LIFE SUCKS : 2010 November

So tired....

I am in my mid-career, but the effects of my fucked up mother's curse on my life - the abuse haunt me day in and day out. I also had to contend with daily bullying from 6-12th grade. How or WHY I survived, I don't know. I am so tired. So worn down. I'm in recovery, but really just a dry drunk. My mind, heart and soul are so fucked up, I don't know which direction to turn next. My sponsor says to focus on the spiritual. That's tough because I really felt abandoned for many years, including by GOD. Many days, I just wish he would take me on home. I used to be afraid to die, but am no longer. Because I yearn for it. I'm just floating through this miserable life. I wish it could start over, but that's just a fucking fantasy-world.

I want to be in a boy band but i dont want to suck.
i want to be in a boy band but not be the one that dont do much.
I want to be in a boy band so bad, that it hurts but i no i wont make it which hurts even more.
I wanna be up there with the greatest like rowan keeten. To be adored as much as he is.

I tell my daddy, daddy i want to be in a boy band, and he shouts to me "no son thats for gay boys and pricks you shall play football and be good at it!" The trows his budwiser in my face and tells me to get out and not come back till tomorrow.

my mum dosent stick up for me cause shes scaed because she used to be in a girl group, and daddy changed all that, she used to sing and dance, she was so happy then dad tured, he changed alot ever since the heart attack he had. But he wont let it drop, just cause he lost his carrer he thinks everyone eles in the family should.

So close but so far

Well I'm 19 and about to go on a 2 year mission for my church in a month. But 2 weeks ago me and my friend realized that we were perfect for eachother. She and I both want to start dateing but at the same time don't want to because it will make it very hard for me to leave. I am also afraid that while I'm gone she will find someone else because I'm not there. That would crush me because I have been waiting and searching for her the one that makes me whole all of my life.

need help

For some time now i find myself in these sticky situations, i just cant help myself, i start the night out with my mates clubs and pubs having the good time with the lads, looking at the ladies, banging on about sport, then i get a few drinks down my neck and before i no it, i am giving head to the nearest man in run down toilet.

I Like men and i dont want to like men. I am the popular one in school, i am the team captain, the one everyone wants to be around but I like cock, makes me feel sick and everyone that knows me will feel sick. My Dad will hate me for sure, my mum wont speak to me, and my friends will push me away.

I dont no what to do. I cant go on keeping a secret, but i am to scared to tell, and a part of me hate its to.

i hate my life so much

ok my life sucks my mom and dad think I'm depressed and got a therapist to find out why i am how i am and i hate that my mother and father would do that i don't need help from some random stranger i don't like the resend i am disconnected and locked in my room or never home is because i go to glbt groups my parents don't even know about i want to tell them that I'm gay i want to shout it at them just yell it to the world but every time i bring my self to say it the words get stuck in my throat it feels like i cant breath my lungs feel like there getting ripped out of my chest and my heart hurts i feel like crap my two best friends and his girlfriend got killed in a car crash some stupid drunk driver and shit like that i had to spend a night in jail because me and my stupid 18year old brother got in to a fight with me and he said i hit him first and i feel if i tell my parents that there son is gay they will flip

Moany Mum

My room isn't warm enough in the morning, so I have a little heater but my shirt is lace and when I was warming it up it melted a bit and I cut my finger on it when I teared it apart. Then I left my college work and phone at home. My Mum said to write her number down an text her when we leave. I knew she'd be in town at about half 2, we left at 1 but I thought not to text and just find her car in the car park and wait for her, me and my boyfriend couldn't find her car, it got to 3 so we gave up, I had to take �3 out of my bank for the bus, now I only have �2 something left. My ALG still hasn't come through and because I didn't text, Mum waiting around at college till 4? Now she's not speaking to me and me and my boyfriend. We feel banned to my bedroom. We need to go to college tomorrow but my boyfriend doesn't have buss money and nor do I to spare, Mum usually takes us in but she's not speaking to us so we don't know what to do. And she is never ever off the phone. It's really annoying. My life sucks so much.

