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I lost ten years of my life.

Posted by Emily at September 9, 2011
Tags: Crime  Justice  Mistakes  2011 September

I am now 31. when i was 20 I conviced of a crime. I was charged with theftby receiving. they gave ten years in prision. I was put in custidy as soon as the judge gav my sentence. I was put on the bus with serval other women and the all were wearing street clothes and i had ona pretty floral dress balck heels nude stockings white slip white bra and white panties with butterflies and flower print. We taken off the bus and put in to holding cell at the prsion. The took to anther area where there was stalls with no doors. The officer said that it was time for body cavity search and she alos said when the basket is full give to the guard. While I was getting undressed I saw other women undressing. I strip down to my bra and panties and the guard I had take off everything. As soon as i put my bra and panties in the basket I gave the it to the guard. After the search they made us take shower and we only got 30 seconds. they gave uniforms and we had to sign in. One night I got raped. 3 women took to another part of the jail and ripped of my uniform and lingerie and and fondold me and committed sexual acts on me. Then they beat me. I was in the imfirmery for a week to recover. That still plays over and over in my mind. Ten years lock up raped and lost my veginity. I served the entire sentence. I got 6 monthes ago. No to help me no freinds. No one to love me. I was pretty when i went in to prisoin and came out rough looking. My life sucks becuase of on stupid thing I did. I am lost with the ten ten years of my life gone. I wish i could find a man to love me. My parents wil not help me and I can get job becuae there is no job to get. My life sucks.


Similar Entries:
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New Comment

By anonymous at 04,Nov,11 07:07

I really don't want to upset you, but lets get the obvious out of the way. Going to jail was probably your own fault. Unless there are some other circumstances that you did not mention...

Despite that, you had it pretty rough, but look at it this way: you are 31, that's still pretty young. Have you noticed there are people who are 40+ years old on this website and they have the same problems you do right now (single, don't know what to do with their life). To put it into perspective: You have lost 10 years on your life and you still are ahead of some people in many ways. That basically means that the next 10 years of your life will probably be very productive and pleasurable.

As for those terrible things you had to go through, well it's all in the past now. I'm sure it must be very hard, but there is absolutely nothing anyone, including yourself, can do about that (apart from maybe seeing a therapist?), so it would be wise to try your best to let go of those memories and look ahead, not behind.

I'm sure you will meet someone who likes you, but you have to mingle with the right people, you don't want to meet some jerk who will only make things worse.

By at 04,Nov,11 09:32

Two problems; money and love

Money is essential, and love is not. How can you earn money? YOu can turn religious as they forgive and provide you with connections.

Or you can work in the sex industry. Looking rough? Overweight? Google healthy life style, diet, and live by the results. Work as a stripper for it is easier. Be a prositute as it gives secured income. There is one state in the US where it is leagal to work in brothel. Half of Australia has legalised brothel. You can make a good living if you are determined enough.

Love? You just need to learn to live in society again and find one man who loves you for who you are with all the attraction you ever posses. Doesn't it sound easy? I assume that you wont turnt to women as you were raped by women.
By Emily at 07,Nov,11 17:09

I would never turn to women. When iwas rape by them they told I had a pretty name and they stripped meof my prison uniform bra and panties and raped me. That play over in my mind. I have apllied for a job a t a Honda Trnsmission plant to make transmissions for car and trucks. I hope I ge the job becuase it pays 15 an hour. I hope my phone rings saying I got the job.

By Emily at 09,Nov,11 22:42

I got the job a the Honda transmiison plant. I have ajob that pys well and the men there seem sto like me and to day ws my first day on the job they called friday eving and told I have the job. Im will try to keep my job.

By Emily at 16,Nov,11 22:57

I good looking nive man ske e out and he work on the odessy tranmssion esembily ,ine I I wrok the on the ridgeline trnasmison esembily line. He says that he think I am pretty even though he doesn't know that I have 10 years in prison. My life is sartiong to get beeter. I hope the next 10 years are than the 10 years I lost.

By anonymous at 25,Nov,11 13:29

Here is the problem I see ..
You are looking for a an to take care of you !

You need to learn to take care of YOU !!
You can not think prince charming is going to pay all your bills and you don't have to work for anything .

What you need to do to make a better choices in YOUR life and is ask God into your life !!
God is the only one who can save you not a man !!

