crazy selfish fool.

suicide has crossed my mind, but I have to much love for my family to put them through that. I also thought about taking a loooong walk to where ever and just waiting for my day. I left out a lot of stuff, but this is where I am today.....

LIFE REALLY SUCKS. Only thing I see is tragedy day after day after day. If all I have to look forward to is more struggle and very brief glimpses of happiness, I really am read to give up on this.

Whats the point?

I grew up under horrible circumstances, born to two alcoholic and drug addict parents. My father molested my older half brother and sister for many years. Parents divorced when I was 12 and my mother moved in with a drug dealer. She took my younger brother with her and abandoned my younger sister and I. We were left alone, sometimes to be looked after by our older alcoholic bi-polar brother. When I was 14 we were evicted and my mother moved us in with her boyfriend. There was never any food in the house and I couldn't even eat anything that required a spoon because they were all blackened from drug use. When I was 16 the state took us away and we went to live with our older sister. It was a godsend. I graduated high school with straight A's and art honors.

I dated a deadbeat alcoholic for five years and I finally had had enough this past December and kicked him out. I was promoted at work and so happy that I would be able to finally have extra money to save. It turned out that the promotion wasn't a good thing. My hours were cut by more than 12 a week and I can barely afford my rent now. My car broke down in March and because I barely get any hours at work I haven't been able to get it fixed. I depend on friends for rides as I have no family with a car. I work at 5a almost everyday and haven't slept in months. I've lived in my apartment for two years and it's literally falling in. The people upstairs have flooded my bedroom half a dozen times and there's mold growing everywhere. The pantry room off my kitchen has a busted pipe and leaks sewage down the walls from the upstairs apartment. My landlord worked on it for a couple days, but hasn't been back in months to finish. It smells horrid and I fear for my health. I have no health insurance and haven't been to a doctor since 2005. I've lived on my own and supported myself since I was 18 and it's terrifying knowing that I have no one to depend on if I needed it.

Wait til you read about my life...

Wow, ok lets get started...I'm a 45 year old woman...I was adopted at my birth to a couple who had decided that adopting a child would help save their marriage. They then later adopted another little girl to be my sister.
I was picked on horribly in school, no friends, younger sister had to protect me from bullies.
Parents divorced with a huge custody battle that lasted 3 months with my sister and I being forced to live at the mean neighbors house down the road.
3 years later when I was 13, my moms mom died, my mom died and not 2 weeks later my dads mom died, and 9 months later my great aunt died.
Dad did the best he could but was in a car accident, hitting his head on a windshield, suffering a brain disorder called a-typical-unusual psychosis. Suffereing paranoia, he lost his job of 23 years, forcing him into retirement.
My sister and I were ripped away from him and put into a foster home, he got us back in 3 weeks.
At 16 I was date raped, my sister at 17 got pregnant, at 20 I was in an abusive relationship and had a child. Married the guy, but divorced him when my child was 10 and tried to start a new life.
Father couldn't live alone, got medical treatment and was doing much better but wasn't his old self.
I have been raped and abused 5 different times, had 2 major surgeries and 2 herniated discs with nerve damage...unable to work to properly care for my child.
Met a really nice guy, my daughter growing up, has lots of problems...

SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK

Im 16, I live in Los Angeles. I thought I'd give you a piece of the only 2 good qualities of my life. Eh, nevermind those suck too. Anyways...

I have been homeless 7 times within my 16 years. My parents were never together, and my Dad told me it only took 10 minutes to make me and those 10 minutes have ruined his entire life.

The first time I remember being homeless was during 1st grade at the age of 5. I remember the other kids in my class laughing and running around and me just sitting in a chair wishing I could be this happy and repeating to myself "Im Homeless". My mother has always taken care of me in all ways, she just made terrible decisions in life which have affected me. We never were outside sleeping but always in motels or in our car. We would get a place for about a year and when she couldn't pay the rent, we were back in the same position. I've always been resilient so I never complained about my life, it just was what it was and I loved my mom and never wanted to her to think I was unhappy although I always was.


Believe it or not, 11, almost 12, years later this is still my life and it upsets me more now then ever. My mother lost her car in 2010 due to unpaid tickets and I have been on the bus ever since, although this is nothing major or anything to complain about, but it is pretty hard trying to be a teenager when you don;t have the transportation you need to just be with your friends.

November 4th, I left for s...

