Well this is the first time i am writing on this wall. Ok here i go maybe someone out there can relate to my story....I have been married for 19 years and have 3 beautiful girls. I knew from the begin he was no good but i didn't listen and moved out of my house just to be with him, even thou i knew he was a liar, cheating, etc. I have bailed him out of jail god knows how many times. He was even getting deported, we already had our first child, and i bailed him out again, even when his family all turned there heads on him i was there. He use to drink alot and still does never changed from 19 years ago. I thought by having another child we could save what we have (stupid) so our second daughter was born. I bought a house and things never changed for us, he has no respect for me whats so ever. Police was called so many times to our house because of him drinking and getting very nasty and in return i would also get nasty to him I know that is not right. He would always be out come home when ever he felt like it no family values whats so ever he was raised like that where his dad walked all over his mother. very abusive and he is his father. we had our third daughter and we moved back to my old town and i bought a house there same shit just different day. He blames me for him having an affair that i caught him and also blames me for trying to start something up with his best friend's girlfriend which whom i introduced him to (she was a very good friend of mine) after what my husband pulled we are no longer friends and i miss that. I have bent over backwards for him and still do his family never calls nothing not even a christmas card for my kids nothing. I ask him all the time what are you doing here i just cant figure that out and if he leaves for that one night the guilt starts coming over me like where is going to sleep etc.. his family thank god dosen't really talk to him because they think he is an asshole he can't control his drinking. I don't think he has told me in couple of years now that he loves me nothing. We don't even have sex anymore. I know he can't give me and never will what i am looking for and to make it worst i got dx with breast cancer and i was feeling very depressed the other day that i was in a store and just started to cry his response was i'm napping right now i'll talk to you later. I have been taking care of him babysitting him serving him everything for 19 years and the way he treats me is really bad I feel bad for my girls i see them and when i ask him to leave they are happy until he comes home the next day i am teaching my girls that i am weak everything and i don't want that for my kids i don't want them to think it's ok to get treated like a piece of shit from a man. I don't know why i feel so bad for him i just do. I am so depressed I don't know anymore | |
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