The way your going is yes you will find a man but will he treat you right or use you and abuse you ?

You need to love yourself and be strong with the faith of God .
Ask God what do you want me to do ..
God will show you the path your purpose ..
Don't you want that ?

By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 04:06

So happy to hear that you got the job! I hope things will just keep getting better and better for you now.

By anonymous at 20,Dec,11 12:24

I've been reading the stories on this site and so far yours is one of the best for one reason, the follow-ups, i'm really interested in hearing how it worked out for the people telling the stories.. good for you!

By Emily at 22,Dec,11 00:04

I spen tten years in prison and I lost hat ten years and lost my virgnity to some women that were also imates. When I got out I was totally afraid of what would become of me but I did let stop me from geeting a good job that pays well. A nice guy that I work with is treating nicely and he has taken me out but I have told wha the first 10 years I was in prison becuae I don't how he would react. A woman at has invited to spend x-mas a the house becuase she lives alone I thin k I will take her on her offer. Thing are fine for me now.

By anonymous at 02,Jan,12 20:51

So fake Ur more precise about Ur underwear than Ur problems ...
By Emily at 03,Jan,12 20:25

Gp tp hell my problems have over for awhile. I fiannly told him that I was prison. He told that his 13 year old duaghter from previous maagie was in JUV. Hr took me to visit her and I told her that if she gets is to walk the straight and narrow and I told what happend to me in prison. I told that place is mor scarey thanthe place she in now.

By Emily at 17,Jan,12 23:15

i got my girlish figure. I am the way I looed before i endee up in prison. I get wear the lothes I use to wear becuase I have lost the weight I put on. I wear make up but not work becuase when I get home I take shower. Last friday was the first I got my hair done in ten years and I had them die red. that was the color I died before I went to prison. I have a car a house and job and a boyfreind who loves me and he not abuusive. My life has turned around for the better. It is like getting the tenyears back I lost.

By Emily at 25,Jan,12 18:46

I had minor set back. Last night I had a nightmare. I relived thewomen raped me. I relive being striped fondold and raped. It is hard get over being vilatedlike that but I will get over it with time and some therapy. I still have my job and I enjoy my with the money I make. I have paid my income tax. now I just waiton my return.

By Emily at 03,Feb,12 18:28

I go hitmatized abou that night I was raped I had to relive that again. I rember their voices saying that I had pretty name I can herar ths ound of my clothes being ripped off and feel them fondling me and I also rember being raped. I cam out and he told that I should rember details that well and he hitmatized me again and I don't why he didI don't rember anything about the second time. I wonder if he make it where I don't rmember what happened to me in prison.

By at 24,Mar,12 18:48

ai am now engauged to be married the man I am with proposed last ight after dinner is when he propsoed in front all the other folks there I siad yes. I have my girlishfugure back I have had my hair done and I wear make up ut not work. All the men a the plant think iam very pretty and they think they would like to go out with me I have only been with on man and his daughter from a previous maaraigeis about get paroled from JUV. I will help walk the straight and narrow. I told if she had another run withe cops and it her fualt that i would turn my back on her but if I wasn't then i would try to help her and I told she needs to ditch her freinds who are bad influence on her and she siad she would have any freinds to to talkmto and told her I will be your and yountalk to about anything. She resects me and she Iam wise becuase of the time I spwnt in prision.

By Emily at 18,Apr,12 19:40

Me and liam are not married and and I asked is duaghter be my matrain of honer and she excepted. she was so happy that asked her to do that for me. Some freind of mne wre also prides maids. they did my make up my hair and helped in the dress. I was a pretty pride. I have picutes that show how pretty i looked and it sit on the shelf above the fire place. I got photo with me my husband and his duaghter. Anna is doing fine and she reports to her parole officer and i make sure she does. I take every monday to check in with her parole officer and fridaynthe jundge out on probation. I will take her see her probation officer on Monday.

By Emily at 21,Sep,12 23:12

I am now pregenant and i now the ex of my baby it is a girl. I am going to give in 4 mouthmns a dn due in Januraury. I hope he is healthy. I have been taking good care my self an going to my prenail appoitns eat right cuttin gouth e caffine. not coffee or coke unless it decaffinate or Caffen free. My husband is watch me keeping from fro smoking and drinking. I know I can take care of my self but he want s to help soIlet him

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