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I threw away the best thing to happen to me after a long string of sadness

Posted by anonymous at February 22, 2012
Tags: Childhood  2012 February

My life isnt the worst there is not by far both my parents are alive for the time being and atleast there's that. 
But my life hasn't been a cakewalk. In my 18 years I've been through more than most people in their 30's have been through. I had a decent life as a kid my parents were together until I was about six or so. They faught every day I could remember then they got divorced. My mom left and my dad got full custody. My brother and sister both older than me got the things that they needed taken care of done for them while I was ignored. About the age of 10 my dad hooked up with a gold digging bitch who managed to get him to put her up in the house next door put her through 2 years of college pay for her 2 bastard children and buy her a brand new jeep a while putting him in crippling debt. Half the time I would be forgotten while everyone else (the gold digger her kids my dad brother and sister) would go out and do whatever it was they were going to do. I had my friends so I got along alright I went fishing alot whenever my friends weren't around I basically became a loner. The gold digger would blame me for things I didn't do my dad would believe her and I would get grounded while her kids did whatever the he'll they wanted they would steal my stuff and break it (and blame me). 
Around the age of 12 the gold digger moved away. About 6 moths later I started smoking cigarets it was my own little escape from the bullshit goin on around me. I started smoking pot about a year later. I was about 14 when my friends move away they kinda just left without saying goodbye. Then that's when shit hit the fan I was swaped from school to school until I wound up in an alternative school where basically the worst of the worst and most of the city's trailer trash wound up. The teachers would regularly go on drug raids where they'd find everything from pot to guns. People would regularly threaten to kill me even though I'd do nothing to instigate it. Around the age of 15 my friends moved back to the neighborhood and we started hanging out again my dad was really never home so we would use my house to party that went on for about 7 months. It was a loop I'd go to school get threatened jumped and chased cone home and smoke and drink until the pain went away. My dad became a heavy alcoholic and I was oblivious that it was goin on. On my sixteenth birthday we were evicted and wound up moving to another house which was alot less per month things started looking up. The threats at school stoped my dad slowed down on his drinking a little bit and I slowly got my grades back up. Then my dad started drinkin more heavily and I started to smokeand drink more to. My friends started coming over again and on the weekends we would get together and smoke and drink. Then my friend introduced me to his cousin and she is one of the most beautiful women that I have ever seen. They all started hangin out over at my place more and more and we would pop ex and kick it for the night yet I never had the courage to make a move on her she was just to breath taking for me to even try every body thought got laid all the time even though I was a virgin so I rolled with it and said I wasnt. I wanted to be with her so badly that it cept me up at night. But I'd take one look at her and get lost in her eyes then one day everybody just stoped coming around. she got a boyfriend (A guy that I knew all to well he had a 8 month old son that he ran away from and won't admit to being the father) the last time I really saw her was when I almost stabbed her boyfriend for gettin in my friend who's like my little sister (blood couldnt make us any closer) and I haven't seen her since. About 2 months later my dad tried to commit suicide just before my 17 birthday and I wound up having to leave my home town over night I didn't even get to say goodbye to my friends and family just to move to some podunk little shithole of a town where I wound trapped in a trailer 8 miles outside of town. I'm 18 now and still a junior in high school. My sophomore year I wound up loosing my virginity to the town slut and the sadest part is that I acually fell in love with her and thought she was worth staying with even though she was sleeping around behind my back. I wound up dumping her about a year ago because of her sleeping around I've been sober for over two years and a two faced slut was the best thing to happen to me in a in a long time (over 10 years). Now I'm the bad guy for dumping her for cheating on me and treating me like shit she would hit me a least twice a day and I never laid a hurtful hand on her and I'm still the "abusive" ex boyfriend because I bent over backwards to make her happy. Now im stuck in anonymity while she gets to have all the fun in this shity little town I can't even talk to a girl any more without being called an asshole life is so unfair sometimes. Now I'm alone and dirt poor going to school full time working a lousy three days a week. By the end of month I make a mear hundred bucks that about 75 of it goes to gas and the rest is on food. Im stuck in a rut and shits not changing. My cars a piece of shit and I can't afford to buy parts to fix it. I work hard and stay humble in the face of utter disrespect yet I still don't get respect from any body. I've come to believe that there's no justice in the world. 
The only way to get ahead is to bend over and take it like a bitch. 


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