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ugly virgin

Posted by Ashley at January 3, 2012
Tags: 2012 January  Loneliness

I have a really ugly face and I get made fun of all the time for it. I keep myself fit, I keep myself clean, I wear nice clothes but people still bug me. My face is more manly or something. Every few weeks I wax my eye brows. I wear make up sometimes as well. So it isn't like I go out without trying to look good. I've been made fun of since I was 12 for it and now I'm 25. I've never been in a relationship and I've only kissed two guys. I feel like I only come to live at work because my co-workers like me, so I end up having people to talk to and joke with. I have no friends outside of work. I've tried to make friends but people just don't want to be my friend. I am so sick of being lonely. I just spent a week completely alone because I had a week off work. I had no one to talk to and my family lives 40 mind away. I moved out here because I wanted job opportunities but also because I had no friends there. I figure a city would be full of people and I could make new friends easily. That wasn't the case. Although two years ago I had a group of friends from work but we have all moved on. So I'm lonely again. My new coworkers are all men and older. I just want a boyfriend so much, and friends. I want a family someday. I want people to stop bugging me about how ugly I am. I already know I am, so why rub it in? Sometimes I feel so.alone I want to die. My dad killed himself so I can't put my mom through that. It wood be cruel. I just feel lie life is pointless. No one wants to be my friend, boyfriend and I get called ugly despite my efforts. I try to make friends. I try dating. I try to think positively about my looks. But somedays its hard. I've gotten to the point I am too scared to walk down the street unless I have my headphones in and a Hood covering my face. That way I can hide my face, and the headphones block out peoples cruel words. I also get insomnia and I take sleeping pills but I still have so much on my mind I don't sleep and I feel funny because the sleepings pills have kickedin and I can't function right. I'm too scared to take more than two. I am having trouble sleeping right now, and I work at 630. I am using my cell phone to type this. So some words might be off.


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 30,Jan,12 21:17

Hey don't feel bad. Im a female and not even THAt bad looking. Today I was walking down the street with a black trench coat, penny loafers and corduroy pants, cuz Im not a slut. You know Im not going to walk down the street dressed like a hooker. A pair of hispanic boys walking across the street must have thought I was a really feminine guy so they screamed "queer" at me.

That's a first. I kinda wish I was a queer. Only a straight queer looking guy, cuz I think people have this thing where they taunt people they are either strangely attracted to or threatened by. Its like they are uncomfortable with their own sexuality. I think the most attractive people are able to balance their feminine and masculine qualities, not be an exaggeration of one or the other.
By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 08:18

whatever point you were trying to make here was completely stupid.....they called you a queer to ridicule you, not cause they wanted to "pork" a queer and most definitely not because they were afraid of fags....i've heard alot of gay people, like my own sister, say "they're just afraid of me, they're just threatened", it's obviously something homosexual people tell themselves to make themselves feel better...."the names and hate is because they're threatened by me" is the most delusional failure to understand a situation i've ever seen.......just because faggots are confused of their sexuality, they think everyone else is too.....HA, lol.....but hey, i guess you have to make yourself feel better somehow since the little voice in your head that you don't really listen to anymore is constantly convicting you for your ridiculously unnatural sin.
By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 15:01

um....
a. im a chick
b. if guys have issues with men that look feminine its probably because having a semi erection from that is making them uncomfortable.. or because they know women are more attracted to them. feminine men score more pussy---fact!
c. the point was that you have to dress a certain way and hyper exzaggerate your gender to be considered that in this society. Buddhist nuns dont adorn themselves, have hair or wear makeup. They look like feminine boys. In order for a woman to be considered a "woman" or a man to be considered a "man" they have to dress and act in societal prescribed unnatural ways. For a woman-tit implants, makeup, permed/dyed hair, men, its an I have no emotions attitude, their clothes, shaving, cut hair, unadornment, no makeup, and crappy smelling calogne.
So much focus is put everyday into fitting into you gender roles, but if you do so much as not conform to gender roles, then people can easily mistake even an attractive person for the other gender, because ideas of gender are not real, they are mostly society created. There is not THAt much difference between men and women. Some people have issue with androgyny. I find it beautiful, and we are heading into a time when mean and women will stop conforming to made up standards.
By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 15:11

ps. I hope you realize that getting a rise off of insulting people through your own voluntary
non-comprehension/putting people down before you take the time to understand what they are saying, makes you a worthless asshole.

IF! I was man man with long hair and makeup on...how does calling me a QUEER from safely across the street make you men? For all you know I could be perfectly straight but like to look good and scoring more pussy that you. Women don't really want bodybuilders who shave their heads and beat their girlfriends to a pulp anymore, actually they never DID. Women dont get turned on by your steroids, your sweat or your testosterone, OR your insensitive, MAN act. When you are children playing grown up. Totally out of touch with what women really need.
By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 17:44 Fold Up

you just got off on some dumb shit, your brain is fucking broken.....the line "B" you wrote absolutely proves that, but keep telling yourself whatever you have to so that you can sleep at night.....gender roles?.....your mind is so fucking cracked....you really think that society created this, the way guys focus on being tough and productive and women focus on being attractive and beautiful?.....most women are locked in cometiton with OTHER WOMEN, not the opposite gender....you should think before you type
By queer at 01,Feb,12 18:01