I don't have a sad story of terminally ill family or close loss, but I feel like I've lost myself. Has anyone felt like they are just drowning? I have become so unmotivated and so insecure in my abilities to do anything. I also can't stand the way I look. I've gained 20 lbs since I used to be good looking in high school. I feel like I peeked in high school and ever since my life just keeps going down that hill. My friends have become more distant. I graduated college 5 months ago and still can't bring myself to apply to any jobs because I don't feel I'm qualified for anything. My grandmother has told me I kind of disappointed her. I was sent a job posting 2 weeks ago by someone I knew and I might have a good chance at getting this job, but I'm so insecure with myself I never applied. As long as I don't tell anyone about it, it's like it never happened. Missed opportunities weigh heavy on me. Guess my life doesn't suck but it isn't fun right now.

Some women just don't appreciate

Got a beautiful daughter with one woman who was so lazy and didn't like my family. After trying to live with her for 2 years I decided to let her go. Immediately after that, I married another woman who is a Christian, and thought all my problems were gone. She WAS so sweet. She has a daughter of her own who loves me so much, and even calls me Daddy. After the day they brought her home, she was already saying that she wanted to go back to her mother's place. I regret now not having let her go, then. She said that for about 3 months and got pregnant in the process!
She even asked me for money to abort saying the pregnancy was not worth it since we couldn't stay together. She once suggested that we privately have sex partners, and I turned that down. After that, I told her that the net time she says she wants to go back, I'll let her go never to come back. That was the last time she said that! Now she says that once she delivers the child and gets another job she'll leave me alone so I can live my life.
Should I ask her for a divorce now and let her go? Or, should I wait until she delivers until I let her off?

My life has been going downhill

Hi im 17 years old and ever since i was in year 10 at high school my life went very downhill. It all started with this kid who repeated year 10 used 2 piss me off BAD but my friends and everyone at school stayed out of it cause they were all affraid of him even teachers were scared of him till one day on the bus he puched me hard in the side of my face soo i got up and kicked his face into the window cracking the window i got introuble off the driver cause no-one saw him punch me then i got off the bus and 8 others did with him he chased me 2 my house beat my head in over 10 times b4 i could punch him in the nose which i broke doing soo after that he left school i changed schools i was kinda a nerdy kid but i didnt take no shit from anyone when i changed schools i lost contact with all my friends even my best friend who had been my friend since we were 10 i started at a new school with no friends i eventually gained about 9 friends within a few months soo i wasnt a loner but it wasnt long after i had started at the school did i realise that i had bad memory loss BAD memorly loss idk if it was from when he beat my head in or not and i went from being a smart kid 2 being in all the low classes i managed 2 get my school certificate but i didnt bother 2 go on any further with school cause of my memory loss so now in 2010 1 year after leaving school i aquired a job at the local dollar discount shop few blocks away from me and im having even worse memory loss i have 2 take a n...

i'm so pi***d off!

so, i really have issues with people. so, i ditched a lot of people. turns out that these so-called friends that i don't talk to are friends with woman beaters and rapists. real whacked. i am so fricken angry i could punch my car. i wish anger went away. people are so dimented. of course these people all smoke crack and sleep with each other. how do i get rid of this decade long anger? anger never dies. people don't give a crap. i hate them. i hate them all. i am not living near any of them anymore, good thing. however i am still haunted by their stupidity.
nice people. real messed up. why am i so fricken angry? why? why? i just want to get this anger out, however there is no way.

they call me a psycco because i have morals and am not fake. what is up with them? will this ever go away? i wish it would. truth is, anger never goes away. it just festers and sits there dormant.

I wish i had the balls to die.

