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Posted by Angel at June 2, 2011
Tags: Abuse  Childhood  Health  2011 June

I will be 50 in a few months, and I still carry the scares of abuse with me like a blanket. My abuse started the day I was born, being born to people that didn't want me. They cared more for their own lives to care about me. I was born with cataracts so I spent a lot of time in the hospital, with no visits from either parent. The 2 people that gave me life was cheating on each other, so they divorced when I was 4 yrs old. My mother always seemed to find guys that wanted to beat me, touch me in ways that they shouldn't, or both. School was hell for me, I was beaten, and made fun of, then came home would get beaten there also. Between kindergarten, and 6 grade I went to 11 different schools, I quit school in the 7th i was 16. My mom held a gun to my head at 11, I was beaten by a bunch of kids, and I ran from the school, she was called away from her job, and desired to kill me. The guy she was living with at the time stopped her because it was his gun, not because it was the wrong thing to do. The last guy she was with was the one that gave me the most pain, and my mom chose him over me. She gave me up, sent me away so she could be with him. She held a picture of him for many yrs,the man who raped me, and I was sent away because of it. He told me though, if I told her she wouldn't believe me, he was right. My life sucks so much now, I cant have a good relationship, I always choose guys that are wrong for me. I am with one now that has so many women it's not funny, I have caught him in so many lies. I need to get away from him, but all the crap he puts me through makes me hold on even tighter.


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New Comment

By at 24,Jun,11 10:38

i hope you get better. you are a precious person.

By anonymous at 24,Jun,11 11:44

i really feel for you- hang in there

By anonymous at 24,Jun,11 12:14

seems your mother was a total bitch !! well hopefully she is dead and if not fuck her dont go near her again.

try tell your self outload that its gone now and what time i have left i will spend on me cause i deserve to stop punishing myself ...................fuck em !!! dont let em destroy you ...some people get a kick out of it.


By anonymous at 24,Jun,11 21:29

Find a desperate fat ugly guy with enough money who wont cheat on you or abuse you. Thats what I did. Theres no reason to be with jerks like the ones your mother was with. I had a dysfunctional childhood too. Sons of bitches like to prey on women who are alone and desperate and have no family for support, no foundation. Fuck them! Find a fat dude with money. Sex isn't great but you're not gonna get really excited with a guy who cheats on you.

By anonymous at 25,Jun,11 20:56

tell yourself you r good enough dont let your past define your future everyday tell yourself you are beautifully and wonderfully made get some counsel you cant move forward until you work through the past life doesnt have to suck

By Rose Parham at 24,Aug,11 00:44

This is sick and wrong and illegal and I can't even begin to say how sorry I feel for you. I lived in a fairly abusive drug house until I was 7, now I'm 13 and living with indulgent and wealthy aunt and uncle. It makes my cry to think that you, is is far more deserving of a happily-ever-after than me, is the one who didn't get it. I am so sorry.

By anonymous at 08,Sep,11 00:18

That's all sad about your childhood, but what is pitiful is you let yourself be abused and cheated on instead of learning lessons and being strong. There are many men out in the world who are very lonely and hurt like you. But you choose to give love and hold on tighter to people who put pain into the world. You make the world a worse place because, by all indications, you make no effort to make it better for others and give love to people who don't even want it from you. sad.
By anonymous at 07,Nov,11 05:15

ok that just makes her feel worse! try something nicer! to author: leave the crappy man you are with now, and work on loving yourself, see a counsellor if you have to. A lovely man will come by very soon, believe in it! I believe in it! I am going to start volunteering, and I believe I will meet people who will like me for me and not for my looks!

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By Brynell at 27,Dec,16 14:37

Many many quliaty points there.

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