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Posted by anonymous at September 17, 2011
Tags: Abuse  Childhood  2011 September  Sexuality

i was still young when my older brother told me to play a game...i only realized it was sexual abuse when i turned 13. it happened around 10-15 times from what i remember. once, his friend also "played a game" with me. there was also this physically abusive dad, not only to me but also to my brother and mother. i couldn't complain...because i was just adopted. i felt so rejected, because of my real parents abandoning me. my brother wasn't adopted. my mom can't bear any more children after him. i love my mom. she was so kind and caring, and the reason i didn't leave was because of her.

i became a closet gay. i pretended to be straight, because i was traumatized by rejection. there were also the bullies at school and the sexists. i've even pretended to fall in love with women, but in fact i fell in love with some of my straight friends. i can't express my love to them, since they were straight and they'll become awkward and possibly not talk to me ever again. so, i hid all my feelings to myself. it was really painful, but it's my way of dealing with it. i just wish that i could meet someone out there who can be my special someone, the person who i will love and love me back.


Similar Entries:
Desolation May 24, 2012
Abused 20 years later - Depressed - Life Ruined May 18, 2011
this is a test, pass it with your all November 3, 2010
Anxiety and Stress February 26, 2012
Race, Religion, and Acceptance May 28, 2010

New Comment

By anonymous at 15,Nov,11 18:12

insensitive jerks? with an s! most of those are from one person with diferent voices in my head saying diferent viewpoints. i believe in not candy coating my things i say and if weak people can't hack that too fucking bad. NOBODY SAID THIS WAS A FORCED PITTY PARTY SO YOU GROW UP , YES?
By deadman at 15,Nov,11 18:18

ps- i will now use the name of DEADMAN, i am proud to put my name on my writings. so there!
By at 15,Nov,11 18:22

pps- my other names fab-u-lous! so double there! :)
By anonymous at 16,Nov,11 13:16 Fold Up

ok, then that makes that person with diferent voices in their head saying diferent viewpoints an INSENSITIVE JERK! so you grow up, yes?
By deadman at 16,Nov,11 17:59

what's your problem with me you weirdo? i say that because your name seems to be anonymous! my opinions are valid even though you may not agree or like them so please settle down and stop being a clown. an apology is maybe due? would someone today do the right thing? i dunno! let's see!

By anonymous at 15,Nov,11 19:52

Fabulous deadman your a QUACK..!!!!
By deadman at 15,Nov,11 20:00

if i'm quack what are you the ducks anus? no, i love ya doofus!
By anonymous at 16,Nov,11 00:20

I love you too doofus quack..
By anonymous at 16,Nov,11 13:22 Fold Up

no,since you're the quack that would also make you the quack anus, because the anus is stuck to the quack and is part of the quack..
By anonymous at 16,Nov,11 02:13 Fold Up

you're not your

By deadman at 16,Nov,11 00:40

mmmmm! what a love fest. deadman thinks everyone should take the time to NOT be anonymous and use a "name". so who are you?

By deadman at 16,Nov,11 01:07

†_††__†___†_††_† this is my graveyard where deadman lives, with wall to wall creeps and hot and cold running.....c-h-i-l-l-s!
By anonymous at 16,Nov,11 02:26

By what's up there..that's how..

By anonymous at 16,Nov,11 02:06

Deadman is a mystery..
By deadman at 16,Nov,11 02:10

how so ????????

By deadman at 16,Nov,11 02:22

goodnight from in peace †

By anonymous at 16,Nov,11 02:35

Good night doofus... Sweet dreams...

By anonymous at 16,Nov,11 16:16

Creap.. Creap..has the dead awoke yet...+_+_+_

By deadman at 16,Nov,11 16:55

iv'e been zround all day, my cold hand reaches from the crypt. †

By anonymous at 16,Nov,11 19:23

Are they pale??
By deadman at 16,Nov,11 20:02

my skins gone blueish, i'm cold and dead you see.

By anonymous at 16,Nov,11 20:50

So if your blueish than technicaly u are not dead yet, you're lacking oxygen..yes?
By deadman at 16,Nov,11 21:14

relax, your obsessed, just breathe and relax. this sites not all about me.

By anonymous at 17,Nov,11 00:04

Oo ..hush n check out the (eat a dick life )post
By deadman at 17,Nov,11 01:24

yes this ones closed, i'm on to new stuff.

By anonymous at 17,Nov,11 03:08

Hmm.. Sep.24th, & its closed?what date does this post have? Interesting .. Oo well..

By anonymous at 22,Nov,11 20:37

Lord have people become bloody mad, whoever wrote tis post, I suggest try to find a partner, maybe a website or something. Be who you are, that traumatic event in your life, find an outlet to forget it, therapy, meditation, anything that might help. Well good day. Wish you luck with your life.

By anonymous at 25,Nov,11 02:24


By Nike?Air?Jordan?8?Retro at 25,Aug,14 13:31

0 8 0 , QB 9 18 0 97 5.chocotreasure.

By Nike Air Max LED at 10,Jan,15 07:37

Rebah gadis itu.ˇ± agak tinggi suara Huda.ˇ±ˇ°ermmm,Cerpen : Cerita Cinta Pertama Nama Pena : Asmalia Firham Hari iniˇ± Khairil Izuan berbahasa sedikit kendur. Apa pendapat kau ? setentang denganku. hehe. Dia terus berlalu ke kereta. ˇ°Baru nak balik?ˇ°Jom. Yang lelaki punya baju macamana?=D

By Cordy at 15,May,17 01:46

Such an inroamftive post....if u ever take up a job to cover city beats, then you will be tops in it for sure!!Need to check out some of the places you have mentioned!

New Comment