I fucked up so bad and have put my family through hell. I can't get it together and don't know why. I took a gamble and left a job shit pay but a job and it backfired so now no christmas for the kids and just another huge let down for the wife. I have considered if i just left they would be better off but the selfish side won't let that happen because i am a chicken shit coward always have been always will be and I am doing nothing but dragging them down with me. I love them more than words but i'm sorry they got stuck with a fat ass ugly no talent bag of shit like me i pray i'll die in my sleep and everything will be alright for them I know they will miss me and all but I am an unfunctional fucked up asshole who should die and when I am finally out of the way they can move on and have the things everyone else does.....

i hate everything.

my life sucks on a daily basis. my parents dont let me go out at all and beat me and my sister up all the time. im only allowed to see my friends at school coz i cant go out anywhere, and today we were all supposed to be going on an excursion but it turns out my dad didnt pay for me so i had to watch as all my friends went and left me behind. some life huh? i wish i was dead.

SUCKS

My dad ran over my mom with his truck.. HE was always beating her up and he beat his son at the age of 3 with a waterhose. He confronted my brother because he was using the phone and my brother and he hit him and kept hitting him. My brother was all beat up with blood. The good thing they got divorced but after 20 years of marriage. I dont know how my mom survived it all the violience all the beatings.

my family life sucks

jane is not my real name but i dont wanna say expose myself. growing up i had the best family. my parents were making good money, enough to satisy my brother and i. however that was wayyyyyy back when. i am 18 and fkn sad with my family life. about 3 years ago things started to go downhill..my mom worked in a factroy barley making income i dont know what happend to my dads job but we werent making any money. right now my dad literally left my mom broke and poor. we are soooo fucking poorr its not even funny. i cant even bring snacks to skool cuz we dont have any.i live in a crappyy shitty dirty appartment. my mom cries herself to sleep almlost every night. i share a room with my fkn 16yr old brother. i feel guilty when my mom buys a littelest snacks cuz i feel like that money was supposed to be for rent. i refuse to bring my friends over cuz im ashamed. seeing my mom so depressed and sick of her life saddends me. i ask myself how did we end up in this situation but i just dont kno.
fuck my dad he lies to much and is fake..my mom is so depressed to the point that she started to drink small quantities behind our backs which she hides behind her closet and drinks when she thinks no ones watching. im fucking 18 years old and i fantasize about what it would feel like to be born into a different family with a nice place to live and not worry about paying bills.
i know other people have worst problems than i do but still i feel pain. you should be looking fowward to going home at the end of the day to ur family but no me!....i go home to the same shit different day!....LIFE SUCKS!!

Hi, this story may not be as bad as others but it still sucks!!!

I am 19 yrs old and i've never had a best or true friend or a real boyfriend.

People say that u'll meet someone but maybe you should know that i live in a small community & go to school where there are 300-400 students TOTAL. Plus there are NO extra curricular activities.

Not to mention that i wake up 5:30 everyday to go to that same lame school.We have 8 hours of classes and with a 1 hour lunch break and a 15 minute snack break.The work is so heavy that most of it has to be done home- AND THIS IS FOR NORMAL SUBJECTS-- NOTHING ADVANCED!! I can't get a transfer because it's too late in the schl year & my mom kinda pressures me to stay there.

This is not because of the stress but did you ever sit back & think that IF U DIED 2DAY NO-ONE WOULD MISS U. *sigh* life sucks!!!

