LIFE SUCKS

Cruelty.

This world sucks. For the most part things seem okay in my life until recently. My boyfriend lives with me and has switched to 3rd shift. Not only does it suck not having him around hardly at all, but when he is around me he nearly avoids me. My family is so dysfunctional it is just falling apart at the seams. I work two jobs at about 50-55 hours a week. I also go to college.

Did I mention I am only 18. I lost all friends in high school to some stupid rumors. I try to make friends all the time. There is not a single decent person in the world I swear. Everyone has turned on me and put me down so much.
I feel so ignorant when I talk. I feel like I'm always being annoying and that no one wants to be around me. My self-esteem is so low anymore. I have built up this barrier to block everyone out basically because I feel everyone will just hurt me somehow.

I haven't spoken to my father in months. He didn't come to graduation or call me on my birthday or contact me for any reason for that matter. My mom and I used to be best friends but she has gotten kinda depressed so she brings me down sometimes.

I don't feel happy nor do I even belong anymore. I am already mostly invisible, I just wish I could fully disappear.