So here I am, with my own place, a car, a job, a boyfriend. And I'm still not happy. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. It probably doesn't help I owe $33,000 in loans, I hate my fucking job because my sales manager is a fucking douchebag, and I hate my boyfriend half the time because he's an asshole. I feel so alone most of the time, I've only had like 1 best friend throughout my life, and and no other real close friends. I have some acquintances and friends now, but I don't feel that close to any of them. I was diagnosed with some stupid ass Asperger's Syndrome. But my brain is probably messed up because some inflammatory disease I know I have passed down from my mom's side of the family. The "disease" (not yet diagnosed...) has caused me to be underweight my entire life, people always commenting on how skinny I am, which pissed me off. Leave me and my shitty weight fucking alone, You're fucking fat, you see me telling you how fat you are? Um NO!!!! So shut the fuck up! My name means Joy, but I feel like I just have so much hate for everything, because people have made me like that. My dad also died when I was 7. I've never lived in the same place for more than 3 years. I had to live growing up in a nasty messy ass household because my parents were too fucking lazy to clean anything. My mom was always getting drunk and being stupid. Well now after I have everything that anyone needs to live comfortably, I feel like I've hit the ceiling and can't go up anymore. I feel like there's no point in moving forward anymore, you'd think that means I'm satisfied with my life where it is, but I think it means I'm depressed and don't care about anything anymore. I just wanna go out and fucking party....... | |
I know I don't know what exactly you are going through, but I urge you to look into your diet, and do loads of research online to find out if you are allergic to a certain type of food that you are eating, that is causing this inflammatory response. You would not have this condition for no reason; there must be a cause, and as with a lot of modern health conditions, diet is most probably the main contributing factor.
Try an elimination for a few weeks. Your best bet would be to eat a 100% raw diet, of just fruit and vegetables, as perhaps you have a gluten intolerance or your body does not agree with grains (this is more common than you would think).
Good luck, and remember, doctors don't know everything; don't blindly accept their diagnoses (or lack thereof!)
:)
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