My life sucks big time. I am 23 years old and I don't even have a girlfriend. In fact, I've never had a real girlfriend in my life. I live in a basement apartment with my mom which she rents from our cousin who lives upstairs with her kids. It's cold and dark in the basement during the winter and humid and miserable during the summer.
I don't know anybody in my neighborhood and I don't have any real friends. I'm that proverbial guy who you read about who spends all his time on his computer in his mother's basement. I spend of a lot of my time looking at online porn because it helps relieve my stress and gives me a temporary escape from my depressing reality. To make things worse, I've been looking at gay porn which makes me feel really depressed and guilty afterward. I don't consider myself to be gay but I do get a greater "kick" out of looking at that kind of porn. It's just like the fact that some people would experience a more intense high from one drug in comparison to another. Porn is like a drug for me.
Sometimes I feel like the shell of a person just existing. I want to move out of this hell hole; probably to another state. I'm really smart (at least I like to think of my self that way), but I don't have a college degree yet and it's holding me back professionally. I want to work for an airline and get to travel around the world so badly, but they won't hire me because their are better qualified candidates out there. It's like nobody care if you are smart in this country if you don't have some sort of certification to back it up.
I'm thinking about joining the military, but I'm such a pussy -- I'm afraid that I wont be able to endure the strenuous physical exercises that come with military service. I don't know what to do with my life now. I was always so ambitious growing up, but circumstances along the way have brought me to this point in my life where I feel like my life has no meaning or direction.
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Don't mean to sound harsh, but it will only get worse if you wait. Do it now....
GI-BILL GET THAT CERT!!!!! TO WORK FOR THAT AIRLINE!!!!
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