Normally I deal with my problems quietly. However, right now I am at a complete standstill. I can't think clearly and I am so depressed.
Here's my story.
I had a little girl two years ago and although she tests my patience, I have so much love for her. She is the smartest, most beautiful and funniest little girl and I wouldn't change her for the world. But having her has changed me. Like most Mum's, my life is not my own anymore, and 90% of the time I'm more than happy to stay home.
I met a man when my little girl was 6 months old, and at first I was soooooo wary of him. I left the room when feeding or changing her, I did absolutely everything for her. As time passed I grew to trust him and started to let him spoonfeed her, then progressed to staying in the room to change or bathe her.
She is now obsessed with my partner and calls him Dada. He loves her to bits and admits that he loves her more than he loves me, which is fine cos I'll never love him like I love my little girl. It makes me feel more secure in our relationship when I hear that.
Anyway, to get back to the point, I could never do anything to take my partner out of my daughter's life. However, after months of us not getting along, something in his head finally clicked about how he was behaving. He is now taking anti-depressants (due to being out of work for 12 months). He has improved massively and is getting job interviews regularly, is cleaning the house more and interacting better with me and our little lady. But he confessed to sleeping with someone around February 2010. I am absolutely gutted and I don't know how to forgive him.
I don't think I want to be his promised (we bought eachother promise rings instead of getting engaged because of financial difficulties) anymore. I know I love him, and that he has put all that behind him. I trust him 100% still, because he told me himself and he is ashamed. But I keep imagining him with this girl and my insecurities are making me worse. I am so upset but there's nothing I can do. We've just agreed to take on a lease in a new house and I'm afraid that we're going to split up.
How do I talk to him and tell him all this? I don't want to hurt him.