FUCK

I was born in a family where there's so much dissapointment,when I was about 10 years old my mom had to work nights to pay rent to a shitty-ass house and my dad who is a alcoholic worked morning to late afternoon,and after my mother came home from work she has to turn around and take my older brother to school which he didn't go to school to learn,he went to socialize,my mom spent all that time taking him to school and gas for nothing,my brother had spent three years in the 10th grade,then at 15 i've lost my virginity to my boyfriend,which he was a grown man,we seen eachother without my parents knowing, then a few months later my mom found out about us and ripped us apart,i'm now sixteen and i found out that i had depression and bipolar disoder,my mom won't let me go to public school because I have angry out bursts sometimes, and now we live at a trailor park were the people next door are always loud night and day,my older brother is twenty-one and he mentally abuses me everyday,and sometimes we have fights and not like the ones that brothers and sisters have,they're very brutal, just two months ago we had a fight and he ended up beating me with a broom and kicking me in the back of the head,when he was finish with me my head was bleeding,i had bruises,i thought i was going to die,I just started smoking cigarettes because of the stress from life and from my brother,I'm looking for work and I have no luck finding a job,every night I stay up and just wanting to die,wanting all of it to end,no other person has it THIS bad.

Alone in this world.

It really is sickening, reading through all of these stories, getting a glimpse at how many of us truly are alone. I feel for all of you, and I am sorry the majority of people have lost common decency... I am twenty-one years of age, and I am very alone in this world, both involuntarily, and by choice. I'll explain what I mean. Much alike all of you, I had a terrible upbringing--my mom working all day, every day, my dad abusing my four siblings and myself, physically, mentally, emotionally. Day in, day out, I was abused. Beaten for petty reasons, like not walking home a mile from my friends, just to find the television remote for my dad, or not making him coffee, or speaking up against his onslaught of abusive, manipulate behaviors. I have chosen, since adulthood, to distance myself from my family. My siblings all care for each other, but they are so messed up that they can't properly take care of themselves, let alone help one of us out, in dire need. I haven't talked to my parents in ages. I ignore their calls, delete their text messages, and block them from my mind as best I can. Life outside of the home was always great. I always maintained a mass-group of close-knit friends; I was the 'popular' kid in school, always dated the best looking girls in school, always went to parties, and everyone wanted to be around me. I am good-looking, physically fit, with a high IQ and have many hobbies--writing being one of those hobbies. After I graduated, I got a job, and moved ou...

my famikys slave

I was sexualy abused by my stepfather when I was 7 my mother was and is still a very bad drunk who chose him over me. So I was raised by my grandparents who never let me leave the house outside of going to school, I was theyre personal slave doing everything for them cooking cleaning laundry grocery shopping you name it. Ive never met my real father and havw been beaten my whole childhood. I left home when I turned 18 settled down ans had two children with an unloving and very unemotiinal man I live a boring life I never do anything.besides cooking cleaning and taking care of my children. Im still taking care of my grandparents bwcauae no oneelae in my family will help. My whole family uses me for anything and everything they can and they treat me like crap. Im so tired sometimes I wonder if I can keep going like this.. The only thing that keeps me from killing myself is my tqo children who I love with my entire heart. I hope things change!

My life has always sucked

Well, I guess I just want to tell my sad story though perhaps some may not see it that way. So, my mom was always crazy, and not the typical crazy. She was depressed, paranoid and I believe that she is deeply and profoundly broken. Growing up she abused me mentally and physically. From the time I was 2 till about 10, I was always covered on bruises and sometimes couldn't even move because of excruciating pain. She would also psychologically abuse me by calling me fat, stupid, a slob, etc until i would break down and cry but that didnt seem to male her want to stop. My dad adored me in his own way but was always gone and never seemed to notice how abusive my mom was. I was molested when I was 4 by a neighbor and raped when I was almost 9. The sad part is thar no one even knew until I told my mom when I was 16 and of course she blamed me, but now she is just refusing to even acknowledge that it even happened. Well, when I was 17 I decided to leave home and move in with my God mother, who didn't have any children and always seemed to like me. I had a great 7 month. Finally I had someone who cared for me, who got up in the morning to make me breakfast and take me to school. I finally had someone who I can talk to, someone I can laugh with, someone who found me smart, charming and funny. But of course my life sucks so This didn't last for long. My parents wanted me back and they made it very clear that they would stop at nothing. Finally I caved in and moved back in the he'll ...

I hate my life.

I didn't have a very difficult life but I lived a very sheltered and lonely life. My mom and dad fought very much when I was little and still do, I didn't have the greatest family relationships and that caused a great rift, I'm not going into detail with that. When I was younger I didn't go out very much I had very little friends I rarely hung out with people so I was always left alone in my room. My parents were and still are very strict so they didn't allow me to do many things such as go to parties very much, go trick-or-treating, go on sleep overs, and many other things kids usually did. I didn't have many friends so I had to entertain myself by talking to my stuffed animals and essentially talking to myself. I was born with a speech delay so I didn't learn to speak properly until I was around 6 or 7 and still struggled to speak. Kids made fun of me and took advantage of me. I remember one day when I was at the park with my cousin a kid kept on calling me a retard and it really hurt me because I was so young. I was so naïve and dumb and so lonely that it caused me to become very sad a lot. Everyone would ask me why I was so sad all the time and I never told them why because I was too embarrassed to tell them. I had very low self-worth and basically no confidence in myself. I started becoming increasingly afraid and sad because I wanted to live a long life. In high school I suffered the first year because I didn't like my high school and it was hard for me to make some...