things that can fuck your life up

i feel no pain but my life ain't easy,i know i am my best friend.it's early morning and i am surrounded by silence,still in my mind there is a war waged and i can't sleep.most of the time i think how things could be if i would made different decisions.i grew up in a pretty fucked up family.my dad was alcoholic and my mom never saw me as an individual,she always looked at me like i was hers invention.she thought that if she gave me life she can program me how to act,what to think,how to talk etc.needless to say that didn't work.so basically i was a fucked up kid,growing up in a family where no one takes you seriously.sure when i was little and cute everyone was proud,but when i reached my teenage and all the "nastyness" from my personality broke loose,it is then when all the shit started to happen.i am not a good person,i say this honestly,though some people who know me says otherwise,but they just don't see whats inside me.you probably know this by yourself,that kids who grew up in problematic families in most of the cases become fucked up too.so...tataaa!i guess i am the one from these many cases.
i done things,bad things...didn't kill a human being though,if you're wondering,but i caused some nasty pain to many people.and you know,i always said,you gotta do what life makes you to do.that was my only rule that i didn't brake.am i proud?i can't say for sure...but in my opinion personal morals are an illusion that people see when they face many things in life.so basical...

Peace and solitude

All my life I'v been caught up in situations that I have no ideal how I ended up in it or how to get out from it and I feel it's my fault. I would like to leave but I have no way of leaving. I'm a burden to everyone. I just want everything to be eraised as if it never happened. I just want peace and solitude. That peacful oblivion.

I envy the dead.

this barley sums it up, but life SUCKS

This is a really JUICY story so where do I begin. I know nothing I can say will ever sum up everything that just makes me feel worthless and shitty. But I�ll give it a go. I�m a male, 16 years old and I am a sophomore in high school. First off, I really don�t want you to feel sorry for me this is just a way to vent. I HATE myself. I who I am is such a curse. I�m fat, ugly. I�ve never been as smart or as strong willed as the rest of my friends and family. Have you ever seen someone and just thought "wow he looks like the biggest fucking asshole I�ve ever seen" and just instantly hate them? That is me completely. I�m the most naturally unlikable person and I wouldn�t mind if even when they got to know me they would change the way they think of me. But after getting to know me they hate me even MORE. And as far I know I don�t do ANYTHING. I don�t hurt them. Im a very nice person and I don�t bash on my friends, but there�s just something about me that radiates haltered into people�s minds. I hate my voice. It makes me sound like a complete douche bag. It�s so annoying and no one can stand me. All my friends hate me. They don�t like me they just tolerate me. The only reason I even see them is because of school or the band I�m in with them. I always make the plans if we do something and if it was not for those two things I would fade away from their mind. That�s all I ever have been is just in the background. I�ve never been that one special friend. I�ve never been some ones be...

Unfortunarte events and Insanity

Hi, I live in India the miserable place on earth.
Where people live like animals,

I am 23 yrs old born in middle class family my father is businessman
We had all the luxuries in the life but one day that Lord of worst moments came and we lost all the things we had even our home, because my father had created this Luxuries on Bank loan C�mon and my mother and me don�t even have Idea about this thing
Till the last moment of auction of all things.

Ok that�s part 1 acceptable,

Next part is even after we have achieved this my father is continuing into his monster disastrous Ideas of business till date we don�t know what�s going to happen next,

After that, good thing happened I was lucky Dog. And went to UK to enjoy my holidays at my Uncles place but his Wife was monster for me She gave me treatment like dog. I forgot to enjoy while catching her thrown sticks. And learning new tricks, I was sleeping at carpet in the hall and eating tiny amounts of food spending day with my master.
That time remembered my friends dog he was luckier than me at least he was free to roam anywhere. Fuck any girl dong around.

After returning to India�.

I started to work in retail sector working as a team leader at big brands of mobile handset sales companies. I had my first love, girl was approaching me she was sweet looking, I was at the rollercoaster at that time had great fun, after that I came to know the girl was pure slut ...

"Good-Luck Chuck"

I'm sure many of you have seem this movie staring "Dane Cook". I've come across roughly the same concept. The last three girlfriends I've been with (between 1-3 year long relationships) have ended up cheating and getting married not more than weeks after the break-up. Now, even afterwards I'm told these events aren't caused by me and that apparently I'm a sweet guy but I'm starting to think otherwise and the only other option is that all three of them were complete whores. I'm about two steps away from just going asexual.