You are so butthurt. Pleeeease post a youtube vid on this and post the link here. I been needing some lolz. I want to see how red and greasy your face looks when you're angry lmfao!
By anonymous at 02,Feb,12 02:09

umm, yea, that guy is right. you should think before you type. you bring nothing to the table and the poster doesn't sound pissed, he jus said you're an idiot and i agree


By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 01:32

Hey i'm the same way Alone well thats how I feel even doe I have a great family that loves me you knw what doe I read sumthing just a few min. ago this is my way of saying it Just stop every thing and do truly what you like to do what makes you happy dnt look for love because no matter what you can't force anything I know. Sumthing else no can love you as well as you can't love no one if you don't love ur self I'm doing it today just doing what I can do loving my life and being happy like a butterfly the more you chase it the further it goes but if you sit n chill it'll come and sit on ur shoulder


By at 31,Jan,12 08:43

listen, you be a light in the lives of the people who are blessed enough to know you.....some of the women i have been the absolute most attracted to in my life were not what you'd see on the cover of sports illustrated....and here's why.....they were a constant joy to be around, an endless smile from them creates sense of happiness that is captivating to everyone.....a friend of mine named Josh married a woman named Chrissy, who's body is not really very fit and her face is not the type of image you see broadcast on late night tv trying to sell tooth whitening products or get rich quick schemes.....but Chrissy makes everyone around her feel amazing because of innocent, playful, loving, childlike happiness.....she makes people feel alive and happy to be near her....i'm very proud for my friend Josh to have married such a good woman......this is your hurdle, but this test is easily passed.....all you have to do is be a light that cannot be put out, not by insults, nor harsh words, nor dirty looks, nor jealousy, nor anything from others meant to make you shine less......do this and you will have the things you want :)


By at 31,Jan,12 09:01

oh yea, one more thing.......stop taking sleeping pills.....you are taking medicine to treat a symptom, not the cause of the problem.....were you born with pills?......did you never sleep before them, EVER?.....of course you did, you know they're not doing good for you because you say yourself that you can't function right and that you're afraid of them....watch for stimulants in your diet like caffeine and B vitamins, especially in the afternoon and later part of the day.....search the classifieds and buy a used elliptical machine......place it in your room near your bed, when you can't sleep, spend a few minutes at a comfortable, continuous pace.....immediately afterwards, lay flat and breathe slow, long, deep breaths.....this will lower your blood pressure and teach your body to relax, you will beat insomnia this way.
By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 15:57

Sleeping pills are the least of your problems. If on some nights two doesn't work take three, you're not going to die, you're not getting injections of demerol on top of it so relax. The next night you will only need two. If the pills don't work go to a psychiatrist and get kind (ex ambien doesn't fix insomnia-at all so take something better). I have insomnia and I know this natural way of trying to combat it doesn't work. But! take it for a month or twn ONLY dont keep taking it long term. Only take it enough to get back on your natural sleep cycle. I envy your life. You have a job you like and you are independent. loneliness sucks, but being lonely and not having even that is worst. Everyone is beautiful.
By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 17:52

you are ABSOLUTELY WRONG.....you have not tried this "natural way" or your post would read much differently.....i wonder what people did before sleeping pills were invented......can't imagine how anyone ever slept without attaching themselves to a so-called doctor or a prescription to make it happen for them......OP, don't listen to this guy, you control you, you don't need some special chemical everyday to live your life.....insomnia is an illusionistic made up diagnosis coined simply to produce money for clever people who know how to mix some shit up and put it into a tiny pill to make you sleep......find a way to fix it under your control, and keep your money for things that you really do need.....you control you


By anonymous at 01,Feb,12 01:34

Tell me where you are at and I will come pound your pussy for you.
By anonymous at 01,Feb,12 13:54

Well there you have it op. Best answer here. Lesson: If you are a chick.. you can get laid.


By anonymous at 10,Sep,12 14:38

I wanna die too.. I have three bestie (two girl, one guy( who is gay) during secondary school and one of them match make me with one of my secondary guy friend.. so me and the secondary school bf went to the same school and class during college.. he make mi dis friend one of my bestie and now left two bestie..(one guy,the gay and one girl who is bi)

and my this (bi)have the same relationship as mi..

our bf will use violence again us and we tried to suicide before


we both break up the same time but she is lucky she meet alot of gay friends and now happily in and relationship with her leb partner.. last for 1yrs

and she know who her friends will..


unlike mi when i broke up with my ex i happen to saw one of my ex secondary school mate she intro her friends to me.. and one of the girl is leb.. i use to like her and been in r/s but she using mi to socialize with friends and one of my friend bf use mi to break up with her and she befirend mi and now she happily attach and they still friend with the eachother.. and i leave nothing.. i dunno who to hang out be locking my self and home and one of my secondary school the friend is flirt around one.. i just find nothing goes smooth in my life.. i regret beaking up with mi ex.. and he dunno why i break up with him until i cant hang with this stuff i call him up to patch but he already got new thai gf...


and now i dont have the strength to work and i make my parents see mi from a normal girl but be can lidat that..

i so envy my two sis one can me up with friend a no worry.. the other is happily attach and gg to marry...

is like my two sis life being so smooth, and my friend and those asshole life being so smooth then mine..

and i happen to be close with one of the guy friend she said is my fault i was like want and she said who ask you to socialize but not mi is she the butch.. i just hate everything...

i just wanna be single and hang out with friend but scare as their guys friend all are not serious in r/s and when i'm in them thy call mi slut or something.. i wish to be you if i can


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