Ever wonder why some people are workaholics?
Why people want to find a way to make themselves pathetically busy, to the point where you are almost unable to see them regularly?
Why some people cannot seem to stay single, why lottery winners hang themselves, why celebrities commit suicide, why there's so much depression in the world?
In my opinion, one of the main reasons for all of the situations above is PURPOSE. Finding a purpose for your life, a meaning for your existence, something/someone waiting for you to wake up in the morning, a motivation to put on clean clothes in the morning and get out of your safe, comfortable bed.
The reason why im on this very site. I feel as if I have no purpose. I search, I dig, to find some hidden talent, some passion, some interest... I don't come across any. I have very good looks but that almost seems to be about it. And that only gets your foot thru the door (not in every case) but after that?
Today I had a horribly depressing day. and I will tell you this, I AM PMSing. That is very true. But apart from my raging hormones, underneath, I have some needs that are not met.
When I was younger, I always envisioned myself to be a successful, beautiful woman who everyone would love. I envisioned a handsome guy finding me and taking me away.
I am 23 and apart from receiving my bachelor's degree, I havent achieved any other goal. I look at people who have had the same time on earth as me and have already achieved so much, are already millionaires..... and i am sitting here in my parents house, unemployed, still searching for a PURPOSE. Its sad. and I hate myself for it. and if anyone comes near me right now, I will bark at them like a n angry dog.
I hate..HATE seeing my friends succeed while im so down. i cant take it. its painful. i have never been this jealous of a person in my life. what has happened to me? what happened to everything i had hoped for myself? why are other people living my dreams? why are they more successful than i am?
what the fuck am I doing on this planet? Why am i here? This has been a very sad sunday for my mind. |
I was about to write an entry on this site, but you, my doppelgänger, just did it!
And now I feel worse, because I'm about to turn 29.
FUCK OUR LIVES!
I am also 23, also unemployed, failed my degree, and have no purpose in life.
I wasnt blessed with good looks (that appears to be the general consensus anyway) but never had PMS, thankfully because i am a guy and looks arent that important to me.
The way you described your dreams as a younger person was really quite insightful i think people can relate to that.
I have to say, at the risk of sounding a little sexist, of all the posts i have read on this site, which would number quite a few by now,i have never seen a woman write so coherently. Dont sell yourself short,("I have very good looks but that almost seems to be about it.") After reading your post, i dont believe that statement to be true. You clearly have a high intellect, and i believe, (guess i have to because of my own situation) that there are still enough people in todays world to appreciate that, though the numbers are dwindling.
You just need a foot in the door so to speak. This should be easier for you if you are attractive, (evidence suggests this is particularly helpful for finding work). It seems as much as anything else you are probably lacking some confidence at the moment, which is understandable. Dont worry too much what your friends are doing. Your time in the sun will come. I wish you well.
I, too, dig, wonder, and fucking think in too much depth to the point I feel depressed.
Besides, I'm similar age with you.
I'm 21 and go to college, too.
Also, I'm becoming jealous of other people very strongly.
What I want to say is that well, at least you consider your self good looking.
I'm guy, and I consider my self average but without confidence at all.
Thus, girls seem stay away from me, I guess.
I wish I could have at least few girl soul mates whom I can talk with rational subject.
Buy, girls do not want that because it sounds serious.
Hey, cheer up if you see this in 2012.
just relax a bit and someone who loves you will come to you since you are girl it would be much easy.
but, be careful though, if you are attractive, then guys will come not to talk about purpose of life, but to get laid. What I want to say is that stay strong and talk to guys who come you and talk about thoughts you want to share with "right away".
I do not like not having goals. I am very driven and goal oriented. However, I don't know where I am headed and what is the point of all of this?
I watch people work hard, bitch about the economy and waste all their hard earned money. I don't get it.
I never thought of this but lately, I wish I could just marry a really rich man so I can just afford to contemplate the meaning of life, look good, work out and do some charity.
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