Let me start by giving you a little history. I am 38, still a virgin, and I really wanted to be a cop or go into the armed forces. I got rejected from the army because of some physical problems. Dream dead. Same went for the cops. I have been working at this company for like four years and at a security company where I like to strut my shit. It really gives me the only pleasure in my life working security at the mall. So anyway, I fell in love with this girl at my job, things were going great and I thought that she might actually talk to me sometime. So I started to follow her around and got her flowers and braclets and stuff. What did the bitch do? she reported me to HR! I almost got fired. Two weeks later, they fired her for not doing her job properly, so I waited outside and when she came out I told her that I would always love her....She kicked me in the fucking sack and walked off. that has been six months ago and I still whack it thinking about her. I drive a black car that looks like a cop car, I actually pulled a chick over once and she noticed that my security uniform was from the mall. She hit me in the head with a lit cigarette and drove off. I just want to end it all, women are so damn shitty. I have been saving money for years, I wanted to live great and retire early but it wont do me any good because I cant find a woman to be with. I went on a cruise last year and the only people who would hit on me were these three guys from California. So I thought what the hell? I had to go see the ship Dr. after that, My ass hurt soooo bad. I guess I am not gay, or I would have liked it. I just want to do the deed. I might just go by carbon monoxide in front of the girls house who I still truley love. Then maybe she will love me back. I hate my life | |
I just can't w8 to read what truth's point of view of the matter is :D
So, I ran it thru the program on the compuTAr and it came out something like this: (keep in mind that this is the program's translation so go fuck yourself in the left eye if you don't like it.)
" I'm an ex mall cop that got fired for running a hidden cam in the boy...I mean the GIRLS BATHROOM...I DID NOT DO THIS IN THE MENS ROOM DAMMIT SO FORGET I SAID THAT!!!, anyway, so I was caught watching the guys ...er..girls...take their little pees and poopies and it would have been ok except i was moaning in the video room while rubbing my cloaca, which is like a small cock that birds use even though both males and females have them. They're like anus-cocks, and you piss , shit , and cum out of them, which is like my penis...so anyway, I got fired.
Then, later that week I saw the HR lady that fired me and I was like hey HR lady that fired me what th....WHAM!!!! and she kicked me in the nuts 3 times before i could say '...e fuck did you have to go and fire me for???'...which I never got to finish.
I shit my pants right then, and barfed a little, and cried.
So, I took my last 800 bucks and paid cash for a 3 day cruise on a boat called 'The Man of Iwantcha' , and we sailed for mejico, which is a faggoty way of saying mexico, which is actually both wrong and faggoty.
Anyway, long story short, the only lady on board was a fat dyke (i think) named 'kris' so on a lark I decided to get drunk and take it up the ass, which I did, and as expected, I liked it, so now I'm a cock munching pillow biting catcher who always knew I needed the man flute. Thanks for listening!"
...wow David Trout, Thanks for the insight!
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