Broken

My life sucks, because I am incredibly alone. Its hard to go into everything painful that happened in my life. The main traumas were, my brother had anal sex with me when I was a kid, because our babysitter abused him while she locked me in my room. My mother was never all there. She was very cold and abrasive. She didn't cook or clean or read to us or do any touches to the house to make it a home. My father was an alcoholic. They had really bad fights that got loud and physical everyday. Once my father almost killed my mother. When I was 10 and 11 my mother had two more kids. She was cheating on my dad and my dad was at his worse violence and alcoholism too. They divorced and then, my father left. My mother worked nights so everyday after school, I would try to take care of my baby brother and sister. But we lived in a bad neighborhood. We were terrorized, because kids and parents alike knew we had no-one to defend us, They beat the crap out of my baby brother and sister for no reason, other than the fact we were the only white people or maybe it was just the fact we were, like I said, defenseless. I would try to chase after them but they ran away, so I tried to keep my brother and sister inside, but it was too chaotic and hard on me, because I was 13 when I started caring for them full time. The sexual abuse was already eating away at me (and the fact as a child we moved every year, so I didn't have any foundation, or friends.) On top of that we dressed poor. My mother...

empty

I'm 33. Parents fought all through my childhood and were alcoholics. I don't remember many sober days with them, especially not with my dad. They never divorced because they were too lazy to, and I'm pretty sure when my dad went to jail for beating the shit out of my mom, my mom went crazy. I heard them fighting from my bed room and I came in to see him destroying her. I have never felt so much pain.
I think I am emotionless now... I have been through so much that nothing affects me, religion didn't work, I have no interests, I am a manager at a crappy store. I am barely making ends meet. I am fat and hideous. I have only had sex once. I look in the mirror and want to punch it in. I have one friend who ignores me a lot because I think I bore him. I see my mom occasionally but I think she has lost her mind and my dad died 2 years ago.
I am very alone. I think I just won't kill myself because I'm too much of a pussy to face the afterlife. There are so many different religions and possible hells I could endure if I killed myself... If I knew for a fact that your mind just stopped after death, I would have been dead a long time ago.
I also drink heavily. I promised myself I would never drink but things just got so bad that I knew anything other than being sober minded was good for me.

Abuse

I will be 50 in a few months, and I still carry the scares of abuse with me like a blanket. My abuse started the day I was born, being born to people that didn't want me. They cared more for their own lives to care about me. I was born with cataracts so I spent a lot of time in the hospital, with no visits from either parent. The 2 people that gave me life was cheating on each other, so they divorced when I was 4 yrs old. My mother always seemed to find guys that wanted to beat me, touch me in ways that they shouldn't, or both. School was hell for me, I was beaten, and made fun of, then came home would get beaten there also. Between kindergarten, and 6 grade I went to 11 different schools, I quit school in the 7th i was 16. My mom held a gun to my head at 11, I was beaten by a bunch of kids, and I ran from the school, she was called away from her job, and desired to kill me. The guy she was living with at the time stopped her because it was his gun, not because it was the wrong thing to do. The last guy she was with was the one that gave me the most pain, and my mom chose him over me. She gave me up, sent me away so she could be with him. She held a picture of him for many yrs,the man who raped me, and I was sent away because of it. He told me though, if I told her she wouldn't believe me, he was right. My life sucks so much now, I cant have a good relationship, I always choose guys that are wrong for me. I am with one now that has so many women it's not funny, I have caught him in so many lies. I need to get away from him, but all the crap he puts me through makes me hold on even tighter.

SPRINTING TO THE WAYSIDE

My mom full time drug dealer ex-beautician. my dad a disbarred criminal defense attorney & drug addict/ musician. i start smoking bud at 7 &the 20 dip-shit tweakerz living in my house, they we're everywhere the attic every room in the house except mine, the back yard in a tent, the garage. don't get me wrong I'm not saying anything bad about my parents they did whatever they had 2 4 me, but they let ppl take advantage of them. some1 decides to rob an electronics store for like 36 big screens &sell them at yard sales in my front yard! so needless to say my house gets raided i get a gun pointed at my face &this is all before i was 10 yrs old! sent to live with a verbally abusive uncle & aunt who used me to defend herself from him i was tormented seriously contemplated murder on the daily sobbed at least twice a day got in fights constantly(got jumped by 7 high school girls in 7th grade)&the only reason i didn't kill myself was hoping my family would get bak 2gether. which all ended when my dad died of pancreatic cancer 3wks after his diagnoses when i was 15. then i was on self destruct mode. running with the wrong crowd that was way older then me became a hard drug addict &then got arrested on the 1st anniversary of my dads death on my way to get a RIP tatt that i would've regretted drunk as i'd ever get, belligerent as hell ¬ taking any shit. go figure. i get released why, i dont know. but that was the 1st time i'd ever disrespected my uncle &the day i knew it was time ...

