Reading the abuse stories I know there's much MUCH worse then what I'm about to say. But I feel disgusting and thought I may aswell voice it. I'm 16 years old and my cousin, who was living with us for a few years, raped me two months ago. It was the most horrifying experience of my life. On the kitchen floor. We were home alone for a little while. When I turned around he held me down, pinned me to the floor and cut my clothes off with a knife. I was a virgin before that and it hurt so much. I fought as hard as I could, but he threatened to burn me with boiling water that was bubbling on the stove. I would never reach in time. I cried for days afterwards. But thank God I wasn't pregnant. I told my mum and dad and they kicked him out. But for dad, I think it was the closest thing to a son he's ever had. Sometimes he'll accidentally mention him, then instead of looking angry he'll look sad. So I feel so guilty. I feel dirty. I have nightmares about him often, and I keep thinking of the things I could've done to escape. I'm ruined. |
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