hell

My mother abandoned me when I was 7, but before she did, she did some great damage. I was always deprived of food and social contact. Whenever possible, I would be locked indoors, so that people could not see how scrawny I was. Whenever I did go outside, she would layer me with clothes (even on a hot summer day), so as to "bulk" me up. Sometimes she locked me up in a dark bathroom and told to stay quiet, whenever her bf came over to fuck. Her boyfriend would always threaten and hit me.
A few years later, my family (now with a stepmother) moved to North America, where I was bullied in school and became a total social outcast.
I had no friends throughout school (all of it), largely due to the fact I was very shy. In high school, I was still a target to bullying and fights, as I was labeled as "different" by everyone. At the time, I never had what most kids took for granted (nice clothes, money and an abundance of tasty food).
I had to live with emotionally abusive, arrogant parents (who would only tell me how much of a failure I am going to grow up to be). This would only further bruise my already crushed self-esteem. I never once stood up to them, because I thought I had it "good" (at least they didn't physically abuse me).
I never even thought of girls, cars or partying as a teenager, because I never thought I was worthy of such "gifts".
I went to college for a year only to start binge drinking and break away from my parents (to live on my own). I had to learn social skills quickly (to keep up with everyone else), and even trained myself to completely lose my foreign accent. I've stopped drinking (haven't had a single sip for over two years now) and never done any drugs. Yes, I feel cheated out of the life that I could have had, and yes I am bitter and hurting about the life I had. But I have learned to stay positive, because even after all this hell, I can say that I've made it.

my life sucks

when i was 8 years old my mother had passed and then i felt like the world was ending.i never stoped feeling this way and when the popular kids come by they are always mean too me.nw i have a few friends but then right after my closest person in my life had died my grandpa.that is when my workd fell apart.i sit alone at the lunch table every day just waiting to get my life over with.this was the worst life ever.i wish i can just leave forever and never come back.

Following the trail of my mother

When I was born, my mom, from what i hear now from my older cousin, started rocking back and forth and became autistic after she had me. My brother was born 7 years before me. When I was three, apparently my mom had lost it, and divorced my dad. She moved away, and by away I mean more than halfway across the country. She landed in Illinois, where she met my soon to be stepfather, named Dennis. I went to see her every summer until I was ten, and that's when she ended her own life in Florida, while I was here in California with my dad. She stabbed herself in the heart while her mom was in the bathroom. My grandma came out, and there was my mother, bleeding and eventually passing away on the kitchen floor. I remember vividly, my dad propping up on his knees in a rocking chair, and telling me my mother was dead. I went into my brothers room, crying, and looked upon his face to see him crying. What a weird moment. i was ten, and did not understand. See, nobody had ever told me that she tried to kill herself 4 times before. That she was Bipolar and Manic-depressive. These details were kept hidden from me, to spare my young heart. A year later, my dad married a woman. This woman had two kids, they went to see their dad often, because he lived close, unlike my mother where contact was pretty much severed except for the summer when I went to see her those 7 years. This woman and I got into a little argument, which is when she told my "your mother was a stupid bitc...

ok where to begin? dont know why the fuck I am doing this, but whatever. Obviously my problems may pale in comparison to other but who gives a fuck?? Let's start from the beginning. Born in 1981, within 6 months was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, so basically i was expected to die by my mid 20's. Not exactly a confidence builder. Had friends throughout school, but I was always the shy kid, never went on dates, incredibly awkward around girls, never went to senior prom, blah blah blah. Doesnt help that senior year i was also diagnosed with type I diabetes. Really beginning to rack up these diseases. Again, not a huge confidence builder. Anyways, college was better, definitely grew out of my shell, but still incredibly fucking awkward when trying to date girls, and the only ones i ever hooked up with always seemed to involve alcohol. I discovered I suffer from the nice guy syndrome, where all I hear is the I like you as a friend or you are too nice of a guy for me. Never understood how you can be too nice, do people like getting treated like shit or what? Anyways, like everyone else had no idea what to do after college, which was even weirder for me considering that I was expected orginally to be dead by 25 or so. So I never figured i would plan for a future, but ended going to grasd school for what i though was my passion. instead its 4 years later and I still cant even get a fucking draft of my thesis to my adviser, I have all my data, i just cant write the d...